| Character | Scene/Script |
|---|---|
| (The episode opens on OJ approaching Hotel OJ at night with two bags of groceries. Inside, the other Season 1 contestants are partying. OJ takes the groceries to the kitchen, where he's joined by Apple.) | |
| Apple | Hey, OJ! It's so nice not to be in Idiotic Island after you rescued me! |
| OJ | Well, I'm glad the million was put towards something we could all enjoy. |
| Marshmallow | I would enjoy it, you know, if Apple was still gone! |
| (Apple throws a glass at Marshmallow, causing her to scream and run away.) | |
| Apple | Much better! |
| OJ | Geez, Apple. After being isolated for so many months, I thought you'd be warmed up to Marshmallow by now. |
| Apple | Oh, I'll warm her up all right! (drops a lit match on Marshmallow) |
| OJ | How many times do I have to tell you guys, no fires in the hotel! |
| Lightbulb | (holding a match) Awww... |
| (Cut to Balloon graffitiing a silly picture of OJ onto the wall.) | |
| OJ | And stop putting graffiti on the walls! |
| (Balloon runs away. Cut to Pickle and Knife playing video games.) | |
| Pickle | Hey, you can't just jump on them, you have to shoot them! |
| Knife | Shoot this! (shoots Pickle in the video game) |
| Pickle | Man, you killed me! |
| (There is a knock on the door. OJ opens it to find Balloon.) | |
| Balloon | OJ, buddy! |
| OJ | Balloon, how many times do I have to tell you? You're not allowed in here! |
| Balloon | Well, you don't really have a choi- |
| (OJ closes the door. Cut to Lightbulb and Baseball by the snack table.) | |
| Baseball | Lightbulb, stop! You've eaten, like, fifty cookies already! |
| Lightbulb | Actually, I've eaten, like, fifty-three, and- (gulps, looks nauseous) |
| (Cut to Salt and Pepper. Salt is running on a treadmill.) | |
| Salt | How's my, like, time? |
| Pepper | Wait, I was supposed to be counting? |
| (Lightbulb vomits on Baseball off screen. He screams.) | |
| Salt | Like, whatevs. I'm getting a cookie. |
| Baseball | (walks up to them, covered in vomit) Don't. You. Dare. |
| (Time skips forward to the morning. Nickel walks in with a pile of letters on his head.) | |
| Nickel | Mail's here! |
| Knife | Give me those! (grabs mail, reads it) Another note from Taco. |
| Pickle | Ugh, I don't need her pity. Just throw it in the fire. |
| OJ | (hears an airplane outside) Huh? |
| (Bomb jumps into OJ's arms, screaming in fear.) | |
| Baseball | What's happening?! |
| Paintbrush | Guys, I think that's a... plane? |
| Nickel | Thanks, Mr. Obvious... I think. |
| Lightbulb | You mean Mrs. Obvious. Uh, nah nah nah, just playing, I really have no clue! |
| Baseball | Well, let's go see who it is! |
| (Cut to outside Hotel OJ. MePhone4, wearing a parachute, jumps off the plane, only for the parachute to not deploy until after he hits the ground.) | |
| OJ | Ummm... hi? |
| MePhone4 | Greetings and salutations! |
| Balloon | Uh... |
| MePhone4 | Well, it's great to see you too! I see you've done something impressive with your prize, OJ. |
| OJ | Thanks! |
| MePhone4 | And since we last saw each other, Adam agreed to let me have a personal assistant for the second season. I was told I'd meet him here. |
| Toilet | Hallo, is there a Mistah Phone here? (MePhone4 stares at him in shock.) Hallo, sir! Are you the Mistah Phone I was told to assist by Master Adam? |
| MePhone4 | (gets his phone and calls Adam) Adam, what is this... thing? |
| Adam | I'm guessing you're referring to your new assistant. That is Toilet. We couldn't really find anyone else who wanted to assist you for some reason. Weird, huh? So yeah, there you go. |
| MePhone4 | You can't be serious! (Adam hangs up) Hello? Hello!? |
| Toilet | Hallo! |
| Paper | Uhh... why are you here again? |
| MePhone4 | Oh, right, well... It's been two years since Inanimate Insanity was released. Cool, right? |
| Balloon | No, not really. |
| Marshmallow | Is that the only reason you flew here? Pretty terrible reason... |
| MePhone4 | Actually, it's not! Inanimate Insanity Season 2 is taking place right here! |
