| Character
|
Scene/Script
|
| (Scene: A meadow. MePad is counting down from ten as the contestants and MePhone4 look on. When the countdown reaches zero, a buzzer sounds and the image changes to a red silhouette of Marshmallow with the words "ELIMINATED" written above her in big, red letters.)
|
| MePhone4
|
And with that, Marshmallow's time in this game has officially come to an end. Always trouble with that one, never where she needs to be.
|
| (Paintbrush looks saddened, then notices Lightbulb sobbing while looking at a portrait of someone.)
|
| Lightbulb
|
Why...? I miss... (The picture is revealed to be of Baxter the crab.) Please come back!
|
| MePhone4
|
We have eight of you left now, so I should probably... (takes out two cookies with the team logos on them) break up the teams, right? (pointedly eats the cookies) Ahhh, they're gone. I wanna let this all sink in. (Lightbulb stares in shock.) I'll see you guys soon. (walks away, addressing MePad as he passes him) And you have no idea where she went?
|
| MePad
|
No, sir. None.
|
| (Everyone walks away except for Paintbrush, who is sitting on the ground, looking depressed.)
|
| Lightbulb
|
I know, Painty, it's a... It's a lot to take in. I really miss Baxter too. But that's us! We're resilient!
|
| Paintbrush
|
You're... comparing Marsh to a crab? Uhh, Lightbulb, I think we might actually be better off without teams. I mean, we're on totally different wave lengths! You know, you make a cookie pizza, or go scuba diving, and eat... that.
|
| Lightbulb
|
(with scuba goggles on her head, a cookie pizza in her hand, and a box of fish food in her mouth) I-I don't know what you're talking about, what are you saying?
|
| Paintbrush
|
And I, you know, led the team, 'cause someone had to do it. (sees Lightbulb looking saddened) Don't get me wrong, we're still friends, but working individually might be freeing for both of us! Does... that make sense?
|
| Lightbulb
|
(snaps her fingers and winks at Paintbrush) I gotcha, girl! (Paintbrush walks away, looking displeased. Lightbulb sadly sits down on her cookie pizza.) Gotcha...
|
| (Cut to Taco and Microphone standing right next to the Dr. Fizz/bottled water vending machine.)
|
| Taco
|
So... (hits the vending machine, sending a can of Dr. Fizz bouncing into her hand) you're flying solo now. Good riddance to that miserable team!
|
| Microphone
|
You say that like we didn't do our share of permanent damage...
|
| Taco
|
Baseball's alliance was bound to snap, (opens the can) you just sped up the inevitable. Now, naming your team "Chickenleg"? That's permanent damage for you.
|
| Microphone
|
You did that? Was it... Was it strategic?
|
| Taco
|
No, but it was hilarious! (throws the finished soda can away) Good times indeed. (takes out the Temporary Paralyzer) Giving back this temporary paralyzer, though? My, that's neither strategic nor amusing.
|
| Microphone
|
It's the right thing to do.
|
| Taco
|
Ugh, so vanilla... (puts in the code for Test Tube's Laboratory) Fine. (A giant tube pops out from the vending machine. Taco throws the paralyzer to Microphone, which lands in her hands.) Just... play it cool.
|
| (Microphone gets sucked into by the giant tube, then lands safely on the other side in Test Tube's lab. Test Tube looks at her in shock.)
|
| Microphone
|
(nervously) Hey...! (Test Tube looks suspiciously at her for a beat.) Hey...!
|
| Test Tube
|
Excuse me. (uses a red marker to scribble out "Secret" on a sign that says "Test Tube's Secret Laboratory") Yes?
|
| Microphone
|
(stressed) Is this yours?!
|
| Test Tube
|
Hmm... I must have dropped that earlier. (takes the paralyzer from Microphone) Thank goodness! I've been having a real ant problem.
|
| (Test Tube presses the button on the paralyzer, turning it on. Microphone walks over to a disassembled calculator.)
|
| Microphone
|
So... what's this you're working on?
|
| Test Tube
|
Oh, that? It's my time mach– Ah, nope! No! You've seen enough, you... you jeebweezer!
|
| Taco
|
(listening in while hiding behind a bush) That honyock has a time machine?! Hang on, I'm coming down!
|
| Microphone
|
(whispering) What?!
|
| Test Tube
|
Jeebweezer... Yeah! I like that! I'm gonna use that more!
|
| (Behind Test Tube, Taco pops out of the tube leading into the lab, bush and all. Suddenly, Lightbulb bursts in through the doors leading into the lab, holding three cans of Dr. Fizz.)
|
| Lightbulb
|
Hey, Tube! How much do I owe you for the three of these? I think I'm gonna splurge today.
|
| (Test Tube's eye twitches, and she rips her sign up.)
|
| Test Tube
|
I guess I should just start charging admission now, huh?! Haha!
