| Episode | Gallery | Transcript |
Looney Balloonies[]
Balloon: Dazzle me!
Bot: Gladly.
[Amazing beat-boxing skills go!!!]
Bot: YEAH!!!
Balloon: Whoa.
Nickel: Heh. That all ya got? Try this.
Nickel: (Screams)
Balloon: (Laughs) Incredible! I’ll be taking both alliance theme-songs into consideration.
Nickel: So... uh... Any updates on building back our numbers?
Balloon: Absolutely! After attempt-seven of Operation Sway-Paintbrush, they said... “Maybe one day!”
Bot: WOOO! Go Looney Balloonies!
Balloon and Nickel: LOONEY BALLOONIES!!
Balloon: (In the Calm-Down Cabana) Down in the numbers or not, I love that we can finally play OUR way! Today’s going to be great!
Soon To Betrayal[]
Inner-Flame: Today is the day of betrayal.
[Flamina bumps into Candle]
Candle: (Screams)
Flamina: (Screams)
MePhone: (Screams)
Crushing The Party[]
MePhone: Please, hurry!
Bot: Whoa! Adorable little monsters!
MePhone: Adorable?! They RUINED my half-birthday party! Last night, after I passed out eating the mile high pies-
Cabby: You mean this rotting ice cream from SEVERAL challenges ago...?
MePhone: Not important. These VULTURES licked up MY tasty treats! So now it’s only fair that whatever-these-things-are be forced to BATTLE EACH OTHER. VIOLENTLY. And that’s where you come in!
Challenge Time![]
MePhone: Each of you will be assigned a creature to nurture and send into our fighting tournament! The winner gets the Immunity Cookie, and will be safe at the vote tonight from a heart-breaking backstab.
The Floor: But in lighter news, I spied on our new pesty-besties and can assure you they’re super strong, have their own special powers, and are way-cute.
Silver Spoon: Great! I’ll just go ahead and pick the big one.
MePhone: Notta chance! I’ll be picking based on which one reminds me of each of you.
Silver Spoon: Must have an endearing personality.
Utter Filth: (Gargling sounds)
MePhone: You have the hour to get to know your creature, and then the tournament will begin. MOVE IT!
Paintbrush: Let’s show these guys what we’re all about, NEW OLD THINKERS!
[Paintbrush spins]
Yin: Spin! SPIIIIIN!
Candle: (In the Calm-Down Cabana) I don’t know who on the team is destined to be the betrayer, or the betray-ee, but it’s my responsibility to alter the course of fate.
Filed Friendships[]
Paintbrush: And... fetch!
Diamond Crusher: (Groany noise)
Paintbrush: I wanna help my pal, Diamond Crusher but, I have no clue where to start.
Candle: Ah. I can help guide all of us Thinkers in training. Firstly, I ask that each of you-
Cabby: TAKE A FOLDER! EACH AND EVERY FOLDER MUST GOOOO!
[Cabby throws the files to everyone]
Silver Spoon: Oh, delightful. Ten tips and tricks on caring for your cute pet.
[Utter Filth struggling to fly a bit]
Sliver Spoon: Now if only I had one.
Cabby: (In the Calm-Down Cabana) Test Tube claimed that I’ve made “people scared of me.” While she clearly miscalculated, I decided to be a helpful-Hellen and acquire friendships through a shared love of knowledge. Excited, Montgomery?
Montgomery: Pachoo! Pew pew!
Candle: Oh. I suppose you have that all handled then.
With Sprinkles On Top[]
Silver Spoon: So how about a trade-sies?! It’s the bargain of the century!
Yang: Yeah, bargain BIN! Scram, GO!
Yang: (To Yin) Great! Now our first lesson is on armed robbery.
Yin: Actually, I was hoping maybe I could be in control for this? I always wanted to raise a little one.
Yang: Ughhh. Fine. But we better win! And no stupid names!!
Yin: Deal, thanks Yang!
[Mindful positions]
Yin: Now let’s get to it, Sprinkles!
Sprinkles: (Barks)
Best Pet Friends[]
Balloon: Best-friends, report!
Nickel: Nickel Jr. is coming in with the muscle! Must've been why MePhone put us together.
Nickel Jr.: EHHH.
Nickel: Oh yeah... it's- it's the muscle.
Bot: Here we have uh... N-Slash-A! My little guy.
N-Slash-A: My little guy.
Bot: Not. Little.
[Bot extends their legs]
Quacky: Quaaaaack.
Balloon: Aaand Quacky! Now, I was thinking if we pick just ONE of our pets to train together, we can ensure one of us wins the immunity!
