| Character
|
Scene/Script
|
| (Scene: Sunny day, Marshmallow and Apple are drawing pictures, surrounded by flowers.)
|
| Apple
|
Look, Marshmallow! I drew us!
|
| (Apple shows Marshmallow a poorly drawn picture of her and Marshmallow in a grassy field, with the words "Bast Frends" [sic] at the top. Above Apple and Marshmallow are their names, misspelled.)
|
| Marshmallow
|
That's nice, Apple! But... you did spell everything wrong.
|
| Apple
|
Oh, not again! (crumples up paper and tosses it into a large pile of crumpled-up paper) Anyway, what are you drawing?
|
| Marshmallow
|
Oh, pfft. It's nothing! (hides the picture from Apple's view)
|
| Apple
|
Let's take a look!
|
| (Apple grabs Marshmallow's drawing. When she sees it, she gasps in horror. It is a scribbled picture of Bow and a chair. Apple looks extremely scared.)
|
| Apple
|
Why'd you draw that?
|
| Marshmallow
|
Well... to be honest... I've kinda been feeling guilty about... well... Bow.
|
| Apple
|
What? Why? Because you put her in a tiny box and made her turn evil and go on a rampage, kill MePhone5 and then she fell off a cliff... (inhales) ...caused a huge explosion, and killed herself?
|
| Marshmallow
|
I was going to say responsible for her death, but yeah, that too.
|
| Apple
|
Who cares about that? Bow was a disgusting and annoying menace!
|
| Marshmallow
|
Well, I for one thought she was really nice.
|
| Apple
|
Oh, uh, totally! She was awesome! Amazing! Heh...
|
| Marshmallow
|
You know what? Why is she even dead? Everyone else can just magically come back to life except her!
|
| Apple
|
Uhh...
|
| Marshmallow
|
I'm going to ask MePhone to bring Bow back! (walks away)
|
| Apple
|
Hey, wait! You don't have to do that!
|
| (Cut to MePhone4 sitting by a tree, about to download MeOS 7.0.)
|
| Marshmallow
|
MePhone!
|
| MePhone4
|
Oh, uhhh... (His screen goes black, and he speaks in a voice sounding like an automated message.) We're sorry, the number you have dialed is not in service at this time.
|
| Marshmallow
|
You're not fooling me with that.
|
| MePhone4
|
(screen turns back on) Ugh... Fine! What is it?
|
| Marshmallow
|
I want Bow back! It's not fair that she's still dead!
|
| MePhone4
|
Wait, Bow? You still care about her?
|
| Fan
|
(pops up next to MePhone4) Yeah! She's like the fan favorite! This season's headed in the wrong direction! I don't want my little egg to hatch into a sub-par Bow-less season!
|
| MePhone4
|
Uh... how long have you been standing there?
|
| Fan
|
Uh... heh.. Just- Just stop changing the subject, MePhone! You can bring every character back to life! So why not Bow?!
|
| MePhone4
|
I bet you feel real special for figuring that out, don't you?
|
| Fan
|
Very!
|
| MePhone4
|
Look, guys, it's not gonna happen!
|
| Fan
|
Yeah, right! You're just saying that 'cause you hate her!
|
| MePhone4
|
Oh yeah? We'll see about that. (He opens up his MeLife app, then presses the Bow button. Bow starts to appear, but fails to.) See? I didn't want to disappoint you guys, but she's gone. For good. She died while I was dead as well, so I never got the notification to recover her.
|
| Marshmallow
|
What?!
|
| Fan
|
(gasps and takes out some popcorn) What an upsetting twist! (walks away while eating the popcorn)
|
| Apple
|
Oh, this is terrible! Just terrible! Let's vent our feelings through art! (drags Marshmallow away)
|
| MePhone4
|
(gets a phone call and vibrates, then answers the call) What?!
|
| Adam
|
MePhone?
|
| MePhone4
|
Oh! Uh... Hi, Adam. What's up?
|
| Adam
|
I can tell you what's not up. Our ratings. They've gone down ever since Bow died. I don't care what you do. We need the fan favorite back, pronto! (hangs up)
|
| (MePhone4 sighs. Toilet appears behind him.)
|
| Toilet
|
Hello, Mistah Phone!
|
| MePhone4
|
Toilet, where have you been? You were gone three months!
|
| Toilet
|
Oh, well, I had a bit of trouble finding those wires for you, sir, but I got them! (spits out wires)
|
| MePhone4
|
(thinks for a moment, then smiles) Say, Toilet. You think you can get me something other than wires?
