Tragedy At 60 Feet/Transcript

NICKEL: Oh and THIS one?

Dude, I was crushed! By a safe!

Look at me! I'm a whole millimeter thinner than before!

That wasn't meant for me!

Yes, she's a lucky clover. We- eh...

Wait... did you plant that to crush her?

That's irrelevant. Look!

Her luck will be the demise of all of us!

Uh, yeah.

I don't think she's the one we need to worry about when we have Box

literally voting for us!

There are only four of us Sinkers left and we need Box to be in line.

I mean he clearly must've just slipped or something.

He's with us! To the bitter end.

And besides, he's the only reason the two of us are...

Um...

Oh and look at this photo!

Nickel... the two of us are... what?

[BELL CHIMES]

Boys! I hope you both came famished!

Look at you, Nickel, so thin!

I've prepared quite the feast for our...

... alliance...

[COUGHS] EUGH!

GROSS!

Sorry for the repulsed reaction... but frankly,

I'M REPUSLED!

Okay, calm down.

Boys, this shouldn't even need to be a discussion.

How can you ever trust Box again?

He's a chronic liar!

And besides,

has Box ever prepared a five-course meal for you all to indulge in?

Isn't this just the Pic-Nix table with a cloth over it?

Noooo?

Oh, my mistake.

Funny you mention that, because I really wanted a...

BROWNIE!

What meshugas is this?

I've been FRAMED!!!

Yeah well we'll see how you hold up in COURT!

Boooooox!

Have you lost weight?

My luncheon didn't go quite as planned.

So I needed a Plan B!

And "B" stands for Box!

This tough mama's not going down without a fight!

Luckily I've prepared this entire feast just for you!

Care to dig in with me?

Ah, I see. You prefer to eat in private.

I'll just leave you to it.

1, 2, 3, GO!

[♫]

Everyone, I have some disheartening news.

We've received reports that our show's practices have been deemed...

unsafe.

Apparently we didn't follow the...

"proper protocol".

Feh, "irresponsible"?

The only thing unsafe here is your usage of air quotes.

Agreed, team?

Eh heh.

Oohh...

And while I personally disagree,

we have to comply or I might get sued again!

Ugh!

For the record, the court thing earlier... was a joke!

And because I refuse to go to prison again...

The next challenge is the epitome of "safety".

The classic egg drop challenge.

Each team will be given an egg and has to create a contraption to keep the egg safe.

Use any of the provided "safety tools" you want to create your contraption.

Once completed, the contraptions will be thrown off the island's cliff.

If your egg busts open at any point, you're automatically up for "elimination"!

Alright, good luck!

THE FLOOR: Hold up, mate?

What about safety protocols? You're not gonna watch over us?

Floory, this is a reality show.

You're always being watched over.

Alright, so this is Structural Engineering 101.

Let's get this started with a simple length-width-height measurement

for volume calculations, and then we-

Up up! Hate to push in on such educated thinking.

But maybe it's best we perhaps let...

... fate intervene.

Fate? Also don't lie you clearly enjoy pushing him.

Precisely! Exhibit A!

Heh!

[ALL GASP]

[CLOVER LAUGHS]

I've been studying Clover's strange abilities since Day 1.

And I've concluded some fine data:

She's...

lucky.

WHAT?!

Sure, sometimes things work out for me.

But I think a positive outlook can will anything into existence.

Without that, we'd all be doomed.

As long as Clover is heavily involved in some capacity

and her fate is on the line,

we shouuuuuuld be succesful!

Well thank you for that very carefully crafted observation

but I am not relying on otherworldly forces again, so-

We can see if your method measures up.

But! Only if you turn that frown upside down!

Eh um I'm not following-

AH!

CLOVER: There we go!

Hehehehe!

- So I think-

- The best action-

- Oh oh sorry... uh...

- Uh, so... er...

- What I meant was...

- I mean uh...

- Uh...

- Er...

Oh I'm so sorry, please continue.

It would be unwise of me to attempt control.

SILVER SPOON: Everyone is so afraid of coming across as a leader

that we're in complete gridlock.

I'd expose them all as the hooligans they are but

I'm on quite thin ice as is.

Why don't we all just focus on one side of the contraption

and we'll put them together at the end!

That way we all have an equal say.

- That's brilliant! Ah..

- Very wise... oh...

- Oh, sorry.

- My apologies.

Haha! Okay we should stop that now.

Alright Sinkers! With Lifering gone,

we need someone to make an obligatory motivational speech.

So if you'll allow me, I have a few remarks prepared.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Ah, very succinctly worded Box. Ingenius!

So powerful. Ah!

A true poet.

[BLOWS NOSE]

Are we gonna build our contraption out of glass?

Because they're being utterly transparent! And I'm gonna crack.

I'm sorry I got so emotional there.

Box, that speech took some real chutzpah!

Forget repulsed. I will literally VOMIT right now.

Tea Kettle just wants to stay in the game.

Go easy on Box, after all...

he's the only reason we're even tolerating each other, right?

I... never... said that.

You didn't need to.

Hey Box! ... and TK...

Uh need a hand? I've got zero!

TEST TUBE: Hoowee! Looking neato team!

[CLOVER LAUGHS]

Sorry Test Tube...

Ha... I can't take you seriously still looking like that!

Thanks!

Hey Cabby!

Ca-can you remind me what the melting temperature of plastic is?

My clumsy self always forgets.

[CABBY SIGHS]

I dunno Test Tube, it's clear you're not interested in utilizing my database.

Oh so you wanna sabotage us now, huh?

Way to be a SNOLLYGOSTER!

Snollygoster?

[GASPS]

How crude!

MmmmMMM!!!

The conflict is TOO MUCH!

