Let Er' R.I.P./Transcript

(Scene: Test Tube is looking through a telescope as Fan walks up)

Test Tube: Oh, hey! Are you here to see the waning crescent out tonight?

Fan: ...The what?

Test Tube: The old moon phase, of course! Looks small from here, but it actually has a diameter of 3,747 kilometers across!

Fan: It's huge, but from this angle it looks small... just like me on this show. I feel like nobody really notices me here. I've never been the best at making friends.

Test Tube: Yeah, I'm a teensy weensy bit awkward, too. Huya huya huya huya...

(cut to Marshmallow and Paintbrush diving into a bush, as Apple runs onscreen)

Apple: Marshmallow, where are you? It's nearly 8 o' clock! We haven't finished our finger painting session yet! AAAAAAAHHHHH!! (runs off)

Marshmallow: Phew! I think I lost her. Thanks for helping me ditch Apple.

Paintbrush: Well, it's nice to know that someone on the team is bright enough to still appreciate me.

Marshmallow: It's just so annoying that Apple doesn't even care about Bow! I feel so guilty.

Paintbrush: Don't worry. You were just trying to save MePhone in the finale. I'm sure Bow would have understood.

Test Tube: Guess we aren't the only troubled ones here.

(MePhone5S then teleports in, sending Marshmallow through the air)

Marshmallow: AAAAAAHH! (lands near Apple)

Apple: Marsh! Thank goodness I found you! We're late for our finger paint session! (drags Marshmallow with her)

Marshmallow: So... close...

MePhone5S: (walks up to Fan and Test Tube) Hello, peasants. I am the wonderful-

Test Tube: MePhone5S? With the new M7 chip, and retina display? WOWWIE!

MePhone5C: (teleports in) And I'm the beautiful new MePhone5C, the most colorful beauty in existence. I'm made of plastic. Neat, huh?

Fan: Yeah, that's really... something.

MePhone5S: Honey, please. You know how women can be so energetic.

MePhone5C: How could you talk down to me like that? Am I worth nothing to you?

MePhone5S: You're right. I'm sorry for being egotistical. Just remember to stick to the plan.

MePhone5C: Right, the plan! We must kill the inferior MePho-

MePhone5S: SHUT UP, DARLING! It's a secret! (clears throat) Anyway, yeah... Do you know where he might be?

Fan: Oh, um...(whispers to Test Tube) We'll take care of that. (clears throat) Uh, so, guys, you- you actually just missed him!

Test Tube: Oh yes! Indeed! He's right near that cliff over there!

MePhone5C: Thanks for the help, darling! (she and 5S teleport to the cliff)

MePhone5S: I'm having trouble detecting him. Maybe my fingerprint scanner can help. (presses button, then starts to jump around jerkily)

MePhone5C: Oh, my! So advanced! So dreamy!

Fan: Not sure what you're doing, but in the real world, we look with OUR EYES!

MePhone5S: Honey, would you mind going down there and checking it out?

MePhone5C: Sure, babycakes! Meeple Maps says to fly straight down! (bumps into 5S, causing them both to fall)

MePhone5S and MePhone5C: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! (splash into water, cough, and explode)

Fan: ...Oh. That was easier than I thought.

Test Tube: It's like they get less intelligent every generation. Hmm... huh.

Marshmallow: (running from Apple) AAAAAHH!

Apple: Where are you going, Marshmallow?! What about the FINGER PAINTS?! (runs off screaming)

(Intro plays)

MePhone4: Today, because of the spooky setting for this episode, I got Halloween-themed pumpkins. And they're really heavy!

Test Tube: Um, it's not Halloween.

MePad: You are off by over a month, sir.

MePhone4: Close enough. Anyway, pumpkins go to Marshmallow, Test Tube, Apple, and Fan.

(Fan's pumpkin splatters in his face)

Apple: Wow, Marsh! We're both safe! (starts hugging Marshmallow) We have so much in common, ha ha!