| OJ | No it's not! My winning hotel is here! And I'm telling you, it's not going anywhe- |
| (The plane crashes into Hotel OJ, and OJ shatters from shock. The new contestants fall out of the plane.) | |
| MePhone4 | And these are the new stereotypes! I-I mean, the Season 2 contestants. |
| Lightbulb | Oh, so you're replacing us with them? Really? |
| Cherries | What's wrong with us? |
| Cheesy | Yeah, that wasn't a bright thing to say! Hehe, get it? |
| Cherries | (laughs) Nice one! |
| Lightbulb | (groans) |
| MePhone4 | Okay, let's get to it! I want some of you, the old contestants, to join the game and battle alongside them! (stands in front of a slot machine with "Season 2" written on it and pictures of the Season 1 contestants on the slots) So check out this slot machine! Seven of you will join the game. It'll be decided by chance. |
| Toliet | Ooh! Ooh! Sir! Can I pull the lever? |
| MePhone4 | No, don't touch it, you filthy- Uh, I mean, uh... can you run and get me some, uh, some wires? |
| Toilet | Sure thing, Mistah Phone! |
| MePhone4 | It's MePhone! Ugh... |
| (MePhone4 pulls the lever on the slot machine. It spins and lands on Paintbrush.) | |
| MePhone4 | Paintbrush, welcome to Season 2! Have anything to say? |
| Paintbrush | Um... Well, actually, I had a question about- |
| MePhone4 | Okay, let's not waste any time! |
| (MePhone4 kicks Paintbrush away and pulls the lever again. The slot machine spins.) | |
| Lightbulb | It has to land on me! |
| (The slot machine lands on Knife.) | |
| Knife | Yeah! |
| Lightbulb | Is that- Oh, wait, that's not me, darn... |
| MePhone4 | Knife, welcome! |
| (The slot machine spins.) | |
| Lightbulb | It has to land on me! |
| Nickel | You already said that. I just hope it doesn't... (The slot machine lands on him.) ...land on me. Ugh. |
| (Lightbulb makes an astonished noise.) | |
| MePhone4 | Nickel, congrats. |
| (The slot machine spins.) | |
| Lightbulb | It has- |
| Balloon | (slaps Lightbulb) No! |
| (The slot machine lands on Lightbulb. She walks towards MePhone4, giggling from excitement.) | |
| MePhone4 | Lightbulb, you get- |
| Lightbulb | (interrupting) Yeah, yeah! |
| MePhone4 | Four spots left! |
| (The slot machine spins and lands on Bow, making a dramatic noise.) | |
| MePhone4 | Bow?! Great, another season with you. Oh wait, you're dead! |
| (The slot machine spins and lands on Balloon.) | |
| Balloon | Yes! I can't believe it! |
| (The other characters look shocked.) | |
| Salt | Like, OMG! You like, talked! |
| Balloon | Well, now that I joined the season, I figured I might as well start saying actual stuff again! |
| Salt | But, like, nobody, like, likes you, like. |
| Balloon | That's not true! |
| Toilet | Here's those wires you needed, Mistah Phone- (sees Balloon) Oh my gosh, Balloon, nobody likes you! |
| Balloon | Oh, come on! |
| (The slot machine spins and lands on Marshmallow.) | |
| Marshmallow | Yay! |
| Apple | Great! Now I don't have to deal with you anymore! |
| (The slot machine spins and lands on Apple.) | |
| Apple | What?! Can I quit? |
| MePhone4 | (picks up Apple) No. |
| Apple | But before you fling me, just tell me what "quit" means! |
| MePhone4 | (flings Apple away) This is the final spot. |
| (The slot machine spins and lands on Baseball.) | |
| Baseball | Oh, good! I really didn't get to do much last season! Now I can finally really compete! |
| MePhone4 | That's our Season 2 cast! |
| Paper | But our Season 1 winner is still dead! |
| MePhone4 | Oh, yeah, well, let's bring him back! (opens up the MeLife app and brings OJ back) |
| Fan | So that's how it works! |
| OJ | Wha...? What happened? |
| Paper | We didn't make Season 2! |
| OJ | Oh well. I don't really have a reason to be in Season 2. I mean I did win Season 1, so obviously I don't need to be in Season 2. It's fine, anyways. We can all chill in my-- (notices the plane crashed into the hotel) awe...some... hotel...! What's happened!? |
| Salt | It's okay, OJ, now we have plenty of time to fix up the hotel together. (Demonic voice) Forever! (grabs OJ's hand and drags him to the hotel) |
