Gordon: Well hello inanimate nation, it is I, your friendly neighborhood Inanimate Insanity guy Gordon Holmes here, with your exit interview for Inanimate Insanity Invitational episode 17.
We're going to be talking with our final juror from the penultimate episode in just a minute. But before we get into that uh- the comment section is open as always uh- be nice to each other be nice to the contestants and be nice to me. I'm sensitive. Uh- with that being said, Nickel, welcome to the show and I got to say, I'm so, so sorry, uh- your loss, it's entirely on me. You were my winner pick from day one and I just never had a lucky streak with that.
Nickel: Hey, all good. Luck can be the worst, believe me. I learned that the hard way. Yeah.
Gordon: Cool, all right let's get into it Nickel,
Question 1: How does it feel to be eliminated from Inanimate Insanity for the third time?
Nickel: I don't like to see it as being eliminated three times, instead, I like to not see it, close my eyes, and picture a better question.
Gordon: Hey you got it champ. You know, we've seen you get over so many hurdles over your three seasons,
Question 2: If you could change one thing from your time on the show, what would it be?
Nickel: I'm sure there are a lot of things people are expecting me to say I regret, and I do, but you're probably going to ask me about them later anyway, so I'm going to go with that time we uh- oh, graded Cheesy alive to make a pizza, yeah, uh- seemed like a great idea (pun intended of course), but in hindsight, yeah, it was pretty messed up, yeah. It was a different time Gordon.
Gordon: Oh yeah I remember the days where Balloon had a Justin Bieber censor on his face, you know, different times indeed.
Question 3: Oh, speaking of Balloon, how does it feel to have gone so far with him?
Gordon: We're talking about the contestant you had a world-renowned rivalry with, and now he is what? You're- you're closest friend? In your most successful season? How does that happen!?
Nickel: It honestly feels like such a weight lifted off, which is funny cause he's weightless and always lifting off. Look, no one's more surprised than me. At the start of the season, when Balloon proposed working together, I was like "sure, whatever, good for this vote and play it safe", but I wanted to keep my distance, too much history you know, but then I realized, I was the one writing that history, and it was on me to own up to how I treated him. To fix it, as my favorite poet once said, "it was a long trek", but it was worth it.
Gordon: Oh he's my favorite too, I would absolutely buy a Balloon poetry book, get him on that if you get a chance, but that does remind me, there was a THIRD person in your little Sinkers alliance early on. I do want to say my heart is with Box, just thinking about that fifth challenge puts knots in my stomach.
Question 4: Uh- do you have any updates on his recovery at the hospital?
Nickel: I think it's safe to say that what happened to Box was really hard on all of us. I've gone into that waiting room a bunch of times now, but every time they ask me who I'm there to see, I just can't bear to say his name, because that would make him being there, real. I honestly don't think I'm ready to talk about it any more than that, and you know what, I shouldn't have to! It's such an exploitative question! How dare you ask me this! Do better Gordon Holmes. Do better.
Gordon: Hey, I'm really sorry Nickel, I'm not trying to start anything but- but I get it. The feelings are raw, real raw, so let's get away from II and all the craziness for a second.
Question 5: How do you feel about an alternate version of yourself, existing in a competition show?
Nickel: Is this some sort of comment on my personal growth? If so, appreciate the sentiment, confused by the wording.
Gordon:Okay well, you know, maybe we should just stick to the game. Uh- When Clover gave you her magical luck powers, I was surprised by how much you hated it! If it were me, I'd be running around, carefree in the streets, living out all of my wrestling fantasies,
Question 6: But now that the luck is gone, do you regret not using it for some better cause?
Nickel: Well, I saw the whole luck thing as this unstoppable advantage that, I didn't earn, which made the entire game, almost feel, pointless. Like, if I was going to win I wanted to deserve it. But beyond that, having a mysterious cosmic force controlling everything I said or did, that made my life feel pointless. Terrifying! And let's not forget, a bunch of us ended up dying just because she wanted an award! Clover was right though. All I could see was the harm it could do to me, not the help it could've given others. Plus, I probably should've gotten a lottery ticket, or two, or 80.
Gordon: Hey, if she's looking to give anyone some magic powers, hit me up! Uh- we can go 50-50 on a ticket, open offer, uh- but I think that's a great question I- I hope you two are good now after everything.
Question 7: Is there any chance you'll be visiting her for future therapy sessions?
Nickel: Just because I was lying on a couch and opening up about all my insecurities doesn't mean I'd call it a therapy session. I mean, I'm on a couch right now. Heh, does that make THIS therapy too? Does it? DOES IT?? (sigh) 4:15 next Thursday.
Gordon: Honestly, I think it'll do you some good. I'm sure anyone going through a game like this will have a bunch of regrets to work through. I mean-
Question 8: Do you have a biggest regret?