Marshmallow: Can you please stop strangling me, Raaah!

MePhone4: We're down to our bottom three. I can't say I'm surprised. You guys are pretty annoying.

Yin-Yang: (Yang) Shut up! (grabs torch and runs up to MePhone)

MePhone4: SECURITY!

Toilet: (blocks Yin-Yang with toilet water, sending him back to elimination bleachers) Don't worry, sir! I got your back! I WOULD NEVER LET ANYONE HURT YOU!

MePhone4: Ugh, you're spitting on me! Get outta here! (Toilet dashes off) Anyway, Lightbulb is safe.

(Lightbulb hits pumpkin mid-flight, causing it to splatter)

MePhone4: Paintbrush and Yin-Yang, you are our bottom two. I wonder who's gonna go; you know the viewers just love the new characters.

Yin-Yang: (Yin) Water! (Yang) Dr. Fizz! (Yin) Water! (Yang) Dr. Fizz! (the two begin hitting each other)

Paintbrush: ...Really?

(MePad shows votes, [Paintbrush: 946, Yin-Yang: 1859] revealing Yin-Yang is eliminated)

Paintbrush: (victory music) YES! Whoah! (dodges pumpkin)

Yin-Yang: (Yin) Huh? No! (Yang) Oho! I'm so glad. (Yin) I'm sorry for all the trouble- (Yang) NO! SHUT UP! (two begin fighting, eventually tumbling into the Rejection Portal)

Lightbulb: You hear about this sort of thing in the paper, but you never think it's gonna happen to you...

(screen goes black for a second)

MePhone4: Well guys, to celebrate the Halloween special-

Baseball: Dude, it's not Halloween.

MePhone4: Perhaps if I set the mood. (MePad plays scary music [Super-Duper-Mega-Whopper Scary Tune #483 to be specific])

Nickel: Yeah, still not working for ya.

MePhone4: Well, for this spine-chilling episode, you're all going into a haunted house. (MePad begins playing music again) Okay, MePad, I get it!

MePad: My apologies, sir.

Toilet: Oh my gosh! You're the worst assistant ever, MePad!!

MePhone4: And, whoever can stay inside the longest without running out screaming their heads off wins for their team.

Microphone: There can't be anything that scary in there. And besides, since when did I even get here? I've never seen it before!

MePhone4: Like it matters. Everyone just go in, if you dare!

Suitcase: Oh, great. I don't think I'm gonna like this challenge.

Nickel: Pfft. Why? You're not gonna get scared, are you?

Suitcase: Well, uh... pfft, of course not, heh.

Nickel: Oh, sorry. I just assumed because I thought you were a complete wimp!

Suitcase: (gives an angry look at Nickel) Huh...

Soap: You know, team, I've actually been feeling a lot better about myself. Give or take a few months ago, I would scream at every cluster of dirt I saw, but now I feel like I'm finally getting over it. (spots web in front of house door) AAAAAAAH! It's a cobweb!!! (runs toward it to clean it up)

Microphone: Typical. I'll have to use a little more self restraint to win this challenge.

Baseball: Microphone, it's not about you! It's about winning as a team! Together! So, whatever you guys do, don't split- (most of the Grand Slams run off) ...up. Augh!

Balloon: Well, I guess we'll go together, then!

Suitcase: Yay!

Baseball and Nickel: Yaaay...

(scene cuts to inside house)

Apple: Oh, Marshmallow! Are you scared? (grabs Marshmallow)

Marshmallow: Why do you keep clinging on to me like that?

Apple: I don't want you to get hurt, is all!

Marshmallow: I'm sure if you just let go of me for a minute, then nothing bad would happen.

Apple: Well, okay. (lets go of Marshmallow)

Marshmallow: (lands on wooden floor) See? (a spiked ball similar to the one from Marsh on Mars falls between Apple and Marshmallow, separating them)

Apple: Agh! No, Marshmallow!