| OJ | Nooooooo! |
| Test Tube | This seems rather peculiar. I've never been on a competition before. |
| Trophy | Let's just get to the contest so I can cream these chumps and take the million! |
| Lightbulb | (whispering to Paintbrush) Wow, why is he saying that? Everyone knows the mean characters get out first! |
| Paintbrush | Mm-hmm, girl! |
| MePhone4 | Anyway, 19 contestants, one million dollars, this is Inanimate Insanity 2! |
| (intro plays) | |
| (The contestants and hosts are now at the challenge area.) | |
| Microphone | (unnecessarily loudly) So, what's the challenge?! |
| Suitcase | Oww! Mic, turn down the volume! |
| Microphone | (presses her power button) Sorry, that happens sometimes. |
| Toilet | Mistah Phone! I got your wires! |
| MePhone4 | These are just strings of half-eaten spaghetti! |
| Toilet | Oh, sorry, sir, I didn't have my lunch break. |
| MePhone4 | Since when did Adam give us lunch breaks? |
| Apple | So I wonder what the new contestants are doing! |
| Paintbrush | (to the new contestants) Hi there! |
| Lightbulb | (slaps Paintbrush) Stranger danger! |
| Microphone | Well, let's change that. I'm Microphone. As you can see, I... am a microphone! And you must be Paintbrush and Lightbulb! |
| Lightbulb | (whispering to Paintbrush) Wow! How did she know that? |
| MePhone4 | Okay, okay! You guys really need to socialize, so let's do some ice breakers! |
| Knife | Yeah! My fists can break the ice like butter! |
| Trophy | Like those pillows you call fists will break anything. |
| Tissues | Gwuys, I don't think that's what he meant. AH-CHOO! (sneezes on Trophy and sprays snot all over him) |
| Trophy | Gross, man! |
| Tissues | Sorry, it's my condiShAWn. |
| Soap | (wipes Trophy) Eww, germs! We must eliminate all of them at all costs! (laughs creepily) |
| Nickel | Neat freak. |
| Test Tube | Guys, ice breakers is a relative term for a way of bonding for two people that have never met. |
| MePhone4 | Yes, and I would have said that if you all didn't interrupt me! |
| Fan | I didn't interrupt you! I'm your biggest fan! |
| Cheesy | He's a fan! Get it? |
| Cherries | Okay, that's not funny... |
| Marshmallow | So what fun game are we gonna play to get to know each other? |
| MePhone4 | Oh, well, I literally meant ice breakers. We're headed over to the Gladstonian Glacier. |
| Marshmallow | Never heard of it. |
| MePhone4 | Well, now you have. |
| (Cut to the glacier, with MePhone4 and the contestants standing in front of it.) | |
| Test Tube | This doesn't apply to the definition I just explained. |
| MePhone4 | Your first challenge is to be the last one on the glacier. All pushing, shoving, kicking, and horseplay is especially allowed. |
| Trophy | Horseplay is my middle name. |
| Tissues | That's an odd middle name... |
| Toilet | Mistah Phone! |
| MePhone4 | Everyone shut up! |
| (Everyone goes quiet for a few moments, before Toilet speaks up.) | |
| Toilet | Mistah Pho-- |
| MePhone4 | Let's find out who the winner of the first challenge will be. Get set, on your mark, go! |
| Paintbrush | First things first. (pops Balloon) There we go! |
| Yang | I think we need to move over more to the left. |
| Yin | No! We should move over to the right! |
| Yang | No! I hate you! |
| Yin | I hate you too! (punches himself) |
| Soap | (cleaning the ice) Scrubbing, scrubbing, all day long! (laughs creepily) |
| (Yin-Yang walks into Soap, pushing her off the ice, and then walks off as well.) | |
| Tissues | Um, Trophy Horseplay, I think that we should like, form an alliance. |
| Trophy | Yeah, and I think, like, you should die! (kicks Tissues off the iceberg) I'd rather form an alliance with Mr. Sharp Guy over there! (approaches Knife) You seem tough. |
| Knife | Nope, I'm not interested. |
| Trophy | Excuse me? |
| Knife | Sorry, but you and I are quite... different. |
| Trophy | Um, how? We're both jocks. |
| Knife | No, you're a jock, and I'm a jerk. Big difference. |
| Trophy | Fine, we'll settle this like men, with the ultimate- |
| (Knife grunts and punches Trophy off the ice. Elsewhere, Lightbulb is holding her breath.) | |
