Best Served Cold/Transcript

Goo: Or?...

Bow: Uh?...

[CABBY LAUGHS]

Cabby: Told you they wouldn't get it.

Candle: Now now...

Your aura is a spiritual luminous energy...

...that comes from your being. For example:

Goo, your aura is a vibrant yellow.

Goo: Oooh!~

Candle: You are full of hope and creativity, even if often from a...

...a confusing source.

But nonetheless you ARE a source of positivity.

Goo: Now that's a win for the

- Cheer Factory!

Bow: Cheer Factory! Yesss!

Candle: But...

Your aura also shares your faults...

...for you are cautious, Goo.

Frail. Nervous. And fearful of unknown troubles.

[GOO WHIMPERS]

[CABBY LAUGHS]

Cabby (in the CDC): I didn't know if I should trust this "aura" idea.

But wow is it accurate!

Plus it's JUICY and color coded!

I can't resist that.

[GOO WHIMPERS MORE]

Bow: Haha! Now do me! Do me!

The Floor: Hey guys.

[GOO SCREAMS GROSSLY]

Cabby: Wow. That was the worst noise I've ever heard.

[ALL LAUGH]

Bow: Oh you got scared. That was funny.

MePhone4 (in the CDC): Everyone's been getting along so well lately!

This ends now.

Hey hey hey! What is this!?

I do NOT approve of small business growing on my otherwise free land.

The Floor: What did he call me?

Cabby: Relax MePhone! Candle's just doing some very informative aura readings.

Candle: He wouldn't get it.

Cabby: It's actually quite amusing if you'd like a laugh!

You look like you need one.

Hm?

MePhone4: Of course!

CABBY & CANDLE: Hmm?

MePhone4: The answer's been right in front of me all along!

[DING]

It's time "U" teams...

...DISARRANGE!

A.

Everyone: A!

[INTRO PLAYS]

1, 2, 3, GO!

[🎵]

MePhone4: Gather round! Becuase it's time your LONG lasting friendships say SO LONG! Using this list provided by Cabby, I'll use your strengths and weaknesses, specifically the latter, to form TWO NEW TEAMS!

[ALL GASP]

The Floor: Haha... whaaaat??

Balloon: But I like my team! Even if it's... just two people.

MePhone4: Well then it's time The Sinkers sunk for good!

Bye forever!!

[>:D]

Balloon: NOOO!!! CASA DE GLOBO!!!

Nickel: UM? I thought we agreed on... Nickeltopolis?

[HILARIOUSLY COMEDIC SHUFFLING NOISES]

MePhone4: My lovely viewers, I have the absolute pleasure to introduce you to...

The NEW Pinkers!

[♪ PINKERS TUNE ♪]

Silver Spoon: D-ew! This is awful!

Tall One, I'm feeling sad. Be a dear and cry for me.

Paintbrush: UGH. Of COURSE! I'm still stuck with-

- Oh, hey Test Tube.

Test Tube: Oh hiiiii!! :)

[MORE HILARIOUSLY COMEDIC SHUFFLING NOISES]

MePhone4: And now, introducing...

The NEW Thinkers!

[♪ THINKERS TUNE ♪]

[YANG LAUGHS]

Yang: Oh this is FUUUN!

More shorties.

[YANG LAUGHS MORE]

Goo (in the CDC): Sigh... I guess the Cheer Factory has become the...

Cheer LLC...

Nickel: Dude, how is this better? I hate this team!

MePhone4: I know Nickel... that's WHY it's better.

Nickel: Ugh... man, really?

[e̶]

OH OKAY GREAT COOL AWESOME.

Clover: Wow hi! Nice to see you too!

[CLOVER LAUGHS]

MePhone4: It was all Cabby's idea everyone.

Judge her accordingly.

Cabby: Are you kidding me?

MePhone4: Ugh... that was tough work...

I'm feeling huuuungryyy!

I'm really in the mood for...

Paintbrush: Pizza!

Balloon: Cupcakes!

Silver Spoon: Beignets!

Cabby: Cookies obviously.

Candle: Coconut caramel crisps?

Goo: A healthy salad!

Yin: Water!

Yang: Dr. Fizz!

Clover: Uh... Mile High Pie?

[ALL SCREAM]

MePhone4: Clover.

You nailed it! I DO wanna Mile High Pie.

And that's today's challenge: Make me a MILE! HIGH! PIE!

Utilizing the Pic-Nix Tables, both teams will generate their ingredients and stack a pie out of ice cream that is EXACTLY a mile high.

The look must be... EXQUISITE.

The height... ACCURATE.

And the flavor... DECADENT.

The Floor: Uh hey? Down here?

Yeah, uh, why not just make a Mile High Pie using the Pic-Nix Tables?

MePhone4: BeCAUSE,

the Pic-Nix Table can only generate a HALF Mile High Pie.