|
| Lightbulb
|
Sorry, I drink when I'm depressed. Which I am not! No, I am not. (takes a sip, then coughs up Baxter) And I found Baxter! He'd have one too, but he's never depressed. (Cut to Taco eyeing the calculator. Cut back to Lightbulb picking it up and pressing a few buttons, to Microphone's concern and Test Tube and Taco's horror.) Now, how much do I owe you for these, uh, things?
|
| Test Tube
|
(runs towards Lightbulb) No! Jeepers, it's not ready yet!
|
| Lightbulb
|
I mean, this machine's ridiculous-
|
| (A portal comes into existence behind Lightbulb, and she, Test Tube, and Baxter are sucked into it.)
|
| Microphone
|
Woah!
|
| (Taco jumps out of her bush and stares at the portal in wonderment.)
|
| Taco
|
Another chance... perhaps...?
|
| (Taco approaches the portal with her hand outreached. Just as she's about to reach it, it disappears, to her sadness and Microphone's bafflement.)
|
| (Cut to the portal spitting out Test Tube and Lightbulb over a grassy field with a more simplistic art style than normal.)
|
| Test Tube
|
It... It worked! My time machine worked!
|
| Lightbulb
|
Ugh! Did I divide by zero again?
|
| Test Tube
|
Do you know where you've just taken us?! (Zoom out to reveal the size of the field.) No, seriously, tell me. I've... I've never been here before.
|
| (The intro plays.)
|
| (Scene: Test Tube's lab. Microphone is pacing back and forth while Taco is leaning against a table, thinking.)
|
| Microphone
|
No no no no no no no no no...
|
| Taco
|
Microphone, calm down! They're not dead, they're just... lost in the fabric of time and space. How wonderful! You got rid of two competitors! You're on a roll!
|
| Microphone
|
I saw you reach for it...
|
| Taco
|
And without that bum around, an empty lab to boot! Free loot galore! (grabs a bow tie lying on the table) Look! (puts on the bow tie and presses a button, turning her invisible) Ooh, you can't see me, but I'm being inconspicuous! (Taco presses the button again and it turns her back to normal. She presses the button twice to no effect.)
|
| Microphone
|
What are we gonna tell everyone?!
|
| Taco
|
Zilch! That's it, that's your excuse! I love zilch, it's always there for you.
|
| (Cut back to Test Tube and Lightbulb. MePhone4 is shown with his appearance and voice from "The Crappy Cliff".)
|
| MePhone4
|
Okay, so, the first challenge will be to jump off this 60 foot cliff...
|
| Test Tube
|
There is no way this is real grass.
|
| Lightbulb
|
See, you can either land in the water and become a team captain, or you land in the...
|
| Paper
|
Ew, gross!
|
| Test Tube
|
Enlightening. Why does everyone look so... lifeless and static?
|
| (Bomb falls to the ground with a metallic thud, without changing his pose.)
|
| Lightbulb
|
I don't really think we're all there yet... (gasps) Painty! (Paintbrush glances in her direction.) Psst, hey, Painty!
|
| MePhone4
|
...everyone ready?
|
| Paintbrush
|
Well, actually, I had a question about--
|
| MePhone4
|
(competely ignoring and interrupting them) START!!!
|
| (Lightbulb is still waving at Paintbrush. Test Tube slaps her hand down.)
|
| Test Tube
|
Stop! You're deeply confusing a stylistically challenged version of Paintbrush!
|
| Lightbulb
|
But it's so full circle...
|
| Test Tube
|
No! Thematic parallels be darned! Darned! You can't interfere with the past! You could so much as break a twig here and somehow inadvertently change the fu- (steps on a twig, to her horror) No...
|
| (While Test Tube stares at the broken twig in horror, Lightbulb turns her attention back to the contestants.)
|
| Pepper
|
Come on, Salty-Salt, let's jump together!
|
| Salt
|
Off that? No way.
|
| (Lightbulb, looking annoyed, goes to approach the contestants as Test Tube tries to fix the twig.)
|
| (Cut to MePad and Toilet.)
|
| Toilet
|
Alright, MePad! Show us that big votin' pie we love to see! (A pie chart appears on MePad's screen, revealing that the winning challenge is painting.) Oooh!
|
| MePhone4
|
(to Paintbrush) Not to single anyone out, but you have no excuse not to win.
|
| (MePhone4 generates easels and paint for the contestants.)
|
| MePad
|
By the way, sir, we seem to be missing a few competitors aga... (notices MePhone4 glaring at him) Sir?
|
| MePhone4
|
(with forced cheer) Their loss! (A laugh track plays, then gets cut off.) I swear, if they don't get back here before the end of the challenge...
|
| Microphone
|
(runs in) I'm here! ...And I was the whole time!
|
| Knife
|
Wouldn't happen to know where Lightbulb and Test Tube are, wouldya?
|
| Microphone
|
(forcibly) No! (calms down) I mean... no! Zilch.
|
| (Microphone laughs nervously. After a moment, Knife chuckles too.)