| Fan | Um, are you okay? |
| Lightbulb | Of course! I'm just following the rules of object shows! As long as I'm not mean to anybody or interact with anything, I'll be safe! OMGA! You made me interact with you! What do I do?! (slaps Fan off) |
| Baseball | Nickel! |
| Nickel | Ahh! Don't push me off! |
| Baseball | No, I-I wasn't going to do that. I was just saying that we have to form an alliance! I mean, OJ and Taco made it so far last season with that method. I think that we would be smart if we did that too! |
| Nickel | How original! |
| Baseball | I know! Anyway, two people isn't gonna cut it. |
| Cheesy | Wow, that idea really hits out of the park! Any way I can join? |
| Nickel | (sighs) Of course you can! (Baseball looks confused.) But in order to join, you have to look in the opposite direction. |
| Cheesy | (turns around) Wow, that idea was really worth more than five cents! |
| (Nickel nods and Baseball kicks Cheesy off. Cut to Test Tube, who is standing at the edge of the ice.) | |
| Test Tube | Wow! This water seems almost near freezing! My approximate calculation would be... 33 degrees Fahrenheit! |
| Knife | We didn't ask for a chemistry lesson! |
| Test Tube | Science rules! |
| (Cut to Box standing motionlessly for a few moments. Lightbulb turns to him.) | |
| Lightbulb | Wow, you're really good at this non-interacting thing! How do you pull it off? (Box remains silent.) A true master indeed. (looks around, then knocks Box off) |
| (Cut to Apple walking up to Marshmallow.) | |
| Apple | Marshmallow, you are so getting out! |
| Marshmallow | Well, you're so getting in! (punches Apple off) |
| (Cut to Knife and Baseball.) | |
| Knife | Baseball, I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to push you off! |
| Baseball | Uh, okay...? |
| Knife | (tries to push Baseball off, but fails) No fair! Your fatness is too much to handle! |
| Baseball | (takes a deep breath) (yelling) I'm! Not! Fat! (kicks Knife off, then breathes heavily before turning to Nickel) (cheerfully) So who's gonna join our alliance now? |
| Suitcase | (skates up to them) Hi! I'm sorry Knife was so mean to you, but I'll join your alliance! |
| Nickel | Hmm... I'm trying to find something wrong with you. Give me a second. (Suitcase glares at him.) |
| Baseball | Yeah, well, you're armless just like us. I think you're the perfect candidate! |
| Suitcase | Alright! |
| Nickel | (sarcastically) Yay for social cliques... |
| (Cut to Cherries and Paintbrush.) | |
| Left Cherry | (to Right Cherry) You won't push me off, will you? |
| Right Cherry | Of course not. But what about that thing? (points to Paintbrush) |
| Left Cherry | Ew, what is that thing? |
| Paintbrush | Uhhh... |
| (Paintbrush backs away and unintentionally elbows Microphone's power button. She screams and blows Marshmallow, Nickel, Paintbrush, Suitcase, and Cherries off the ice.) | |
| Lightbulb | Wow, my plan is working perfectly! (sees the ice breaking underneath Microphone, between her and Baseball) Oh, um... |
| Microphone | Oh no... (falls in the crack in the ice and screams, shortcircuiting in the water) |
| Lightbulb | Baseball, this is going to be kinda hard to win now. (tries to reach for him) I can't reach! |
| Baseball | What a coincidence, I can't either! |
| MePhone4 | Well, the ice has been broken. I think you two just earned the spot of team captain! |
| Lightbulb | Yeah! |
| Baseball | Can I choose the teams first? |
| Lightbulb | OMGA, I think not! |
| MePhone4 | Actually, we're selecting the teams based on the order you all got out in the challenge. The odd numbers are on Baseball's team and the even numbers are on Lightbulb's team. |
| Knife | Aww, I'm so sad we don't have Paintbrush. She's tall. She could come in handy someday. |
| Nickel | Paintbrush is a girl? |
| Paintbrush | Yeah! (pause) I'm on that team! (points to Lightbulb's team) |
| Baseball | Wow, that all happened so fast! Hi, Team Baseball! |
| Nickel | Uh, why is it Team Baseball? That kinda contradicts the team dynamic, you know? |