Doesn't even come close!

Nickel: Hm, well maybe I can uh, heh, GET CLOSE to that table.

See what I could do over there.

MePhone4: Oh yeah? Don't think so! Remember Nickel, you're...

BANNED FOR LIFE.

And don't let me down on this one because I've EARNED a FULL Mile High Pie!

Go!

Goo: Hellooooo Newww Thinkers!

As the Cheer LLC of our handsome new team...

I'd like to propose we start with a group Hoo! Ray!

Candle: What a positively yellow idea...

Hoo... ray...

Goo: Nonono! Togeeeether!

Eeeeveryone ready?

ALL EXCEPT NICKEL: HOO! RAY!

Nickel (in the CDC): Y'know, it's incredible.

I don't like a single one of 'em.

Goo: RUH ROH!

It seems like little ol' Nickel didn't receive the company newsletter!

Let's do...

ONE! MORE! CHEER!

HOOOOOO-!

Nickel: NOPE send me a postcard I've got better things to do bye!

Goo: Aw.

Candle: Now that the hoorays have been hoorah'd...

...perhaps it'd be best to start the challenge.

Silver Spoon: Keep stacking that sticky stuff!

Your royal advisor commands you forth!

[PAINTBRUSH GRUMBLES]

Sliver Spoon: Ah, yes, Balloon. You're in charge of the... erm...

crust! ...That goes to the bottom...

B-ew!~

Off you go, Little Sinker.

Balloon: Happy to help.

Cabby: First MePhone pulled that stunt and passed ME the blame then I lost most of my teammates!

But... at least Test Tube is with me...

(now in the CDC) She's a valuable mind and...

...hey I just wanna make things right with her.

(now out of the CDC) Hey Test Tube. Do you think you can help me?

Test Tube: You... need MY help?

Cabby: You're a brilliant mind Test Tube and I'm sorry I discredited your intelligence.

We've both had some... bad... history...

But I'd like to rewrite our history!

One where the two of us combine our skills!

Test Tube: Huh. Wow... I um...

Cabby: I know, I know, but...

Look I like you. And if we can work it out we can make it far... together.

I promise, for the sake of the game...

Smart Alliance?

Test Tube: Yeah.

Yeah okay! We've both been pretty...

petty...

...but! I think we can make this work!

Paintbrush: Ugh ew! There is ice cream IN MY BRISTLES!

Silver Spoon: Keep it up, Tall One!

You're FINALLY coming in handy!

Cabby: What's mine is yours... watch this...

Tell me, Test Tube, between Silver and Painty,

who IS the taller one?

Test Tube: Uh...

Says here it's Silver.

Paintbrush: >:(

Silver Spoon: But of course! Thank you, Smart Ones, no bad hairdo needed here.

Paintbrush: WHAT?!

Silver Spoon: Hush now, Lesser-Tall One.

Cabby: So Silver, now that we've established YOU'RE the tallest, wouldn't it make the most sense for YOU to be stacking the ice cream?

Silver Spoon :O

Silver Spoon: Wha- no! That's... absurd!

Paintbrush (in the CDC): Back on The Thinkers, it really seemed like Silver was getting better... But now? Ugh... He's just a royal pain in my-

Silver Spoon: AS you can see, I'M the Royal Advisory, Cabby.

Begone you Chariot of Knowledge! Shoo!

[CABBY LAUGHS] Cabby: Oookay Silver...

Test Tube: What was that about?

Cabby: A simple head game.

Silver's lazy and careless and if we accentuate his weakness the team will have an easy choice to pick off.

Or he'll double down and mess things up himself!

It's all about playing with the information, Test Tube.

You'll learn that eventually...

Bow: So listen, I'M the Pink One. Got it?

Balloon: Look I'm more of a salmon, okay?

Bow: Fish.

Cabby: Bow there you are!

I need you to build us a second ladder using your c̵͉̐͐̕h̴͕͗ȧ̶̼̑̀i̴̢͉͊r̴̹̯͔̿͂ș̷̰̏͜

We could get Silver up there and DOUBLE our productivity!

Bow: Uh...

Silver Spoon: Ugggh, fine!

But make them ROYAL c̶̜̮̍̂͆̈́h̵̠̪̙̭̽͂̿̔a̶̼͛i̴̤̘̣̓͗ř̸̲͇ͅs̵̢͎̟͒̈́͌͘

I can't be seen sitting on PEASENT c̷̦͖͕̟̭̋̅̿h̸̥̻̃ā̷͇̼̬̦͒̌ị̶̧̋ṛ̶̓̽̐͝š̷̝͝

Bow: OW! Ah... ow...

Test Tube: HEY CABBY!

Uh, why don't you run things over here while I take um...

Bow to get some more ice cream!

I could gather some... intel?