|
| Fan
|
Test Tube's gone?! Well, they're all dropping like flies and there's nothing we can (shouting) do about it! Except paint!
|
| Paintbrush
|
And Lightbulb too...? ...Well, ain't that dandy! No distractions at all! (picks up a paintbrush) Now, let's get started! (mumbling) That's right, I'm gonna paint. Don't anyone interrupt me! (trembles slightly) I'm gonna do it! (puts the paintbrush to the easel, then does nothing) Ugh. This is gonna be a long challenge.
|
| (Cut to the cliff.)
|
| Salt
|
I'm sorry, Pepper, there is no way. No way that I'm doing that! (Pepper points behind her. The music trails off as the shot zooms out to reveal Lightbulb.) Who's that?!
|
| Lightbulb
|
Hey, stop contemplating! Follow your dreams! (pushes her towards the edge)
|
| Salt
|
Hey! (bumps into Pepper)
|
| Pepper
|
OMG!
|
| (Salt and Pepper both fall screaming off the cliff. Cut to Test Tube welding the twig back together.)
|
| Test Tube
|
Whew! Crisis averted. (hears splashes off screen) Wha...?
|
| (Cut to Salt and Pepper in the safe zone.)
|
| Lightbulb
|
See, you stuck together and won! (realizing that she changed the past) OMGA...
|
| MePhone4
|
Salt actually wins! Pepper also wins! Which means, they can pick the teams!
|
| Pepper
|
(unenthusiastically) Yeah...!
|
| Test Tube
|
(running up to Lightbulb) No! It... Wait, is that right?
|
| Lightbulb
|
Well, me and Balloon were the captains, so...
|
| Balloon
|
(in the background) Oh, come on!
|
| Test Tube
|
Oh, gadzooks! (takes out the Time Machine and presses a few buttons) Maybe the effects on the present won't be too bad! Ugh, I totally jinxed it.
|
| (They're taken back to a timeline with pink grass, a purple sky, and other contestants entirely. Thermos screams when they appear, causing Test Tube to scream as well.)
|
| Frank
|
Sup.
|
| Lightbulb
|
Ah, thank you for the warm welcome! (to Test Tube) Don't worry, this seems right. (A spotlight turns on, shining on Salt and Pepper.) So far so good! (gives Test Tube a thumbs up)
|
| Salt
|
(pointing to herself) Face.
|
| Pepper
|
(gesturing to her legs) Legs.
|
| Both
|
This... is... Inanimate... (they hesitate, having forgotten their line)
|
| Pepper
|
It's... Insa... Insalence? What is... What is it?
|
| Salt
|
Uh... (mumbles inaudibly) No... I don't know... I don't know what it is...
|
| Chives
|
Inanimate Insanity, madams.
|
| Salt & Pepper
|
Oh! Uh, oh yeah! Inanimate Insanity Infinity! (use their hands to make the infinity sign)
|
| (A version of the show's intro showcasing mainly Salt and Pepper, the theme song hummed by them, plays. The shows title has been replaced by "Inanimate Insanity Infinity", and the opening credits read, "Created by Salt & Pepper - Directed by no one.")
|
| (Smash cut to Thermos still screaming, scaring Test Tube. Meanwhile, Kumquat runs up to Lightbulb.)
|
| Kumquat
|
Hi, guys! Who are you? I don't care! I'm Kumquat, isn't that funny? I'm funny, don't you agree? Wow! (to Test Tube) Look at you, you're green! (to Lightbulb) Look, you glow! That's the same color as Green Light over there!
|
| Green Light
|
Wowie! Isn't joy such a great emotion?
|
| Red Light
|
Shut up, shut up, shut up! Everyone shut up! You all suck!
|
| Yellow Light
|
Meh.
|
| Test Tube
|
(as Thermos continues screaming in the distance) Something's... off about this place.
|
| Shell
|
How else do expect us to be appealing, huh?! No, seriously? Any other ideas?
|
| Voice
|
You dirty peasants should be glad you get any screentime! A whopping five percent is more than I've ever gotten!
|
| Test Tube
|
Who's talking right now? (She turns around and yelps. Cut to Black Hole.) A black hole!
|
| Red Light
|
Oh, so you have a problem with holes?! Huh?!
|
| Test Tube
|
(scared) No!
|
| Black Hole
|
Millions have fallen into my dark abyss.
|
| (Thermos screams again.)
|
| Bandana
|
Avast! Trespassers on me turf! Did the MePhone ask for them?!
|
| (MePhone7 just vibrates and buzzes.)
|
| Hay Bale
|
Well, toast my oats, that's for sure a yes! Guess y'all are in the right place!
|
| Shell
|
Ahh, I love that MePhone7!
|
| Kumquat
|
So funny! Real people's person.
|
| (MePhone7 vibrates again.)
|
| Test Tube
|
I... I typed in the present, but... this is... this. I'm gonna have a breakdown.