Bot: I’m not sure if I want my teenie pal-
N-Slash-A: My teenie pal.
Bot: (Groans)
[Bot extends their legs more]
Bot: Getting hurt out there. Buuuut Quacky down there’s real BUFF!
Nickel: Sounds like a plan!
Nickel: (To Quacky) Eat up, new favorite.
Sweets Delight[]
Candle: Need any help over here?
Yin: Oh, no! Sprinkles and I are swell, and Yang took the day off for me! It’s like we don’t even need your classes anymore! Great, right?
Candle: Of course. I’m very proud, Yin. You two just... keep at it.
[Sprinkles inhales a chocolate sundae]
Yin: I don’t know if it’s... the BEST idea to eat all of that at once. Let’s maybe try a healthy option?
Sprinkles: (Growls and barks)
[Generates two more chocolate sundaes then inhales them]
Yin: Or maybe... A toy!! Riggity Rex! Yes! You deserve this for being a delight.
Sprinkles: (Barks)
Too Early To File It[]
The Floor: Now, what’d be the perfect name for you?
Tootsy Wootsy: I am a cosmic being beyond your comprehension. I shall not be tied down by your limiting titles, NOR your competition. It should be YOU who is bowing down! FEAR ME!!!!!!!
The Floor: I’m thinking... Tootsy Wootsy.
Cabby: Greetings, The Floor. I see you’ve been utilising my folder.
The Floor: Yeah, very cool stuff.
Cabby: Great! So are we friends now?
The Floor: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Cabby: (In the Calm-Down Cabana) UGHHHHHH. At least... I have... You. Montgomery?
Montgomery: ...Pew.
Unstuffed[]
Yin: Soup’s up, Sprinkles! Hope you’re ready for- (Gasp) RIGGITY! NOOOOO!
Sprinkles: (Barks)
Yin: Bark NOTHING! This was a symbol of unity, and you destroyed it! Just... LEAVE!
Sprinkles: (Whimpers)
[Sprinkles leaves]
Yin: Oh no. What did I do? SPRINKLES!!
Stay Loyal[]
Candle: Hmm. You too, Flamina?
Silver Spoon: Candle! Master of odd and ick. I have the perfect new bestie for you to swap for. Meet: Utter Filth.
Utter Filth: (Groans dazzlingly)
Candle: Silver. Have you been training your pet at all?
Silver Spoon: Of course not, I want it GONE.
Candle: Pull it together. When you treat others well, they stay loyal back. Got it?
Silver Spoon: My, something surely has gotten into you. Is no one begging for your sagely wisdom?
Candle: You should be.
Silver Spoon: Heh. Well. Alright then. Better ask for an autograph now before we plunge into the humiliating depths of social infamy.
Candle: (Chuckles) I’ll be sure to.
Things Have Gone Wrong[]
Cabby: You okay there, Yin-Yang... ster?
Yin: Sprinkles... is GONE! I didn’t know how to put my foot down, and I yelled, and I’m bad. I can’t do anything without Yang.
Cabby: Take him.
Yin: What? But he’s yours!
Cabby: Psh. Him? He won’t even look at me. But you two... you’ll be unstoppable.
Yin: Oh, thank you, Cabby! He’s the perfect little gift. You’re a lot nicer than everyone says you are.
Cabby: Excuse me?
[Alarm blares]
MePhone: TIMES UP!
Balloon: (Pants) MEPHONE! My pal went MISSSING!
MePhone: Unfortunately, that means you’re disqualified. But FORTUNATELY, We’re down to eight! PERFECT for a BALANCED TOURNAMENT! Let the incredible violence COMMENCE!
Bot: Uhh. MINE'S MISSING TOO!
MePhone: [groans] Unfortunate, but fine...
Yin: I lost mine and got a new one!
MePhone: Oh! How fortunate!
Cabby: Because I might have... Given mine up?...
MePhone [Shaking with anger]
Inani-Mate Smackdown[]
MePhone: Welcome to Inani-MATE Smackdown! The six of you will now enter an awkwardly uneven tournament bracket with three initial rounds, a semifinal, and a grand final.
Diamond Crusher VS Nickel Jr.[]
MePhone: The first round is Paintbrush’s DIAMOND CRUSHER vs. Nickel’s... Nickel Jr? Really, guys?
Paintbrush: Go Diamond Crusher! I love youuu!
Nickel: Go Nickel Jr, my love is conditional!
MePhone: Oh, this is so exciting! Let’s GO! GO! GO!
