| Character
|
Scene/Script
|
| (The Elimination Area falls from the sky along with MePhone4 and 4S. They land near the quicksand pit, near OJ and Taco.)
|
| MePhone4
|
I need a vacation...
|
| (MePhone5 teleports to the other two MePhones.)
|
| MePhone4S
|
You can pack your puny bags later!
|
| (OJ and Taco decorate trees for the challenge.)
|
| Taco
|
(throws ornaments onto tree)
|
| OJ
|
She's so quick, and agile. That's not the Taco I've been competing with. (throws ornaments onto tree) How is she doing so well?
|
| Tree
|
Why you askin' me?
|
| (Taco runs through the cacti desert.)
|
| Tyler Bungard
|
Before you pass, you must answer a riddle!
|
| (Taco kicks Tyler out the way. She jumps in the water and comes out with the golden coin, and kicks a cardboard OJ. She is tasked with getting an eliminated contestant.)
|
| Nickel
|
Oh, uh... Try to catch me, and put me in the bin.
|
| Taco
|
Um...
|
| Nickel
|
You know what? (walks into bin) No worries.
|
| Taco
|
Sour cream!
|
| (OJ at the Cacti Desert.)
|
| Tyler Bungard
|
Before you pass, you must answer a riddle!
|
| OJ
|
Okay...?
|
| Tyler Bungard
|
What is the one thing that can help you in your time of need, can lead you to accomplishing your goals, and has everything?
|
| OJ
|
Hmm... Of course! Wal-Mart! Wal-Mart has everything!
|
| Tyler Bungard
|
It sure does!
|
| (OJ jumps in the water, with the cork, and comes out with the golden coin. He is tasked with getting an eliminated contestant...)
|
| OJ
|
Um...?
|
| Nickel
|
Uh, catch Bomb and put him in the bin.
|
| (Bomb runs away screaming.)
|
| OJ
|
Ugh! (runs after him)
|
| (Taco does the Tile Terror challenge quickly. She sees the finish line...)
|
| Taco
|
YES!!
|
| (OJ prepares to do the Tile Terror challenge.)
|
| OJ
|
Oh no... this is a lot harder without Paper!
|
| (Taco rolls to the finish line, howling, when she is attacked by a feral Bow.)
|
| Taco
|
Bow?!
|
| (Bow laughs evilly.)
|
| Taco
|
Ahh!
|
| (Taco kicks Bow. Bow gets angry and fights with Taco. Meanwhile, OJ lands on the last tile.)
|
| OJ
|
What the...?
|
| (OJ sees Bow fighting Taco.)
|
| OJ
|
I'm not gonna ask.
|
| (Taco kicks Bow to the bleachers, sending Baseball flying. Bow hisses at Marshmallow.)
|
| Marshmallow
|
Woah! Easy there, Bow! Uh... remember when you gave me this chair?
|
| (Bow returns to normal.)
|
| Bow
|
Chairs! (hugs the chair) Oh, how I missed you... Wait. Chairs? OMG, these are so, like, last year.
|
| (Bow breaks the chair.)
|
| (OJ catches up with Taco, and they run towards the finish line. He starts to overtake her.)
|
| Taco
|
NOOO!! Peh!
|
| (Taco spits a lollipop at OJ, knocking him over and spilling his juice.)
|
| Taco
|
Hah!
|
| (Taco slips on the orange juice.)
|
| (OJ and Taco eye each other, and run for the finish line. At times, the two push each other back. They jump for the finish line. A brief moment of suspense, and OJ is shown to be past the finish line.)
|
| OJ
|
I did it! I won Inanimate Insanity!
|
| (The contestants (expect Balloon) cheer for OJ and lift him into the air.)
|
| Taco
|
(in a British accent) Stop cheering, you fools!
|
| (The contestants stop cheering.)
|
| OJ
|
Um... what?
|
| Taco
|
This is all wrong. I was built to win, my plan was perfect!
|
| Balloon
|
What?!
|
| Lightbulb
|
Ex-squeeze me?
|
| Taco
|
Yes, you were all utterly fooled. Did you honestly think that I was that half witted? I merely pretended to be an idiot. Not to be seen as a threat, and to make the viewers like me more.
|
| Pickle
|
What? I don't understand...