|
| Lightbulb
|
And this is when you should drop out of math, kids. (slaps the time machine out of Test Tube's hands and prepares to step on it) Take that, fractions! (gets punched by Test Tube) Ow!
|
| Test Tube
|
Why?!
|
| Lightbulb
|
You said you were gonna have to break it down! I just wanted to help!
|
| (Cut to Thermos still screaming. Salt and Pepper are lying in sunchairs behind him.)
|
| Pepper
|
Shut up! (Thermos yelps and stops screaming. She sighs and takes out a bell, ringing it.) Chives! Bring me my challenge bell!
|
| Chives
|
Of course, Madam Grey.
|
| Pepper
|
(ringing the challenge bell) Like, it's challenge time! Y'know, for like, us exclusively. Salt, what do we do?
|
| Salt
|
Hmm... MePhone! (MePhone7 floats towards them while making garbled electronic noises.) Uh, yeah, cool. So, like, can you make another fashion show?
|
| MePhone7
|
(after processing the request for a few moments) Okay. (generates a catwalk)
|
| Salt & Pepper
|
(excited) Woo!
|
| Salt
|
Sparkle...
|
| Pepper
|
Chives!
|
| Chives
|
Yet another astonishing original choice, my dear madams.
|
| (Shell groans.)
|
| Red Light
|
The tenth time?!
|
| Hay Bale
|
(sighs) Barbeque sauce!
|
| Kumquat
|
We're not even allowed to participate!
|
| Bandana
|
Arr, we'll never be noticed!
|
| Black Hole
|
You're telling me.
|
| Lightbulb
|
Hey, guys! There's no need to make the competition so, pfft, competitive! Just follow your girl Lightbulb here! And we can vie for attention as... as a team! But you can't be drowning!
|
| Red Light
|
Why, that sounds like a--
|
| Green Light
|
Great idea! I don't see the issue with blindly accepting everyone!
|
| Yellow Light
|
...Meh.
|
| Shell
|
Wait, guys! I love your crab!
|
| Lightbulb
|
OMGA, thank you! His name's Baxter. I like to think he either created the universe, or he'll end it.
|
| (The contestants gasp in awe.)
|
| Kumquat
|
Okay, I'm Kumquat, and I like you now! You're A-okay! Haha! Yes!
|
| Test Tube
|
I-I-I'm sorry, no. None of you should even exist! This timeline and everything in it is a mistake! No offense.
|
| Yellow Light
|
Meh.
|
| Lightbulb
|
Well, I wouldn't say "mistake"... Maybe it's all... better off this way.
|
| Test Tube
|
What?! So instead of focusing on getting us home, you'd prefer to mindlessly follow these... incoherent ruffians!
|
| Shell
|
Awww, you mean it?
|
| Test Tube
|
Wait, I-
|
| Hay Bale
|
Well, darn tootin'! (lifts Lightbulb into the air) Giddyup, partners!
|
| (Hay Bale carries Lightbulb away with the other contestants following her, cheering. Test Tube stays behind, staring in disbelief. A montage plays of Lightbulb having fun with the contestants while "Just Like Me!" plays in the background. While Lightbulb is doing her fun activities, Test Tube is angrily working on the time machine.)
|
| Lightbulb
|
- All the people that I now see
- People who are just like me
- I mean really, what a time to be
- Taking part in this insanity
- I am finally feeling free
- Basking in this similarity
- And all I had to do was flee
- Build myself a new reality
|
| (After the song, Lightbulb is relaxing with the contestants on top of a giant statue of Salt and Pepper.)
|
| Lightbulb
|
Yeah, I mean, I guess we're on good terms, but... Painty said we shouldn't... work together anymore.
|
| Frank
|
(snaps his fingers) Sup.
|
| Lightbulb
|
Yeah, you said it, Frank. How good can those good terms really be, eh?
|
| Hay Bale
|
How good can they really be?!
|
| Bandana, Shell, Kumquat & Green Light
|
(in unison) How good can they really be?!
|
| Lightbulb
|
(takes a step backward, weirded out) What the...? (recovers) Uh, yeah, yeah... Now Test Tube too, she's upset with me about her calculator.
|
| Kumquat
|
That science glass, so emotional. (to Bandana) You know what happens to those ones! (chuckles)
|
| Lightbulb
|
"Those ones"...?
|
| (Cut to Test Tube with her time machine.)
|
| Test Tube
|
(sighs) I guess this is where my life's at now.
|
| (She resumes tinkering with the time machine. Salt and Pepper walk up to her.)
|
| Salt
|
Hello... you.
|
| Test Tube
|
Uh, hi there! Um... can I help you two?
|
| (Salt and Pepper look at each other and then back at Test Tube.)
|
| Pepper
|
Look, a lot of contestants have, like, come through here over the years.
|
| Salt
|
And they've all lost. Because we're obviously better than them. And the competitors are so boring!
|
| Pepper
|
So, we just keep asking the MePhone- (She gets interrupted by a loud electronic noise and a beam of light shining down from the sky on MePhone7, upgrading him to MePhone7+. After this, she continues as if nothing happened.) to replace the contestants!