Marshmallow: Finally, I'm free! But I gotta hide fast! (runs off)

Apple: No, don't go!

(Marshmallow hides in a door with a floral pattern, with Apple running by soon after)

Apple: Where'd you go, Marshmallow?! Where are you going? AAAAH!

Marshmallow: Finally, it's over! I'm alone.

(scene pans across room; as a jack-in-the-box winds up by itself, eventually releasing Bow's ghost)

Ghost Bow: [roaring]

Marshmallow: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! (falls to floor)

Ghost Bow: Aahahaha! Oh, I got you good, ahahaha! Look at you, you walked into the room, and ahahahaha! Haha, heh, whoo! Marshmallow? ...Hello? (takes picture of paralyzed Marshmallow and starts to post it on Instagram) I'm so gonna share this.

(Marshmallow gets up)

Bow: Which filter do you think works best?

Marshmallow: ...Try a blue one.

Bow: Ooh, that does look good! Posting it now!

Marshmallow: Yeah! W-wait, Bow?! I can't believe it! You're a ghost!

Bow: Oh yeah, that. Cool, right? I have a tail!

Marshmallow: What happened to you? I thought you were dead!

Bow: Oh, I am. This is just what happens when objects die forever! Their spirits become trapped here in Purgatory Mansion. It's cool and all, but the cell service here sucks...

Marshmallow: So when you died in the finale, your soul has been here all along?

Bow: Pretty much!

Marshmallow: Well, I thought you'd be mad at me.

Bow: Um, for what?

Marshmallow: Well, y'know, I kinda put you in a box and made you turn evil and made you kill yourself?

Bow: (starts to turn feral, but quickly turns back) But I have a tail, YAY! And it's all thanks to you! So anyway, what are you doing here in this dump?

Marshmallow: Well, we're on Season 2 of Inanimate Insanity, and-

Bow: Ugh, that show is still going on? When will it end?

Marshmallow: Well, uh, the challenge is to scare people out of the mansion.

Bow: Oh, pfft... I could do that in, like, two seconds! Maybe three... I'll take care of that for ya!

Marshmallow: Really? Even after I killed you?

Bow: I. Have. A tail.

Marshmallow: Yeah, yeah, right, the tail. Cool. Let's get this over with, then.

(scene cuts to another part of the mansion)

Nickel: Ooooh... This is the perfect outlet to tell some of my ghost stories! Ahahahahaha... AHA!

Suitcase: I... never saw you as the ghost story type.

Baseball: Oh, he is.

Nickel: Come on, Baseball! You gotta get into that Halloween spirit!

Baseball: It's NOT Halloween!

Nickel: (torches light up behind him) It was a dark and stormy night...

Suitcase and Balloon: AAAHH! (dash off)

Nickel: Hey, I barely said anything! Well, at least I can tell you, Baseball.

Baseball: Yeah, I'll pass on that.

Nickel: Man, you really know how to enjoy yourself!

(Cut to another part of the house, with Suitcase and Balloon against a wall)

Knife: Hey guys. You two look like you just saw a ghost!

Suitcase: Ghost!? What?!

Knife: (chuckles) I'm just messing with you guys

Balloon: Oh, come on!

Suitcase: Knife, the challenge is to NOT be scared!

Knife: Oh, don't trust me? Okay. I'll leave you alone with the person that was just so trustworthy last season! (chuckles) Well, I guess it's just you and me now, Dora.

Bow: Like, eww. He still carries that thing around? Lame. (flies into Dora Doll, making it float and turn pink)

Knife: What the heck? Who's doing this?

Marshmallow (off-screen): It's someone you used to constantly bully...

Knife: That doesn't really narrow it down.