|
| Toilet
|
Oh, anything for you, sir!
|
| MePhone4
|
You need to find a way to bring Bow back to life.
|
| Toilet
|
But, sir, you just said it couldn't be done!
|
| MePhone4
|
Toilet, this is your chance to prove yourself to me. So don't screw it up.
|
| Toilet
|
Oh boy! I'll sure do my best, Mistah Phone! (leaves)
|
| MePhone4
|
If the viewers want Bow, oh, they're gonna get more than enough of her. Then no one will be clamoring to see her ever again.
|
| (intro plays)
|
| (The Grand Slams are gathered at the Elimination Area.)
|
| MePhone4
|
Welcome back, Grand Slams. How does it feel to suck so much?
|
| Knife
|
Well, you would know!
|
| MePhone4
|
As I was saying, today, the prizes are leftovers from Soap's disgusting pizza. Barely anybody ate it, so we have plenty to go around.
|
| Baseball
|
Eww! Isn't that pizza, like, over a month old by now?
|
| MePhone4
|
Yeah, but I don't think the pizza could possibly be any worse than it was then. (Everyone except Soap agrees. She glares at them.) Anyway, this time we received a total of 3851 votes. To start, Baseball, Nickel, Knife, Suitcase, Balloon, and Microphone all live another episode.
|
| (MePhone4 throws a pizza towards Baseball and Nickel. They dodge it.)
|
| Baseball
|
Aw, ewwwww!
|
| MePhone4
|
Soap, Cheesy, and Box remain.
|
| Soap
|
But I worked so hard for the team!
|
| MePhone4
|
And that's why you're the next safe.
|
| Soap
|
Oh, yay!
|
| MePhone4
|
Just kidding. Next safe is Cheesy!
|
| Soap
|
(gasps and points at Cheesy) You!
|
| Cheesy
|
(catches the pizza, rotten sauce splattering all over the top of his head) Wow! I can't wait to finally taste this pizza! I really put myself into it! (slaps knee)
|
| Nickel
|
Well, that's an image I'm not getting out of my head.
|
| (The camera pans to Box, who remains silent.)
|
| MePhone4
|
Okay, that's enough of your attitude, Box. Show the votes, MePad!
|
| MePad
|
No problem, sir!
|
| (MePad loads the votes. The final results are 1102 votes for Soap and 1442 votes for Box.)
|
| MePhone4
|
Soap! You get the last slice of pizza. Don't eat it too fast... (throws the pizza into Soap's face)
|
| Soap
|
Oh, come on! It couldn't possibly be that bad, could it? (eats pizza, then vomits)
|
| Suitcase
|
Oh no! Box is eliminated! We're really gonna miss you!
|
| Nickel
|
(sarcastically) Yeah, you were really helpful, Box! Hey, what kind of box is Box anyways?
|
| Paintbrush
|
It's a cardboard box. Can't you tell?
|
| Lightbulb
|
(puts her arm around Paintbrush) Painty, tall fella, brush gal, don't be silly! Box can be whatever it wants to be!
|
| Apple
|
Well then, let's settle this! I'll look inside.
|
| Lightbulb
|
(getting into Apple's face) Be. Careful!
|
| Test Tube
|
Quick, everyone, form your hypotheses!
|
| (Apple opens Box and gasps.)
|
| Microphone
|
(loudly) What is it?!
|
| Apple
|
T-Taco?!
|
| Soap, Balloon, Fan and Paintbrush
|
What?!
|
| Knife
|
(walks over to Box and opens it himself) That says "Box".
|
| (The camera zooms out, revealing the word "Box" written in pink letters inside Box.)
|
| Apple
|
Well, I was close, at least.
|
| MePad
|
My apologizes, but the competition has been stalled long enough. It is time for Box to make his departure.
|
| Suitcase
|
I'll miss you, Box!
|
| (MePad kicks Box into the Rejection Portal.)
|
| Toilet
|
Mistah Phone! Mistah Phone! I did it!
|
| MePhone4
|
You found Bow? Really?
|
| Toilet
|
Uh, no, but I found the next best thing!
|
| (Dramatic music plays while the camera dramatically moves up to reveal Dough.)
|
| MePhone4
|
Eh, good enough.
|
| Toilet
|
Good enough?! Ha! Take that, MePad!
|
| MePad
|
Um... sure, consider it taken.