|
| Salt
|
'Cause, like, they're so weird!
|
| Pepper
|
They're all really weird.
|
| Salt
|
They're all, like, the same to us.
|
| Test Tube
|
(sarcastically) You don't say.
|
| Salt
|
All the same. All... except you. You're... not like the rest of them.
|
| Test Tube
|
Wow, when I hear that phrase, it's almost like I'm home! Which I'm not, this isn't my home.
|
| Salt
|
OMG, she's not getting it...! Chives, water! I need water right now, Chives. Gimme water.
|
| Chives
|
Of course, Madam White.
|
| Pepper
|
See, everyone that comes through here is either totally zany... (She points to Thermos, who is still screaming, then stares at him for a second.) ...or... well, y'know... normal. Like us! One of two things. But...
|
| Salt & Pepper
|
You... don't seem to be either one.
|
| Test Tube
|
'Cause... any emotion or logic... disrupts your little... celebrity statuses! (Cut to Salt and Pepper taking selfies.) That's what's going on here, isn't it?!
|
| Salt
|
I don't know what you're saying... but it sounds very angry and rational.
|
| Pepper
|
And unfortunately, we don't have a room for that.
|
| (Pepper snaps his fingers. Chives ties Test Tube's arms behind her back and drags her away.)
|
| Chives
|
Sorry about this, dear. Indoctrination, it's a whole ordeal.
|
| Test Tube
|
What's become of this world?! (notices a gravestone with the words "R.I.P. Twig" written on it) No... NOOOOOOOOO-
|
| (Test Tube gets cut off by the "Elimination Time" jingle, sung by Salt and Pepper.)
|
| (Cut to Salt, Pepper, and the contestants at the Elimination Area. Test Tube is tied to a metal pole.)
|
| Pepper
|
Hey, hey, everyone! We didn't show you casting your votes, since, it's, like, not important, and would take time away from us.
|
| Salt
|
But, we'd like to say thank you, and that they were delicious!
|
| Pepper
|
Now, onto the final, non-negotiable, results.
|
| (Salt reveals an unflattering picture she has drawn of Test Tube. The contestants cheer, while Lightbulb looks horrified.)
|
| Salt
|
I know what you're thinking. No, it's not 'cause she's a nerd. It's 'cause she's ugly!
|
| Pepper
|
Test Tube, you get to choose between two portals. Go through one, and you'll be released into the dark abyss!
|
| Black Hole
|
This is just my day job.
|
| Pepper
|
Go through the other, and you get to come back and try again!
|
| Test Tube
|
Wow, this is somehow simultaneously advanced, and utterly barbaric!
|
| Lightbulb
|
(walking over to Test Tube) Whoa, whoa! Wait, wait, hold up. Do-don't get me wrong, I'm all for fun, I love having fun, but... uh, torture, I don't know, it's... (Cut to Salt and Pepper, completely uncaring. Salt mockingly imitates Lightbulb with her hand while Pepper is filing her nails.) kinda crossing the line, there. Uh, and when you cross a line, it stops being a line, it's just a cross, with a crossing guard, and all the other... cool stuff.
|
| Hay Bale
|
Hyuck hyuck! So funny!
|
| Lightbulb
|
Um, I'm trying to logic this chaos? This is... This is serious, okay? This is serious o'clock.
|
| Kumquat
|
"Serious o'clock"? (falls to the floor laughing) Lightbulb, you kill me!
|
| Test Tube
|
Ah, it's a barrel of laughs here, isn't it?! (Brief cut to Barrel staring at Test Tube.) Sorry I tried to repair our problem! I should have just used luck! Or... Or, or- (coughs) Quirks! Like you!
|
| Lightbulb
|
(confused) What do you mean, "quirks"? (cheers up) Hey, anyway! You want some toast? (pulls out toast) I made it myself! I still don't know how, but it happened!
|
| Test Tube
|
There it is, nonsensical Lightbulb, accidentally stumbling into a solution! "Oh, you have a crab, we all like you now!" Quirkity-doo! Gee! You know, I actually have to try!
|
| Lightbulb
|
(upset) Uh... I try...
|
| (Test Tube's expression softens.)
|
| Salt
|
You guys! You're taking too much of our fame! Tighten it up!
|
| Lightbulb
|
Oooh, I forgot! Test Tube, Salt's fashion show is way more important.
|
| Pepper
|
Our fashion show. Our!
|
| Lightbulb
|
Hmmm... Yeah, see, I think Salt took care of it, and... you just sit back. I mean, you're just... like... there.
|
| Pepper
|
No! Me and Salt both pull our weight! We're exactly the same! Chives, don't you agree?!
|
| Chives
|
Of cou- (notices Salt glaring at him) Pardon, no... You're both right, umm... (puts down his plate of hors d'oeuvres and gets down on one knee in a begging position) Please, ladies, I'm just trying to do my job here.