| MePhone4 | Okay, you both can choose a team name! |
| Lightbulb | Just 'cause we're so epic, how 'bout Team E- |
| Marshmallow | No! We are not going to be called Team Epic again! |
| Lightbulb | Fine! Hmmm... Well, just because we're so bright... (Cheesy slides in and slaps his knee.) and because we light up this game... (Cheesy slaps his knee.) we should be the Bright Lights! (Cheesy slaps his knee.) |
| MePhone4 | You're the Bright Lights! |
| Baseball | Since we're gonna hit this challenge out of the park... (Cheesy slaps his knee.) we're going to be the Grand Slams! |
| Cheesy | (slaps knee) Ow! |
| MePhone4 | You're the Grand Slams! Anyway, the first team challenge is a friendly game of dodgeball. |
| Tissues | But I'm so tired! And my condiShAWn's getting worse! |
| (Tissues sneezes on Soap, and she runs away screaming.) | |
| MePhone4 | Each team gets dodgeballs. If you hit a player on the opposite team, they are out. However, if they catch it, you are out. |
| Nickel | (sarcastically) Well, no arms is going to make it easy to catch them! |
| MePhone4 | So go! Now! |
| Paintbrush | First things first. (kicks dodgeball at Balloon) There we go! |
| Trophy | Just give all the balls to me. |
| Cheesy | You'd like that, wouldn't you? Hehe, get it? |
| Microphone | Don't go there. |
| Trophy | You cheesy twerp! (throws a dodgeball at Cheesy) |
| Knife | Trophy! How could you hit your own team?! (throws dodgeball at Trophy) |
| Baseball | Everybody, please hit the members of the opposite team! |
| Lightbulb | Nah nah nah, carry on! We don't mind! |
| Baseball | Well, I do! (kicks a ball at Lightbulb, who catches it) |
| Lightbulb | Pretty cool, right? They're called arms! |
| Baseball | Ugh! |
| (Nickel kicks a ball, but Paintbrush catches it.) | |
| Paintbrush | One step ahead of you, Nickel. Arms! |
| Nickel | (disappointed) Eh... |
| Suitcase | Oh no, my alliance is gone! I'll avenge them by following in their footsteps! (kicks a ball, but Test Tube catches it) |
| Test Tube | Arms! |
| Suitcase | (walking away) Well that was unexpected... |
| Soap | Guys, these dodgeballs are so dirty! What if we get a disease!? |
| Knife | I'm pretty sure that won't happen. |
| Soap | Step aside, man. Let the professional handle this. (wipes off the ball, then throws it at Apple) |
| Marshmallow | Nice shot! |
| Soap | Thanks! You really think it was? (Marshmallow throws a dodgeball at her, causing her to scream.) |
| Left Cherry | Box is going down! (Right Cherry throws a ball at Box.) |
| Right Cherry | Oh, wow, that actually worked! |
| Fan | Marshmallow! There's something I've always wanted to ask you! |
| Marshmallow | Not the best time, Fan... |
| Fan | J-just real quick! Why don't you use your time machine and- |
| Marshmallow | Look out! (They both get hit by balls.) |
| Knife | Microphone, we're the only two left! |
| Microphone | I have an idea. (turns up her volume and screams, but nothing happens) |
| Knife | That did nothing but make me deaf! |
| Lightbulb | Quick, everyone, use your pelvis- I mean, your arms to get them! |
| Knife | But, we have a- (gets hit by a ball) |
| Microphone | Oh no, everybody on my team's out! (pushes power button) Except me! |
| (Microphone screams, distracting the Bright Lights, and throws two dodgeballs into the air. After a few moments, the balls come down and bounce off every Bright Light.) | |
| MePhone4 | Wow, what a macro win for a microphone! (Cheesy slaps his knee.) So, one of the Bright Lights is going home, viewers. Vote for one member of the Bright Lights to be eliminated. But do not vote in the comments! |
| Toilet | Why not? |
| MePhone4 | Because voting is now on inanimateinsanity.com. Use the link in the description. Simply click on the vote button of the contestant you dislike the most. Voting ends on April 8th. |
| (The credits roll.) | |
| (After the credits, cut to Paper standing on a ladder in front of Hotel OJ.) | |
| Paper | Okay! I think every window is repaired! (A dodgeball comes flying out of nowhere and breaks a window.) Oh... |
Skip to content
1,238
pages