|
| MePhone4
|
Hey, contestants, come over here. So I've been informed that many people have been anticipating Bow's return to Inanimate Insanity. But she's dead!
|
| Nickel
|
(sarcastically) How upsetting.
|
| MePhone4
|
So we found the closest thing to Bow.
|
| Toilet
|
Introducing the new Bow: Bow's alleged big brother, Dough!
|
| Dough
|
Hi guys, I'm Dough.
|
| (Everyone looks weirded out and/or confused, Fan especially.)
|
| Nickel
|
This is the best you could do?
|
| Toilet
|
Uh-huh! Dough is just like Bow, but different! Instead of chairs, he likes stairs!
|
| Dough
|
They're the best. (falls down the elimination area bleachers)
|
| Marshmallow
|
How could you just replace her with that thing?!
|
| Fan
|
It's... not the same...
|
| MePhone4
|
It's everything you liked about Bow in a new, different form! So quit complaining! Anyway, the winner of the next challenge will win Dough as a new member of their team, so this challenge is a soccer match.
|
| Dough
|
Wouldn't it, like, be better if it was, like, a bear competition? Because bears are so totally awesome.
|
| Paintbrush
|
Wait, aren't you addicted to stairs?
|
| Dough
|
Pfft. Those are so, like, thirty-four seconds ago. I like bears. Alright, wilderness!
|
| MePad
|
And what's next? Mares?
|
| MePhone4
|
Now, since the Grand- (Toilet eagerly leans in next to him. He pushes Toilet away.) Now, since the Grand Slams outnumber the Bright Lights, we need someone from the Grand Slams to sit out. Sooo... Nickel. Go sit in the bleachers.
|
| Nickel
|
What?! But this is soccer! The sport for the legs only!
|
| MePhone4
|
I know. Now get out.
|
| Lightbulb
|
Alrighty, sports fans, we're going to have to dribble around those bases to get the touchdowns we need to checkmate the other team!
|
| Paintbrush
|
(sigh) Lightbulb! I really appreciate you winning the last challenge, really, I do! But we really need to get our head in the game here, so please, don't do anything stupid!
|
| Lightbulb
|
You can count on me. If we're gonna hit that bullseye, we're gonna knock those pins down as a team, but you can't be drownin'!
|
| Paintbrush
|
Right...
|
| Fan
|
I'll volunteer as goalie. You don't want me on the field. Uh-uh.
|
| (Cut to the Grand Slams on the soccer field.)
|
| Balloon
|
So... who's gonna be our goalie?
|
| Baseball
|
Uhh... Mic, how 'bout you?
|
| Microphone
|
Aww, but I want to play out on the field! I'm sure I'll do great!
|
| Baseball
|
Yeah, well... you've had a tendency to mess up challenges with your, uh... loudness, so maybe it's best you just take it easy.
|
| Microphone
|
But I won the dodgeball contest! What do you think, Suitcase?
|
| Suitcase
|
Uh... I guess if that's what my alliance member wants...
|
| Microphone
|
(depressed) Okay... (walks up to goal) I'll show them! I'm not screwing this up.
|
| MePhone4
|
Whichever team is the first to five goals wins. Get your mark, on set... (blows whistle)
|
| Lightbulb
|
(to Apple) Yo, vitamin C, send me!
|
| Apple
|
Here, Marshmallow, take it! (kicks to Marshmallow; Lightbulb looks annoyed)
|
| Marshmallow
|
Umm... Okay, then... (kicks ball to Paintbrush, who heads towards the goal)
|
| Microphone
|
Come on! Come on! Hit me with your best shot!
|
| (Paintbrush heads towards the goal, but is tackled by Baseball. Microphone sighs in disappointment. Baseball kicks the ball towards the Bright Lights' goal, but Fan opens up, blocking it.)
|
| Paintbrush
|
Nice save, Fan!
|
| Fan
|
Wow! I never knew I could be good at sports! Maybe I should rethink spending my life in front of a computer screen! (picks up ball and tosses it to Test Tube)
|
| (Fan picks up the ball and tosses it to Test Tube. She receives it, but it is stolen by Soap.)
|
| Soap
|
Ha!
|
| Test Tube
|
Uhhhh...
|
| (Soap kicks the ball to Baseball, who sends it flying at Fan, tearing through him and scoring a goal for the Grand Slams.)
|
| Fan
|
(sighs) Never mind...
|
| Baseball
|
(tauntingly) Legs!