|
| Test Tube
|
Actually, come to think of it... Salt's the EVIDENT leader! Pepper's just the parasite!
|
| Pepper
|
Parasite?!
|
| Salt
|
Well, I think what they're saying is... I'm the host, and you, uh... just... kinda latch on.
|
| (Cut to everyone else staring in shock.)
|
| Pepper
|
...Well, like... YOU..., better latch on for, you know, dear life! (Punches Salt off her throne)
|
| Salt
|
Ow!
|
| Lightbulb
|
Whoa, um, should we help them?
|
| Kumquat
|
"Serious-o'clock"?! (laughs) Whew, it's just too great!
|
| Salt
|
(with a small crack on her face) You've threatened me before. But YOU... don't have the GUTS!!!!
|
| (Pepper once again punches Salt, cracking her body through, and knocking her tooth out. Salt is sent flying through the sky, and then she gets sucked into Black Hole. Everyone else stares in shock as a furious. Pepper heavily pants, before noticing them.)
|
| Pepper
|
Y-you all saw! I tried to save her... (pants) but she had to go!
|
| Hay Bale
|
Oh, I can just weep forever!
|
| (The Inanimate Insanity Infinity contestants all cheer.)
|
| Test Tube
|
Oh my golly gee. We need to go, quick! (Lightbulb unties her.) Let's fix this!
|
| Lightbulb
|
(grabs Test Tube's time machine) Oh, this?
|
| Test Tube
|
No, not again!
|
| (Lightbulb channels electricity through her hand into the time machine, sending her and Test Tube back to the events of the first episode once more.)
|
| Test Tube
|
Huh. Well, I'll be. Maybe... Maybe there is a method to your madness.
|
| Lightbulb
|
Well, you know, things ain't so simple anymore. I think with all these quirkity-doos I have, I'm just... better off... latching on, right?
|
| Test Tube
|
Lightbulb, quirkity-don't say that! I was wrong! You don't stumble into solutions! You recognize them! After all, logic needs chaos too.
|
| Lightbulb
|
Thanks, but... I can't take you seriously if you keep using that word quirkity-doo.
|
| Test Tube
|
In fact, it needs it right now! Great Scott, that's us!
|
| Past Test Tube
|
Ugh, I totally jinxed it. (travels to the new timeline with Past Lightbulb)
|
| (Lightbulb notices Baxter crawling on her head and gets a thoughtful look on her face, eyeing the liquid seeping out of Test Tube's cracks.)
|
| Pepper
|
That was pathetic!
|
| (As MePhone4 laughs at Salt and Pepper, Lightbulb gets an idea. She whispers something to Test Tube, who smiles. They pour a drop of Test Tube's liquid on Baxter, turning him green. Lightbulb turns her mouth upside down, giving her a frightened expression instead of a delighted smile, and clandestinely drops Baxter in the water.)
|
| Test Tube
|
(pops up from behind a bush) Oh my golly! What is that?! (Salt and Pepper look at Baxter.) That's the venomous Baxterus Hyperbolica! (Everyone gasps.) Oh yes, highly radioactive!
|
| Salt and Pepper
|
(gasp) OMG!
|
| Lightbulb
|
You can't show that junk! Think of the lawsuits! Redo their jumps!
|
| MePhone4
|
Okay! Take two?
|
| (After a brief shot of a color bar, the scene cuts to Nickel running up the cliff.)
|
| Nickel
|
Wait, Taco! Don't do it! NO!
|
| (Taco kicks old Lightbulb into the elephant feces. Another color bar, then cut to Pepper falling into the feces.)
|
| Salt
|
Oh my God! I'll save you, Pepper!
|
| (Salt jumps off the cliff and lands on top of Pepper; they both sink in the feces. Lightbulb flips her mouth back to normal and Test Tube brings out her Time Machine and sends back to present day.)
|
| (Cut to the challenge. Fan is painting his egg while Paintbrush hasn't even started.)
|
| Paintbrush
|
Come on, Paintbrush! Just think of something!
|
| Fan
|
What's the problem, Paintbrush? (walks over to them) You know, you... You've really been eyeing your blank canvas.
|
| Paintbrush
|
I am an artist! I need opposition! See? (points to Baseball, who has a canvas full of black scribbles) Baseball knows what I mean! He can't paint anything either!
|
| Baseball
|
Observational painting. Just drawing what I see: Darkness. Nothing.
|
| (Shot of Suitcase looking guilty. Cut to Paintbrush picking up a handful of yellow paint and throwing it at the canvas.)
|
| Paintbrush
|
There! Now I have something to work with!
|
| Fan
|
(sing-song as he's getting another bucket of paint) Coping mechanism...
|
| Paintbrush
|
(sighs) What would MePhone like...? (gets an idea, gasps) That's it!
|
| (Cut to Suitcase and Microphone.)
|
| Suitcase
|
Hey, Microphone! What are you painting?