It's like... when you're drawing with chalk on the pavement and it snaps MID MARK!

Unbearable! Without that tension...

we'd be golden!

And voila!

[PATHETIC FANFARE]

YANG: This looks like... dumb garbage!

It barely holds together!

But our team is being held together! And that's what counts!

The sum of all parts is greater than the whole...

I think you have that backwards, my dear.

Oh.

Ohhh, we only made five sides!

Sorry for the miscounting, lads.

[INHALES]

[SIGHS]

It's alright Thinkers!

I have... thoughts...

but does anyone else have suggestions?

My goodness you all, get a grip!

We can make an actual plan without designating a leader.

But you heard MePhone, once our egg is cracked

we're done for and- uh oh.

It's getting on me...

MePhone's not here, is he?

Yin, your eggshaped physique is our ticket now.

Tall One, get digging.

We just need, to think!

My goodness, Box! What handiwork skills you have!

I hope TK hasn't been TOO distracting!

Hun, frankly, you know bupkis.

I built nearly the whole darn thing and-

I- I mean yes! Box is a strong collaborator.

Can't say the same about everyone,

especially people who-

-withhold information!

We need to work together as a unit or we'll rue it!

Agreed. And that includes listening to others for insight!

You guys, all of your ideas are valuable.

But your egos aren't. No offense.

So I'm gonna need those smiles to flip. Hmm?

Do you guys wanna flip those frowns???

GET YOUR PAWS OFF ME!

I'll be frank. I'm concerned-

-about this little... "what have you."

Your vocabulary and little snacks aren't gonna manipulate MY number one ally!

Hmm... number one you say?

Eh I mean one of them yeah, look!

My buddy's coming with ME!

No way Jose!

Number one, huh? Well I'm glad the transparency is across the board.

HELP ME!

ok.

[ALL STRAINING]

I... don't... want... to-

-argue anymore! PLEASE! It's not worth it!

Well maybe it is.

Especially when some people have had a bad history of protecting eggs.

[GASP]

I CAN'T TAKE IT!

[MELTS]

Well the only one who will need protecting... is you!

At the VOTE TONIGHT-!

Ayayay!

[ALL STRAINING]

- Oh come on!

ALL: Ah!

[ALL GASP]

BOX!!!

Nooooooo!!!

[GASPS]

Everybody stop the challenge! Medical! Medical!

Ohh... NOW he's watching.

YIN: Huh?

Stay down... uh... egg...

You don't want to see this...

YIN: Yes! I'm an egg.

He's not breathing! Does anyone know CPR?

Huh... suddenly I feel... EXTREMELY needed.

Yeah right.

We need the on-site doctor! Stat!

Wait, we've had an on-site doctor this entire time?

Oh, absolutely.

Everyone, please remain calm.

I'm going to go ahead and check his vitals.

YANG: I am not worthy!

YANG: Oh Dr. Fizz! Your Bubblyness!

Sir, I'm going to need-

YANG: Oh Dr. Fizz. Bless your soul!

[BLINK]

I'm going to need you all to step back immediately so I can determine a diagnosis.

So what's the update, Doc? How's he looking?

Unfortunately, the trauma Box has experienced during the fall is preventing him from getting proper oxygen

and we're going to need to undergo more extensive treatment off of the island.

So to be clear, you are pulling Box from the game.

I think the risk is too great to keep him here in this state,

that is correct.

[ALL GASP]

We are so so sorry Box, for our mishandling of the situation.

Box spared his own life to save Clover!

The hammer was headed straight towards her head!

He's truly a hero...

And it's all my fault...

... and Cabby's.

CLOVER?!

I knew it! What's lucky for her is painful for a-

AHH!!!

WAH! DOCTOR!

You're fine.

CLOVER: Maybe Cabby was right... I do have a gift...

but if so, I never considered the effect it could have...

... on others.

That hammer was meant for me.

[GASP]

Maybe it's a curse?!

With everything going on... I just wanted to

apologiiii- EGH.

[COUGHS]

Uh, sorry, I'm trying to.

Nickel, I really appreciate the gesture, but...

you don't need to do this.

Yeah, no. I wanna hear him say it.

[MURMURS] I'm sorry.

What? What's that, hun?

I'M SORRY! [COUGHS]

Ugh, my mouth feels numb.

There there.

I shouldn't have been so territorial over Box or- or made you guys feel undervalued

even if it was kind of enjoyable, to be honest.

It did the one thing I was trying to avoid.

Eh, I could've been more respectful myself.

Wah!

Oh my gosh.

He ate my food!

BOX ATE MY FOOD!

Do you guys see that? Haha!

He ate it all! [LAUGHS]

Yeah, the relationship with Box was all strategy...

But FINALLY! Someone appreciates my efforts.

[SNIFFLES]

And for that... I will always appreciate him...

Oh my goodness... these deviled eggs!

Mmm...

Nobody will hold me back anymore!

Muahahahahahahahahaha-!!

Oh.

Jeez, and I thought I was the fat slob.

Anyways, after an intense medical evacuation of the biggest threat in the game

How will the game shake-up next? Find out next time on

Inanimate Insanity Invitational.

CABBY: Adamation!

OH MY GOD THAT WAS SO BRUTAL!!!

But you know what's not so brutal?

Your ability to vote to save one contestant on every team.

Yov've got three options this time around you've got The Sinkers, The Pinkers and The Thinkers.

You can vote for one member of each team to receive immunity

and that player will be immune from being voted out in the next episode.

Just go to inanimateinsanity.com/vote

select the contestant you want to be safe and just hit that button.

I hope you guys enjoyed watching this episode more than Box had experiencing it

and I hope you have a lovely day.