[Nickel Jr. bumps Diamond Crusher with his horns and then Diamond Crusher explodes in confetti]
Paintbrush: D- Diamond?
Tootsy Wootsy: This is what your barbaric competition has led to. An Inani-Mate has fallen.
The Floor: Ah dang, do you think it hurt?
Tootsy Wootsy: Well, no. We Inani-Mates quite enjoy the sensation of confetti’ing. NONETHELESS, I DEMAND YOU CEASE THIS-
MePhone: Oh sweet! These guys like exploding?! Let’s keep it going!
Tootsy Wootsy: YOU FOOL!!!!!
Utter Filth VS Sprinkles 2[]
MePhone: Round two! Silver Spoon’s Utter Filth vs. Yin-Yang’s Sprinkles 2.
Yang: Wait... Sprinkles?
Yin: Ah. Yes! She looks different because of the... um... Magical transformation! I leveled her up!
Yang: Well DUH, that is obvious! I MEAN why did you name her Sprinkles?!
MePhone: Aaaaand go!
[Montgomery bumps Utter Filth with his horns and then Utter Filth explodes in confetti]
Montgomery: Kabloom!
Candle: Now he’s gone. Just like you wanted.
Flamina VS Tootsy Wootsy[]
MePhone: Round three. Candle’s Flamina vs. The Floor’s Tootsy Wootsy.
Tootsy Wootsy: Flamina. I know you. You have ambitions, dreams! Please do not give into your base instincts to be the confetti. YOU ARE MORE THAN THIS.
[Flamina bumps into Tootsy Wootsy which then Flamina explodes herself in confetti]
Tootsy Wootsy: I... am so sorry.
The Floor: Loved the reverse-psychology, my little murder-bug.
MePhone: And thus concludes the initial rounds!
Leading To Paradise[]
Silver Spoon: Oh, here to kick the rich while they’re down? You make me sick.
Nickel: No, really, I’M the one who’s down right now.
Silver Spoon: Oh? That’s better.
Nickel: Me, Balloon, Bot. We’re just so... worthless! We don’t have anyone really smart, with a vision, to- to command us!
Silver Spoon: You don’t say.
Nickel: I do! But I know you’re in paradise, with cool leaders like Paintbrush and Cabby overshadowing you, I could never beg you to leave all that just to be a HERO.
Sprinkles 2 VS Tootsy Wootsy[]
MePhone: Because Nickel Jr. defeated its opponent in the least amount of time, it receives a spot in the finals. Now let’s see who’ll take it on in the semi-finals!
MePhone: It’s Yin-Yang’s Sprinkles 2 vs. The Floor’s Tootsy Wootsy!
Tootsy Wootsy: Please. I cannot take another death on my conscience.
[Montgomery flies back]
Tootsy Wootsy: Whew. Okay. Now, let’s join forces and- W- wait! NOOOOOO!
[Montgomery bumps into Tootsy Wootsy which then Montgomery explodes himself in confetti]
Montgomery: Pachew.
Tootsy Wootsy: (Whimpers)
The Floor: Hey champ. When this is all done, I’m getting you an apple juice.
Yin: Sprinkles... Gone again.
Yang: Again?
Yin: I’m sorry, Yang, I told a fib. The real Sprinkles didn’t transform, she ran away. I didn’t know how good you were at being assertive. I’m glad you’re here for our balance!
Yang: I... Don’t know how to do feelings back... But. Uh. There- there... Same?
Yin: (Crying) SAME!!
Nickel Jr. VS Tootsy Wootsy[]
MePhone: And it’s all down to this for the final round. It’s Nickel’s Nickel Jr. vs. The Floor’s Tootsy Wootsy!
The Floor: One Looney Balloonie left to pop!
The Floor: (To Nickel) Did I get that name right? I’ve been listening closely.
Nickel: What?! Well, look, it doesn’t matter. I’m gonna wipe the FLOOR with you! Eh- that came out wrong.
Tootsy Wootsy: I make my final plea. The bloodshed can end here. We can turn against our masters. I don’t want to fight...
Nickel: SICK 'EM!
Nickel Jr.: (Growling)
Tootsy Wootsy: So be it.
MePhone: And... GO!
Nickel Jr.: (Grunts)
Tootsy Wootsy: RAH!
Nickel Jr.: (Grunts)
Tootsy Wootsy: (Gets hit by nickel jr, and starts struggling) While I may cease to be, My convictions will live on...
[POP]
Tootsy Wootsy: Oh! That is nice.