Cabby: CAPITAL IDEA!

This one's been a real head scratcher...

...literally.

Do let me in on what you find.

Nickel: Come on you stupid hunk of... whatever you're made of.

MILE HIGH PIE!

Rgh!

Welp that's all I've got.

Ah!

[DING]

Test Tube: You just cool off...

She's been having a bad day...

Nickel: Welcome to my life.

First my alliance, then my team, and NOW, this mashuguna table is broken!

Test Tube: I thought you were banned?

Well, maybe I can help you out of this pickle!

Hey I'm... sorry about that whole Box tragedy.

I can't fix what happened.

There's only so many problems that can be solved with simple equations, but there's so many more that have impossible, unspeakable solutions.

But, I wanna solve them anyway.

Nickel: Well hey, hack this table and I'll consider it even.

Test Tube: So um, you liking your new team?

Nickel: HA! No.

As far as I'm concerned, they're my enemies. Heh, at best.

But y'know what they say about keeping your enemies close...

They'll... eventually start to change you...

Test Tube: Well that should do it! The ban is lifted!

Oh uh, while I'm at it, STRAWBERRY ICE CREAM!

Bow: OMG the best kind!

Nickel: Thanks, and, hey, do me another favor will ya?

Just, would you look after Balloon?

Test Tube: Sure but, I-I thought you two hated each other.

Nickel: Well... not anymore.

Alright, here we go!

MILE HIGH PIE!

Clover: Um guys?... this pie is waaaaay too high!

Candle: Wondrous coordination, Yin-Yang.

Remember, chocolate THEN vanilla. Then chocolate. Then vanilla. Then chocolate. Then vanilla. Then chocolate, then vanilla. Then chocolate, then vanilla. Then chocolate, then vanilla. Then chocolate-

Goo: But Candle!? We haven't made a Mile High Pie... we've made a...

TWO MILE HIGH PIE!!!

[GOO SCREAMS]

Cabby (in the CDC): Like listening to a road accident.

OH, now THAT'S a good analogy!

[CABBY LAUGHS]

The Floor: Don't worry team!

The Floor: [Epicly consumes the Two Mile High Pie]

[CABBY LAUGHS AGAIN]

[CLEARS THROAT]

Cabby: Balloon, I've been...

..."royally advised" to check on the status of the cru-

Uh!?

WHAT!?

Balloon: I know, I know the recipe said "flower", but I thought "oh maybe one was too few?"...so I got flowERS!

Silver Spoon: Goodness! It seems someone here has been dreadfully incompetent...

I just hope it wasn't me.

Test Tube: Hey, heh, everything all right?

Cabby: Hm? Oh, Balloon has a history of being accident prone, especially in flower-related situations.

But he's consistently immune from elimination...

We shouldn't waste our votes on him even if he made the world come crashing down!

Test Tube: Do Cabby and I agree on everything? Of course not.

Not even Fan and I agreed on everything.

(now in the CDC) But, I wish there was just ONE thing.

Then, maybe it wouldn't... be a problem. (then out of the CDC)

The Floor: [SWALLOWS]

The Floor: Problem solved.

Goo: You ate too much!! Now we only have a Half Mile High Pie!!

What do we doooooo?!?

Nickel: I say we put two and two together!

Incoming! Huah!

[CLOVER SCREAMS]

Goo: Wha?

[CLOVER SCREAMS]

Goo: Squish!

Clover: Ah!

Goo: Yay!

Clover: Oh no! I'm so sorry!

I didn't mean for you to get all wrapped up in my curse!

Goo: Whaddya mean? I WANTED to save you Clover!

Clover: Did you really mean to save me? Or did my curse compel you?

I'm not sure you have free will in the situation, Goo...

You just think you do.

Candle: She's right.

Goo: O_O

Goo: OKAY COOL YOU'RE WELCOME I GUESS

Silver Spoon: My... from up here Paintbrush, your messy work looks only half as bad!

[PAINTBRUSH ANGRILY GRUMBLES]

Balloon: I think it looks pretty good.

Silver Spoon: That's what I said...?

I hereby decree your disgusting tower of goop...

ROYALLLY EDIBLE!

Time to add the m̷̙̞̄ä̷̲̹͙͝͠ȓ̷͇̍̓ş̴̢̎h̵͚́m̸̰͉̎͋ä̷̙̈l̶̳̠̚l̸̝͑ö̵̩̀͘ẅ̴̛́̃͜ topping.

Balloon: Thought you could use this since you're uh...

...all sticky...

[PAINTBRUSH SCREAMS]

Silver Spoon: Ai ai ai woh ah!

Ahhhh!!!

Oh hello!~

Crazy what I'm doing right now, eh?

You're probably wondering how-

Paintbrush: GRRRRRR-oh-

[PAINTBRUSH LAUGHS]

MePhone4: I can only assume that the sound of illegal explosions and legalized laughter means that your pies are ready.