Bow: (turns Dora doll red with black aura)

Dora Doll: (in deep voice) Adiós (translation: Bye). (rips doll into pieces)

Knife: No! No! (begins getting dragged by Bow) NAAAAAAAAAAUGH! (gets tossed out of house) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! (lands on blade) (Cut to Cheesy and Microphone walking together)

Cheesy: So then I said, "That's not my wife, that's a vampire!" (Slaps his knee, while jumping up)

Microphone: Come on Cheesy. I'm trying to save my reputation! Why is it so hard for me not to do something wrong?

Cheesy: I'm not sure you can avoid that. You know what they say. The past speaks... ''volumes! ''

Microphone: I'M NOT THAT LOUD! (Echoes)

(Cut to Bow and Marshmallow standing nearby)

Bow: Argh! (Flies to Microphone) Ow, like, ow! Seriously?! THIS is how you scream! (She starts to Inhale and she roars so loud that it sends Microphone flying out of mansion window)

Cheesy: (Walks by Marshmallow and Bow) Wow, seems like your having a ghoul night! Heh, heh. (Slaps his knee)

Bow: Ugh, that wasn't even funny.

Cheesy: (Zooms back) Uh? UH!? What did you just say!? That was not cool, girl! Why I oughta- (Flies through a motionless Bow and crashes through the window He blinks and looks down) AAAAAHHH!

(Cut to another part in the house)

Test Tube: I still don't get it. What's with Paintbrush and Lightbulb always fighting all the time?

Fan: Well, Lightbulb isn't the best leader, but her goofiness makes her popular. And Paintbrush wants the best for the team, but he's acting like a big jerk.

Test Tube: He? I always thought Paintbrush was a girl!

Fan: Oh, don't get me started on that one.

Bow: Ugh, OMG! Why is everyone being so boring and nice!? (flies into desk, making it float)

Fan: Oh, please, that's probably just some loose strings or something.

Test Tube: Child's play. Gravity would never allow such a catastrophic event.

Bow: (flies out of table and possesses chair, making it explode)

Fan: Ugh, give it up, MePhone! The chair was obviously alive and killed itself.

Test Tube: How fallacious. There's obviously some gravity-bending black hole nearby!

Bow: (poofs in) UGH! You guys are such nerds, OMG!

Fan: AACK! (runs away and crashes through window) Aaaaaagh! (hits ground)

Test Tube: Fascinating, a ghost! But, wait. A ghost! That means... I was wrong. And if I'm wrong now, then it's quite possible... that everything I've ever studied has been false! I... I can't believe it... how...I ...why... WHYAHUUOOU- (shatters)

Bow: Umm, uh... okay.

(cut to Paintbrush and Lightbulb in hallway)

Paintbrush: Whoah! Oh, it's you. Are you here to send me to the Calm Down Corner again?

Lightbulb: Painty, it was just one corner, come on! I mean, it wouldn't be that bright to get real uptight, we're in a creepy crazy mansion, and fans got a lot of fright! Word!

Paintbrush: Right. And speaking of bright, it's so dark in here! I can't see anything!

Lightbulb: I'm the sharpest bulb in the shed! I got this.

Bow: (chuckles, and goes to scare Lightbulb, but Lightbulb turns herself on, throwing her away) AGH! IT BURNS!

Paintbrush: Wow, that's really handy of you! Uh, I mean, uh, g-good job, or... whatever.

Bow: Oh no you didn't! (flies inside of Paintbrushes bristles)

Paintbrush: Ow! Hey, what's going on? OW!

Lightbulb: Painty, you're flying! Wow, somebody bribed the animator right here.

Paintbrush: I'm not doing this -OW! - on purpose! OW!

Lightbulb: (jumps onto Paintbrush) I gotcha! We can be flying buddies! (Bow tosses both out window)

Paintbrush and Lightbulb: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!

(Cut to Balloon and Suitcase)

Balloon: Ugh! Nickel's story scared the helium out of me! Why is he trying to mess with us?

Suitcase: I'm not so sure he's the one messing with us... What about you? You tried to manipulate everyone last season!

Balloon: Oh, come on! I was horrible at that. How could I be managing this?

Suitcase: Then why did you try last season?