|
| Taco
|
Of course you don't! You were never really my friend. You were just part of my cover!
|
| OJ
|
Hey! Lay off Pickle, British... Taco?
|
| Taco
|
So be it. It wasn't his fault my strategy fell short of success anyway. It was that demented pink headgear's!
|
| Bow
|
Yeah. Whoever that is, shame on them.
|
| Taco
|
It's you, you dolt! But luckily enough, MePhone is nowhere to be seen. And I'm not gonna let Bow stop my plan from completion!
|
| (Taco grabs the case with the $1,000,000 in it.)
|
| OJ
|
Hey! Come back!
|
| (Taco runs away with the case with the $1,000,000 in it, but MePhone5 grabs the case with the $1,000,000 in it.)
|
| Knife
|
Is that MePhone5?
|
| Nickel
|
(sarcastically) Wow! What an unexpected guest!
|
| MePhone5
|
Million dollar achieved.
|
| MePhone4S
|
No way José!
|
| MePhone4
|
Wait, 4S, don't!
|
| (MePhone4S kicks MePhone5, and the case with the $1,000,000 in it flies out of his hands. MePhone5 shoots MePhone4S and MePhone4 with paint.)
|
| MePhone4
|
Gah!
|
| (MePhone4 is sent flying over the cliff and grabs the edge. Zoom out to reveal that it's a precarious drop. Adam then calls him, with "It's A Ball" playing, and MePhone4 picks it up on a smaller MePhone.)
|
| Adam
|
MePhone! What is going on?!
|
| MePhone4
|
Ugh, Adam. This isn't really the best time! It's rather cliché and ironic timing actually...
|
| (MePhone4 drops the phone, and it falls in water. The phone short-circuits.)
|
| Marshmallow
|
Oh no! If only there was someone who was stupid and crazy enough to go take him down!
|
| (Bow is standing right next to Marshmallow, grinning. Marshmallow gets an idea.)
|
| Bow
|
Hi, Marshmallow-
|
| (Marshmallow puts Bow in her box, making her friend turn feral.)
|
| Paper
|
MePhone!
|
| (MePhone5 knocks Paper down, then stabs MePhone4's hand with a knife.)
|
| MePhone4
|
Ah!
|
| MePhone5
|
Let go from the cliff. I know this hurts.
|
| (Meanwhile, Taco grabs the case with the $1,000,000 in it and runs off.)
|
| OJ
|
Oh no!
|
| (OJ runs after Taco and knocks her down, grabbing her.)
|
| Taco
|
What?! Unhand me, you uncultured breakfast beverage!
|
| OJ
|
I will not be threatened by Mexican food!
|
| (MePhone4S gets an idea.)
|
| MePhone5
|
When will you see? I am destined to be your replacement. You're DVD, and I'm Blu-Ray.
|
| (Marshmallow releases Evil Bow. Meanwhile, MePhone4S grabs Taco and cocks her like a gun.)
|
| MePhone4S
|
Well, in that case... Hasta la vista, Blu-Ray... You belong in VCR-land!
|
| (Taco spits her last lemon. The lemon hits Bow and MePhone5, causing them to fall from the same cliff that MePhone4 is hanging from and sending the case with the $1,000,000 in it flying. They hit MePhone4 on the way down, causing him to lose his grip, and all three land in the water. The MePhones short-circuit and explode, taking Bow with them. Paintbrush, Marshmallow, and Baseball look on in shock. Fade to black.)
|
| Paintbrush
|
No, MePhone!
|
| Baseball
|
Oh, how could this happen?!
|
| Marshmallow
|
And there's no way to bring him back...
|
| MePhone4S
|
Maybe there is a way...
|
| (Baseball and Marshmallow look at each other.)
|
| (Cut to sunset.)
|
| MePhone4S
|
Here, I cannot self-terminate. You must slide to downgrade me to MeOS 4.
|
| Baseball
|
And you think this'll bring back MePhone4?
|
| MePhone4S
|
Correct.
|
| Siri
|
No, I order you not to go! I order you not to go!
|
| MePhone4S
|
I'm sorry, Siri. I know now why I was a bad guy... but it's something I can never undo...
|
| (The contestants nod.)
|
| MePhone4S
|
Goodbye...