|
| (Cheesy runs up with the ball and kicks it towards Fan, who jumps to avoid it, sealing another goal as the team cheers for Cheesy.)
|
| Cheesy
|
Heheh. Who knew all that slapping would give my leg endurance?
|
| Apple
|
Marsh, my buddy, ol' pal, take it. You got this! (kicks the ball over Marshmallow)
|
| Marshmallow
|
No!
|
| (The ball lands at Knife's feet. Apple runs up to him.)
|
| Apple
|
Hey! Give that back! That ball was for Marshmallow!
|
| Knife
|
Uhh, sorry. No.
|
| Apple
|
How would you like it if I took your Dora Doll, sissy?
|
| Knife
|
Oh, in that case, here you go! (kicks ball in Apple's face) You like that?!
|
| MePhone4
|
(blows whistle) Knife, that's a penalty for unnecessary roughness. Sit on the bleachers.
|
| Microphone, Soap, Balloon
|
Oooooooh!
|
| (Test Tube walks up to them, spouting gibberish.)
|
| Knife
|
Grrrrr! Fine!
|
| (Knife goes to sit on the bleachers next to Nickel.)
|
| Nickel
|
Knife, what was that?! I thought after you saw how mean Trophy acted, you would become a nicer person!
|
| Knife
|
Look. I'm a jerk, remember?
|
| Nickel
|
Listen. We're more alike then you think. Mean thoughts fill my head too! You just gotta transform them into sarcasm so you won't come off as mean to people!
|
| Knife
|
Sure, whatever. Worth a shot.
|
| (Cut to Dough standing next to the field.)
|
| Dough
|
Hey guys, I'm bored! (to Microphone) Hey, you! I'm like, bored!
|
| Microphone
|
So am I, but not enough to talk to you.
|
| Dough
|
Well, you should totally buy a dare.
|
| Microphone
|
Another chair rhyme, huh? Guess what. Nobody cares!
|
| (While Microphone is distracted, a ball flies past her, and the Bright Lights cheer.)
|
| Microphone
|
What?! No!
|
| Baseball
|
What was that, Microphone?! Okay. Clearly you need to be even further from the action. I'll be goalie now.
|
| Microphone
|
(loudly) What?! But what about me?!
|
| Baseball
|
Augh! Why don't you go play another position?
|
| Microphone
|
(turns herself off) Fine! (to Dough) You! I dare you to jump off a bridge! (walks away)
|
| Dough
|
Ugh. Like, mean.
|
| (Cut to Nickel and Knife on the bleachers.)
|
| Nickel
|
So for sarcasm, you gotta use (sarcastic tone) this tone.
|
| Knife
|
Oh. (imitates Nickel) This tone. (normally) I think I've done that before. But I never knew it was an art.
|
| Nickel
|
Well, now you can witness the artist in action. Hey, Dough! (sarcastically) You are really a great Bow knockoff!
|
| Dough
|
Yeah, whatevs.
|
| Nickel
|
(to Knife) See? I got my feelings out while not coming off as a complete jerk! Now you try!
|
| Knife
|
Okay. Hey, Cheesy! (sarcastic tone) Your jokes are terrible!
|
| Cheesy
|
(angrily) Oh. So we got a heckler in the crowd today, eh?
|
| Nickel
|
Knife! That's not how it works!
|
| Knife
|
But I'm doing that emphasis on some words thing that you did!
|
| Nickel
|
Ugh, sorry Cheesy, you don't understand.
|
| Cheesy
|
(climbing up the bleachers) Oh, I understand. This sharp guy thinks he's better than me!
|
| Suitcase
|
Cheesy! We're still playing!
|
| Cheesy
|
You think you're funnier than me, Knife? Why, I oughta- (winds up a punch, but is punched first by Knife)
|
| Nickel
|
Why did you do that?!
|
| Knife
|
My bad. Just a reflex.
|
| Nickel
|
(sarcastically) Yeah, that'll make people like you.
|
| Knife
|
Really? Or, wait, is that the sarcasm again?
|
| (Nickel screams in frustration. Cut to the field. Apple has the ball.)
|
| Apple
|
Yes, I got the ball back! Marshmallow, where- (is punched into the ground by Yin-Yang) Augh!
|
| Yang
|
Ha! Take this, losers! (kicks the ball into his team's goal)
|
| Fan
|
Hey!
|
| Yin
|
Yes! I mean, no! That was the wrong goal!