|
| Microphone
|
(painting the portal created by Test Tube's time machine) Uhh... zilch! W-why are you picking today to talk to me for the first time ever?
|
| Suitcase
|
(notices Baseball glaring at her) Alright, I guess I'm just touching nerves today then, okay... (walks away)
|
| (Cut to Knife, who is making graffiti art with a spray can.)
|
| Knife
|
Say, Microphone. Any reason you were running late to this challenge?
|
| Microphone
|
Uh, I got other places to be! What's it to you?
|
| Knife
|
Hmm. Tend to notice these things. (He shakes his spray can and continues to paint. Microphone looks concerned.)
|
| (Cut MePad and MePhone4. MePad is counting down the seconds on a timer.)
|
| MePhone4
|
Ten seconds left! Lightbulb and Test Tube better get here.
|
| (Test Tube and Lightbulb run up to the other contestants.)
|
| Fan
|
Test Tube!
|
| Paintbrush
|
Lightbulb!
|
| Lightbulb
|
We've got less than ten seconds! Say, couldn't we have come back sooner?
|
| Test Tube
|
No time to nitpick! Draw something abstract!
|
| (Test Tube scribbles a crescent moon on a canvas while Lightbulb throws the painting she made in the Inanimate Insanity Infinity timeline on an easel. MePad's timer reaches zero.)
|
| MePhone4
|
Time's up! (The contestants all stop painting.) Suitcase, let's start with you.
|
| Suitcase
|
Oh. Uh, yeah. (shows a depiction of her hallucination of dark shapes trying to grab her from the previous episode) This image has been etched into my mind since-
|
| MePhone4
|
(cutting her off) 6. Not too bad. Next is Paint- (trails off as he notices that Paintbrush has painted Steve Cobs) -brush...
|
| Paintbrush
|
(MePhone4 stares at the painting in horror as they explain) Well, I figured the most pragmatic approach for a challenge judged by you, MePhone4, would be to depict the creator of the Meeple Corp-
|
| MePhone4
|
(cutting them off) 0.
|
| Paintbrush
|
E-e-e-excuse me?! Did I not render him accurately enough?
|
| MePhone4
|
Oh, you definitely did. It's a zero, Paintbrush. Just accept it. Not everything needs an explanation.
|
| (Paintbrush starts to lose their temper. Test Tube, Lightbulb, and Suitcase warily back away.)
|
| Paintbrush
|
Yes... it... DOES!!!!!!
|
| (Paintbrush's bristles explode into flames, burning their painting to ashes.)
|
| Fan
|
Whoa! (folds himself to dodge the wave of fire)
|
| (Paintbrush calms down and looks around, and sees to their horror that all the paintings are in flames. The other contestants look out from behind a charred but still non-responsive Baseball.)
|
| MePhone4
|
Um, what did you just do?!
|
| Paintbrush
|
Oh, so now we suddenly need explanations?! I didn't mean it!
|
| MePhone4
|
Amazing. Well, Suitcase was the only one I scored, so I'll give her immunity, even though she doesn't deserve it. Judge her accordingly.
|
| Suitcase
|
(nervously, noticing Test Tube, Knife, Fan, and Baseball glaring at her) Great...
|
| (Cut to Microphone trying to sneak away.)
|
| Knife
|
(from behind her) In a hurry?
|
| Microphone
|
(laughs nervously) Well...
|
| (Microphone runs away. Knife watches her leave with suspicion.)
|
| (Cut to Fan and Test Tube drinking Dr. Fizz together on the vending machine.)
|
| Fan
|
We have time travel and won't use it again?! (pleadingly) But what about the thematic parallels?
|
| Test Tube
|
Too dangerous! And, not my fault the mission got disrupted. But... I did have fun.
|
| Fan
|
Fun with no answers? You sure you're not a Test Tube from an alternate timeline?
|
| (Test Tube laughs. Baseball walks past them.)
|
| Baseball
|
An alternate timeline? That's where I wish I was, because what's the point of this timeline when everyone's out to get you?! (continues walking)
|
| Test Tube
|
That's not logic or chaos. That's just-
|
| Fan
|
Being a jeebweezer?
|
| Test Tube
|
Yes!
|
| (Cut to the forest. Taco is standing on a stump. Microphone walks up behind her.)
|
| Microphone
|
Taco, I still want to talk about what happened in the lab, but for now we've got-
|
| Taco
|
A bigger problem, yes, I heard.
|
| Microphone
|
Knife must be onto us. Nothing we can't handle, right?
|
| Taco
|
I doubt he knows much in the way of specifics. I knew Knife. He was just a simple bully. He wouldn't-
|
| (Taco abruptly stops talking, shocked. Microphone warily looks behind her. Pan to reveal Knife spying on them from behind a bush.)
|
| Knife
|
(beat) ...Huh.
|
| (Knife walks away. Taco thinks for a few moments while Microphone looks concerned.)
|
| Taco
|
Very well then. I have a plan.