|
| (Paintbrush swipes to downgrade, and MePhone4S collapses. He rises as MePhone4.)
|
| Paintbrush
|
...MePhone?
|
| MePhone4
|
(in Christian Potenza's voice) Ow! What happened?
|
| (Paintbrush screams in shock, while Knife throws a rock at MePhone4.)
|
| MePhone4
|
(in his normal voice) Wha- What? What happened?
|
| Marshmallow
|
MePhone's alive!
|
| MePhone4
|
But... how?
|
| Baseball
|
MePhone4S was able to give his body up for you!
|
| Nickel
|
I guess deep down, MePhone4S did have some good in him after all.
|
| MePhone4
|
Well then, I hope there weren't any side effects from 4S's transformation...
|
| MePhone4's hand
|
Hello!
|
| MePhone4
|
That's gonna take some getting used to.
|
| (As the objects look at MePhone4, amazed, Taco runs away. Marshmallow's MePhone rings.)
|
| Marshmallow
|
Uh, Adam's calling!
|
| MePhone4
|
(takes the phone and answers the call)
|
| Adam
|
MePhone, you let everything go completely out of control!
|
| MePhone4
|
Look, I'm sorry. I guess I won't be hosting next season.
|
| Adam
|
What?! No! With all the mass hysteria, our ratings hit an all-time high! Please host again for Season 2! I'll raise your pay 20%!
|
| MePhone4
|
Hm... (walks away while talking to Adam) Well, I want my own personal assistant.
|
| Adam
|
Done!
|
| (Paper walks up to a saddened OJ.)
|
| Paper
|
Hey, buddy. So, it must suck, not getting the million. After all the work you put in...
|
| OJ
|
Ugh... Well, what are you gonna do?
|
| MePhone4
|
Wait a minute. What do you mean?
|
| OJ
|
The million dollars, it's gone.
|
| MePhone4
|
Wait, you mean the case? The money's in the bank, not the case! (music stops, OJ is shocked) What kind of idiot would put a million bucks in a suitcase?
|
| OJ
|
Well, I wouldn't put it past you.
|
| MePhone4
|
(slaps OJ)
|
| Pickle
|
So what are you gonna spend the million on, OJ?
|
| (OJ walks to the cliff.)
|
| OJ
|
Y'know, sometimes people let greed take over their lives...
|
| Nickel
|
Oh boy... here he goes!
|
| OJ
|
People put all their efforts into doing something to give them a sense of purpose. Whether it is becoming a millionaire, or going on a murderous rampage. I think in 4S's last moments, he realized what it is that really makes you feel fulfilled, and I think I have too.
|
| Knife
|
Yeah yeah... enough with the six-hour speeches! What is it?
|
| OJ
|
It's whether or not a person has some nice friends around them for support. Sometimes life can get about as crappy as a cliff-dive into elephant feces.
|
| Paintbrush
|
Ew...
|
| OJ
|
And your friends are the only ones there to make the hard times not so bad. So I'm gonna put the million dollars towards something for all of us.
|
| Contestants
|
Awww!
|
| OJ
|
'Cause there's nothing more valuable than friendship!
|
| Tyler Bungard
|
(appears next to OJ and looks at him threateningly)
|
| OJ
|
Er... other than Wal-Mart, I suppose...
|
| MePhone4
|
Aaaaand... also for winning Inanimate Insanity, you get a cookie!
|
| OJ
|
Oh, really? I do?
|
| MePhone4
|
Yup! Here it is! (holds up a cookie)
|
| OJ
|
Woah, seriously?!
|
| MePhone4
|
Go on. (tosses OJ the cookie)
|
| Nickel
|
So someone's finally gonna taste one of MePhone's cookies, huh?
|
| Lightbulb
|
Oh my gosh! OJ! Tell us what it tastes like!
|
| (The others watch OJ eat the cookie, but he spits it out.)
|
| OJ
|
It tastes like crap! Oh my gosh, did you bake these?
|
| MePhone4
|
All by myself!
|
| (Shot of the contestants. The end. The Finale Credits play.)
|
| (After the credits, cut to Apple, who is still on Idiotic Island.)
|
| Apple
|
Uh... hello?! Did everyone just forget about me?! I'm lonely... Wait, what does 2 mean? (winks)
|