JUDGEMENT TIME!

First up, New Pinkers.

While I appreciate you providing me with a large eating utensil, this pie is sadly NOT a mile high.

And your crust is made of... uh... flowers??

Next, New Thinkers!

Looking nice- but wait a sec...

is this just... two half mile high pies... stacked on top of each other?

Nickel: No.

MePhone4: Okay. I trust you Nickel. Always so honest.

Thinkers, you win! Pinkers, you're up for elimination!

Paintbrush (in the CDC): Geez I really lost it again...

I might be in for it tonight... but hey, it was worth it to see, heh... Silver... GET HIS FACE STUCK IN THE PIE! HAHAHAHA!!!

Silver Spoon (in the CDC): I have no royal comment at this time.

Cabby: Alright, we should aim for Silver.

Paintbrush messed us up pretty bad, but... I know you two are close.

It says so in your file! Heheheh! No need to thank me.

Test Tube: So Silver's the obvious pick then... let's do it.

Cabby: Figures, won't miss him. Okay, let's do this together.

I'll go press the button, I need you to use this information and convince the others.

Can I trust you to do that?

Test Tube: For sure, um... but, wait... what about your files?

Cabby: You can hold onto them!

You've proven to have some great insight of your own and I value that a lot, Test Tube.

MePhone4: Before we get into this exciting elimination...

...is there anything anyone would like to say?

Balloon: [SIGHS] I'm sorry I messed things up you guys. I-

MePhone4: Yeah yeah Balloon, you got immunity... again.

Hooray, your mistakes don't matter.

But... how will everyone elses?

Let's find out.

First vote... Cabby.

Silver Spoon.

One vote Cabby. One vote Silver.

Cabby.

Two votes Cabby.

Cabby.

That's three votes Cabby. One vote Silver.

And the seventh contestant voted out is...

Test Tube (in the CDC): If I didn't solve the problem...

...then who would?

MePhone4: Cabby.

Cabby: You did this...

Test Tube: Look, b-before you-

Cabby: We could've gone so far...

WHY?

Test Tube: Why? We know what you've been writing, Cabby!

About all of our flaws! Just so you can take us down!

Paintbrush: I do NOT obsess over my hair!

Hoh?

Bow: And you, like, said I was dead! But you got the pink part right so, Eh.

Balloon: And I'm NOT pink! I'm SALMON!!!!

Silver Spoon: You say I "never lift a finger"?

Well, I have quite the finger for you, dear.

(No it's not the middle finger it's the thumbs down you can stop being scared of II being 13+ now)

Cabby: You've got it all wrong, Test Tube! I-

I like you... I-...

I can't believe you did this...

Test Tube: Because you expect everyone to act exactly how you write them to be.

Silver Spoon: You never know what someone will do under pressure.

Test Tube: Sure, right now I'm a convenient ally but tomorrow I might not be so convenient and I'll be next! Right!?

That's what you did to Fan! That's what you'd do to them!

To me!

Cabby: That was not my intention! It's...

to keep history... YOUR history!...

...alive...

Test Tube: Well, now YOU'RE history.

Cabby: Not yet. I need more answers.

YOUR ANSWERS. (talking to Bow)

How are you alive? Why are you here?

WHAT ARE YOU!?!

MePhone4: Hate to break this magical moment but oopsies look at the time!

Bye-bye, Cabby!

[CABBY SCREAMS]

MePhone4: Wow, that was an intense elimination for an even more intense player.

Surely nothing could ever top this!

Or could it?

Find out next time on Inanimate Insanity Invitational!

Candle: Goo, are... you in a comfortable headspace to receive some...

...unsettling information?

Goo: Oh yeah, for sure, yeah.

Today's been a GREAT DAY for my HEADSPACE!!!

Candle: When I attempted to read your friend's aura, I faced...

...a complication...

...something was... wrong.

Goo: Whaddya mean?

Candle: Goo...

She has no aura...

[ADAMATION INC]

Taylor: Alright!

Thank you so much!

I got my Silver Spoon!

AAAAAAA

aaaa

Ahhhh hahaha!

Oh hello!~

Crazy what I'm doing right now, eh?

Writing another Inanimate Insanity episode?

Thanks so much for watching by the way!

[VERY EXPENSIVE SUNGLASSES BREAK]

You got three teams you can vote for!

[WRONG]

You've got TWO teams you can vote for!

You can vote for one character on The Thinkers and one character on The Pinkers.

IT IS SO IMPORTANT THAT YOU VOTE FOR ONE ON EACH TEAM!!!!

Voting is at InanimateInsanity.com/vote

It doesn't really seem like it's a mile high...

Thank you guys so much for watching again and OH NO DON'T CLOSE IT-

[THE END]