|
| Yang
|
No, I'm pretty sure it was the right goal! (walks up to the goal and slaps Fan, who is holding the ball)
|
| Fan
|
What?!
|
| (The ball lands in the goal again.)
|
| Yin
|
Okay, that time was on purpose.
|
| Yang
|
So was the last time! Idiot!
|
| Soap
|
Aww... it's cute when they argue!
|
| Paintbrush
|
(clears throat) Lightbulb, someone's been acting pretty offensive, and I think that somebody deserves to go to the Calm Down Corner.
|
| Lightbulb
|
Couldn't agree more, Painty! (beat) So, uh, what are you waiting for, go.
|
| Paintbrush
|
What?! Not me, I'm perfectly calm!
|
| Lightbulb
|
Yeah, yeah, tell it to the judicial branch. Let's go.
|
| Paintbrush
|
Hmph! (goes to the Calm Down Corner)
|
| (Cut to the Grand Slams.)
|
| Baseball
|
Well, not much competition when the competition is helping us win!
|
| (Cut to Yang laughing evilly as his teammates look disapprovingly at him.)
|
| Dough
|
(off screen) You suck!
|
| (Cut to Nickel and Knife.)
|
| Nickel
|
Here, Knife, let's try this one more time. Uh... Balloon! (sarcastically) You're so trustworthy!
|
| Balloon
|
Huh? What's with the sarcasm? Oh, come on, guys, I thought you were just starting to like me!
|
| Knife
|
(sarcastically) We do!
|
| Balloon
|
So you're saying you don't? (runs off crying)
|
| Knife
|
Ughh. (sarcastically) Well, this plan worked perfectly!
|
| Nickel
|
Wait. Say that again.
|
| Knife
|
I said (sarcastically) this was a great idea.
|
| Nickel
|
You did it! That's sarcasm!
|
| Knife
|
Oh, really? Well, thanks for showing it to me, Nickel. (sarcastically) I really appreciate it!
|
| Nickel
|
No proble- Hey!
|
| (Cut to the field.)
|
| MePhone4
|
Okay, we're entering the final minutes of this game, and Bright Lights, since you're so far behind, I've decided to give you one last chance to catch up. Each of you get a penalty shot against the Grand Slams.
|
| Test Tube
|
Guys, according to my grade school calculations, we have to get at least four shots past Baseball to win!
|
| Fan
|
Four shots?! We'll never make it!
|
| Lightbulb
|
Calm down, Paper. Let's win this challenge... the bright way!
|
| (An invisible audience cheers as Marshmallow, Apple, Test Tube, and Fan all kick soccer balls at the goal, which harmlessly bounce off Baseball as the cheering stops.)
|
| Lightbulb
|
Well, I think that was a bit, how you say, anticlimactic.
|
| MePhone4
|
And that's the end of this challenge. The Grand Slams win by a landslide.
|
| Yang
|
Serves my loser team right.
|
| Microphone
|
Well, at least we won... But next time my skills are really gonna kick in!
|
| Cheesy
|
(slaps knee) Ha! Kick! Soccer! Pun!
|
| MePhone4
|
So Grand Slams, as your prize, you get Dough on your team!
|
| (Microphone, Baseball, Nickel, Cheesy, Knife, and Soap cheer, then groan.)
|
| Suitcase
|
I, for one, welcome this new change to our team. We can't just live in the past! We have to move on, be willing to try new things!
|
| Dough
|
I agree. Copy the past. Never try anything different. Yeah, guys, it's going to be amazing. Now who wants to buy an affair?
|
| (Suddenly, Yin-Yang jumps at Dough and eats him.)
|
| Suitcase
|
Ahh! Yin-Yang! Why'd you do that?
|
| Yang
|
Yin ate him!
|
| Yin
|
You can't be serious!
|
| Yang
|
It couldn't have been me! I'm gluten free!
|
| Yin
|
Okay. I ate him. I was starving!
|
| MePhone4
|
Oh no! Dough's dead now too!
|
| Baseball
|
Well, you can always bring him back to life, right?
|
| MePhone4
|
I would, but I never had the time to create a life icon for him. (insincerely) What a shame!
|
| Knife
|
Sarcasm. I like it.
|
| MePhone4
|
So Dough is dead forever. Looks like he isn't joining the game. So sad. Anyway, vote for a Bright Light on inanimateinsanity.com.
|
| (The credits roll.)
|
| (After the credits, cut to the Calm-Down Corner at night. Paintbrush is still sitting there and sighs in irritation.)
|