Balloon: Because... I thought that's how you win in a reality show like this! It's not who I really am, I swear! I've always been paranoid of what you all think about me, alright?

Suitcase: I... I'm sorry. I believe you. Well, I'll always be by your side.

Bow: (pops in) Ugh! Boring! (flies into Balloon, popping him)

Suitcase: Well of course, why would I stop feeling scared? AAAAAAH! (crashes through window)

(cut to Marshmallow and Bow in hallway)

Marshmallow: It's not that I hate Apple or anything. I'm glad we're friends and all.

Bow: Uh-huh. OMG, it's crazy.

Marshmallow: I just can't stand her!

Bow: Uh-huh.

Marshmallow: I just... (turns to Bow) Are you even listening?

Bow: Ugh, excuse me! A little respect for the DEAD! Anyway, what about you and Pomegranate?

Marshmallow: I'm glad we've settled our differences. We're good friends now, but sometimes, I wish she could just leave me alone.

Bow: Oh, um... just need to get some more cell service over here! BRB! (poofs away)

Marshmallow: (sighs)

Apple: Yes! I'm so glad Marshmallow is gone! Now I can enjoy myself! Haha!

Marshmallow: Apple?

Apple: After all, I AM just using her vote to get farther in the game.

Marshmallow: (gasp) You big jerk! I can't believe you've been using me!

Apple: But, Marshmallow! I was just kidding! It was a big joke! Ha. Ha.

Marshmallow: You were by yourself! I can't believe I was ever friends with you. Bow, take care of her! ...Bow? Hello?

Apple: (pink aura surrounds her, and throws her out of the house) Aaaaaaaah!

Marshmallow: Serves her right.

(cut to Baseball and Nickel)

Nickel: Help. I'm being possessed. Ooooow.

Baseball: Yeah, right. You're making a fool out of yourself.

Nickel: Fine.

Bow: Okay, that is not what you look like when you're possessed. (flies into Baseball, possessing him)

Nickel: Ahhh, Halloween, it's pretty funny seeing everyone psych themselves out. It's pathetic, really. Good thing I don't have to worry about that. *bumps into Baseball* Um, can you move, please? (Baseball turns around, making a weird face) Um...

Possessed Baseball: (inhales) RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR!!!!!!!!!

(Nickel and Baseball crash through a window out of the mansion)

Baseball: What? How did we get here?

Nickel: Oh. My. Gosh. THAT WAS AMAZING! I can't believe that you actually scared me!

Baseball: What are you talking about?

Nickel: Oh, scary and modest? Baseball, it's times like these that I realize why we're true friends. (goes away)

Baseball: What?

Marshmallow: Bow? Did you scare everyone out of the mansion? That means I win!

Bow: Yay!

Soap: Ahh! It's a cobweb!

Bow: Expect her.

Soap: Okay, I think I got all dust bunnies, except (gasps) YOU! (the vaccum sucks the dust)

Bow: ROAAAR! (the vacuum's loudness makes Soap unable to hear her) Um, hello? (the vaccum sucks Bow)

Soap: Oh, oopsies.

Marshmallow: You, YOU MONSTER! Did you just kill my friend?!

Soap: Sorry, but did you see that cobweb? We've got bigger problems on our hands.

Marshmallow: I didn't let Bow scare 12 people out of here for nothing! YOU'RE GOING DOWN! (runs to Soap, but the vaccum almost sucks her)

Soap: Uh oh, ahh...

Marshmallow: Hey, let go of me!

Soap: (sets the vacuum to reverse, blowing Marshmallow out of the mansion)

Marshmallow: Ahh!

Soap: Sorry again, but... Yay! I win! (claps)

MePhone4: And it looks like the Grand Slams win again! And the 6 Bright Lights will have to face elimination! So who's going home?

(credits)

(Bow escapes out of the vacuum and Dough appears as a ghost)

Bow: Who are you?

(Episode ends)

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