Gordon: Like, you know, getting banned from the Pic-Nix Tables or the self-defeating way you used Clover's luck or- or even the terrifying violent Box incident.
Nickel: Wooh. Alright, all top shelf regrets. Honestly, thanks for reminding me of everything I did wrong Gordon! Let me ask you, are you perfect? Up-up, didn't answer me fast enough! He can dish it but he can't take it! Heh. Okay, anyway, I touched on most of these already but getting banned from the Pic-Nix Tables was pretty terrible. It was an eternal all-you-can-eat buffet! And I lost out on it because I was uh- trying to prove a point? Not one of my better ideas. Atleast Test Tube got that ban lifted for me. MePhone4 seems to have forgotten banning me by now too- Wait, he doesn't watch these, does he? Uh- I take it back. Biggest regret was answering this question.
Gordon: I think we can distract him with our fan-favorite recurring segment here on Inanimate Radio, we do a word association here here to get to know your teammates a little bit better. I'll give you someones name, give me the first word or couple words that pop into your head and if my research is correct, and occasionally it is, you've played with just about everyone, so this might take a moment. Lets start off with:
Gordon: Balloon.
Nickel: Next.
Gordon: Fair enough, how about Candle?
Nickel: Purple.
Gordon: Now there's no wrong answers but I also need you to give me something here, anything. Uh- Yin-Yang.
Nickel: Heh, okay. Uh- kind of really funny.
Gordon: Lifering.
Nickel: Loud.
Gordon: How about Box?
Nickel: Bro for life!
Gordon: OJ.
Nickel: Cool house.
Gordon: Cabby.
Nickel: Cheated.
Gordon: Blueberry.
Nickel: Cheated part two.
Gordon: Test Tube.
Nickel: Kind of less crazy than you think.
Gordon: Tea Kettle.
Nickel: Hors d'oeuvres, oooh. Hors d'oeuvres!
Gordon: Fan.
Nickel: Didn't really play with him. Uh- he likes, eggs?
Gordon: Paintbrush.
Nickel: Team Epic Legend! WOO!
Gordon: Silver Spoon.
Nickel: Super, SUPER, impressive ego. Just, enormous.
Gordon: Bot.
Nickel: Uh- yeah, sorry- about the, boot.
Gordon: Clover.
Nickel: Pretty chill, actually.
Gordon: Goo.
Nickel: (sighs) Hoo. Ray.
Gordon: Hey! You finally said it!
Nickel: It's the first thing that came to my mind okay?
Gordon: Ha! Gotcha! Totally gotcha! Oh man, awesome. Now, to round things out I'm really curious about two contestants you didn't play with this season,
Question 9: Do you remember your pals, Baseball and Suitcase?
Nickel: No Gordon, why would I remember my closest allies from last season?
Gordon: Well, hey exactly- but- but now you made a new friend in Balloon, uh- last time you saw them you and Balloon were bitterly feuding, all this juicy drama, so I'm just wondering how you think they'll react when they learn that you two went from rivals to an unstoppable power duo.
Nickel: Oh dang! That's good stuff. I didn't even think of that. The look on their faces if we just walk in with those nerdy best friend T-shirts. Heh. Yeah, it's weird. As much fun as I've had this season, I do really miss my buddy Baseball. We did everything together! Kind of crazy that I'm being grouped in with someone else now.
Gordon: Right! Even that freaky machine generated episode from the last challenge declared that your personality, is Balloon's right hand coin! Basically a spare change..
Nickel: Hey, hey. Let's be clear, it goes both ways, Gordon Holmes. And then there is Suitcase. Yeah, not the most comfortable situation... But if I've learned anything from my time with Balloon, maybe actually talking about it and owning up to my mistakes, could, smooth things over. Or maybe not, I don't know, not always the luckiest with this stuff. But, that's fine. Being a good friend is a lot of work, so if not, oh well. Two real close friends is probably enough.
Gordon: Well Nickel, if I may, I think after this interview you can for sure bump that number up to three.
Nickel: (gasp) G-Gordon Holmes! Friendship!? Say it ain't so.
Gordon: I do say it is so Nickel, I've seen your work around the Pic-Nix Tables after the ban and I would LOVE to grab a snack after this.
Nickel: Sounds awesome, let's do it!
Gordon: Oh, real quick, let me sign off, uh- that will be it for this installment of Exit Interviews, thank you so much for speaking with me today Nickel, it was a real privilege to talk to a three-time legend. Uh- just you know not to brag, but I have a coin collection back home, in your honor.
Nickel: Sounds, terrifying!
Gordon: And of course a huge thanks to our inanimate audience for giving this a watch, and please be sure to subscribe and look out for the next opportunity to send in your questions, which could very well be read here, uh- when we speak to the finalists.
[Outro.]