The Winner of Inani-Mate Smackdown[]
MePhone: And the winners are Nickel and his Inani-Mate, Nickel Jr.!
Nickel: Woo! You did great, bud! All that support really paid off.
Balloon: Hey, I'm just realizing... after we lost Quacky and N-Slash-A... All that was left were... these.
Nickel: No. He- he couldn't... You... MURDERER! What, were- were you jealous of Quacky? It's a competition! I wish you would GO.
Nickel Jr.: I. Wanted. You. To be. Proud... ...Dad.
Nickel: Nickel- Nickel Jr.!
[POP]
Nickel: I didn't like that.
Bot: We scar-bonding today.
MePhone: Nickel has earned himself the immunity cookie! Now it's time to get ready for the vote.
After the challenge...[]
Silver Spoon joins the Looney Balloonies[]
Balloon: Oh, sure, the team color doesn't have to be pink if you don't want it to be!
[KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK]
Nickel: Come on in! Silver, our brand new leader! (hushed) Roll with me, he can be a number for us! He's not the actual leader.
Bot: Ah! We'll do whatever you say! We're helpless!
Silver Spoon: Clearly, I arrived just in time! Goldie, you can be my second-in-command. You, robot, we've had our differences, but I like your spunk. And Balloon... we always need someone at the bottom. Whew, exciting!
Balloon: (In the Calm-Down Cabana) (mocking) "He's not the actual leader." If we need to follow Silver's commands, it doesn't matter if it's just to make him happy. HE'S THE NEW LEADER!
The Thinkers pick Nickel?[]
Cabby: How about someone else chooses whom we'll vote for today?
Yin: Oh! Let's... vote Nickel!
Yang: Good assertion!
Cabby: Oh! The one who already... has... immunity. GREAT idea!... (laughs in pain) Anyyy... Other ideas? Please?
(Paintbrush and The Floor chuckle)
Flipping To the Other Side[]
Silver Spoon: If we need one more, I say we invite The Floor. Much like the Inani-Mates, he has some nifty abilities! Better with us than against us.
Nickel: You probably don't even need to tell him, he hears everything!
Candle: Silver Spoon. May I have a word? This morning I foresaw betrayal. Are you trying to vote me out again?
Silver Spoon: Me? No no. I was just... Sleuthing! Gathering intel!
Candle: You're STILL lying to me? Ugh. I thought you were going to FINALLY be loyal to the team.
Silver Spoon: Pft. The team. The home, the family! (chortles) I don't know why you still bother with them. They've clearly outgrown you.
Candle: And have you? If you dare flip to the other side, I'll...
Silver Spoon: You'll...
The Elimination[]
MePhone: Aw, look at you all. My little exterminators. Firstly, onto the immunity vote, that'll spare one of you. I bet those PESTS wish they had this!
Balloon: Pets! PETS!!!
MePhone: The contestant safe today is... Yin-Yang!... Again. You could not vote for Nickel, and any vote for Yin-Yang will be canceled-out. I'll read the votes! First vote: The Floor. The Floor. The Floor. That's three votes for The Floor. Balloon. Balloon. Balloon. That's three votes Floor, three votes Balloon.
[Nickel mouths "You're good."]
MePhone: Balloon. Three votes Floor, FOUR votes Balloon. The Floor. Four votes Floor, four votes Balloon. One vote left.
[Paintbrush mouths "Someone flipped?"]
MePhone: The eleventh contestant eliminated from Inanimate Insanity Invitational... The Floor.
Paintbrush: But... we had The Thinkers back and... (gasp) Silver!
Silver Spoon: Painty.
Paintbrush: Of course. I knew you didn't deserve our trust!
Candle: No, he doesn't. But we don't need it... Just like you all don't need me.
Yang: ...Candle?
Candle: So, I've taken my game into my own hands. And if you try to beat MY alliance, you will fail.
Cabby: (laughs under breath) Then it sounds like it's game-on. Hey. Thinkers forever... Right?
Paintbrush: ...yeah. Forever.
Silver Spoon: Wow, didn't you know you had this side to you.
Bot: Thanks for saving us.
N-Slash-A: Thanks for saving us.
MePhone: Any last words for The Floor?
The Floor: Nah. Don't need 'em!
MePhone: Suit yourself.
The Floor: Ow. Oh! You got me! But my convictions... will... live on! Bleh.
MePhone: OKAY WELL... Nothing to see here, folks! Tune in next time to see how I fix any lingering problems that I TOTALLY thought-through ahead-of-time! Next time on: Inanimate Insanity Invitational!