|
| (Cut to Paintbrush sitting sadly in the Calm-Down Corner. Lightbulb comes to see them.)
|
| Lightbulb
|
I'd tell you good luck, Painty, but who needs luck when we both got the skills that kills?
|
| Paintbrush
|
And our combined skills work... even if I get mad. So... I guess that makes them... mad skills?
|
| Lightbulb
|
(laughs heartily) Eh, I don't get it.
|
| Paintbrush
|
I'm sorry I said we shouldn't work together...
|
| Lightbulb
|
Yeah, uh... Yeah. Why did you say that?
|
| Paintbrush
|
I guess I'm just... used to doing things my own way. It's... hard to explain...
|
| Lightbulb
|
Eh, I think I'd get it. I gotchu, girrrr- Uhh... guy...? (Paintbrush raises an eyebrow, unamused) Wait, why are you doing that weird eyebrow thing? (counts on her fingers, then slaps her forehead) Oh! It's C, isn't it? None of the above!
|
| Paintbrush
|
(sighs) That's why I don't bring it up. I don't think they even know there is a C.
|
| Lightbulb
|
Really? (picks up Baxter) Well... Baxter here knows there's a C. He loves the C! Without it, he's just a rab.
|
| (Baxter blinks. Paintbrush and Lightbulb laugh until he pinches Lightbulb's finger.)
|
| Lightbulb
|
Ow! I hate rabs...
|
| (Paintbrush chuckles. Pan up to the sky, which hard cuts to night as the elimination is about to begin.)
|
| MePhone4
|
Alright. I've tallied the votes. The person with the most votes will be eliminated. I'll read the votes. (Knife looks at Microphone, who looks away. Paintbrush looks concerned.) First vote: Knife. (Knife rolls his eyes.) Paintbrush. Baseball. (Baseball is shocked and looks suspiciously at Suitcase. She looks back in confusion.) Microphone. One vote Knife, one vote Paintbrush, one vote Baseball, one vote Microphone. Knife. (Baseball looks at Knife, confused.) Paintbrush. (Paintbrush looks terrified.) Baseball. That's two votes Knife, two votes Paintbrush, two votes Baseball, one vote Microphone. One vote left. And the twelfth contestant voted out... Paintbrush.
|
| (Paintbrush looks disappointed while Baseball breathes a sigh of relief. Cut to Taco communicating with Microphone from a distance.)
|
| Taco
|
We made the right call. Knife would be spilling our beans right now if he received the boot. Now we have to make sure he sees reason.
|
| Microphone
|
(whispering) But I think he voted for me...!
|
| Suitcase
|
"First time we talked"... Pfft.
|
| (Paintbrush sighs and walks over to the portal. Lightbulb stops them.)
|
| Lightbulb
|
Hey! If you ever feel like you're at the bottom of the ocean, (brings out Baxter) just look at this crab, because... that's where he lived.
|
| Paintbrush
|
(looks at Baxter and then sighs, smiling) I got you.
|
| (Paintbrush and Lightbulb give each other finger guns, and they walk towards the portal. They turn around with a smile, Test Tube and Fan joining Lightbulb in waving them off. They enter the portal. Test Tube puts a comforting hand on Lightbulb's back.)
|
| (The credits roll over an instrumental and reprise of "Just Like Me!".)
|
| Lightbulb
|
- The person I now see
- Is a person who is just like me
- I mean, well, they're not just like me
- But why should we ever try to be
- In this place we call reality?
|
| (After the credits, three potential challenges are shown: cave mining, sand castle building, and treasure hunt.)
|
| MePhone4
|
Vote for one of these three options. The challenge with the most votes will be included.
|
| (Cut to Salt and Pepper lounging at Hotel OJ.)
|
| Pepper
|
Salt, do you ever think that like, we could rule the world if we wanted to?
|
| Salt
|
Yeah, but like, why bother?
|
| (The Rejection Portal materialises, and Paintbrush jumps out with Baxter.)
|
| Salt & Pepper
|
(unenthusiastically) Oh, hey...
|
| (Baxter blinks, and Salt and Pepper back away from him in terror while screaming.)
|
| All
|
Adamation!
|
| Pepper
|
So, thank you for stopping by. If you like me as much as I like me, check out some of my yummy videos. Like seriously, they're the best.
|
| Kumquat
|
Ahh, "serious-o'clock"... (laughing)
|
| Shell
|
Whoa, are we doing an outro? Finally something fun!
|
| Kumquat
|
Hi, I'm Kumquat!
|
| Pepper
|
No, I'm doing the outro, parasites! Out, out, out! (sighs) Can't keep those weirdos under control without Salt.
|
| Black Hole
|
No one can hear her in the abyss.
|
| Pepper
|
You're ruining the moment! (sighs) Anyway, my pepperanhas, hope you enjoyed, and don't forget to-
|
| Kumquat
|
Subscribe!
|
| Pepper
|
Ugh!
|
