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"I think I finished... about half."

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Yet another astonishingly original choice, my dear madams.

—Alternate Reality Show

Chives is a minor character on Inanimate Insanity Infinity, who makes his debut in "Alternate Reality Show". He is voiced by Niall Burns.


Chives acts as a butler for both Salt and Pepper. He is seen willing to do just about anything for them as he helps indoctrinate Test Tube. He also is seen trying to be on both Salt and Pepper's sides once they start auguring, but this might be out of fear or just willing to do his job considering he starts smiling as soon Pepper punches Salt.


Chive appears to be a round, cream-white colored Eurasian Chive, with the roots on the top of his head being green.



  • Not counting his roots, he can be considered the smallest character on the show, following Bow.
  • It is unknown if Chives is an actual contestant on Inanimate Insanity Infinity or just a butler.
  • Chives' name is likely a reference to the name Jeeves, which is a name commonly used as a synonym for a personal manservant.