| Character
|
Scene/Script
|
| (Scene: Suitcase is sitting on a dock, looking at her reflection sadly. Baseball walks up to her, and she looks up.)
|
| Baseball
|
Suitcase? Why are you sitting here all by yourself?
|
| Suitcase
|
Well, sometimes it's good to be alone for a little while. At least, I think so.
|
| Baseball
|
(beat) Listen, when we suggested that you steal the battery and everything, I didn't wanna make you uncomfortable. It's just-
|
| Suitcase
|
I've... never been under pressure like that before. Stressed that any second, someone was gonna jump out and scream in my face, (screaming) "What are you doing?! Who do you think you are?! You're gonna get nothing but what you deserve! Death! Let death be your punishment!" (returns to normal) Yeah...
|
| Baseball
|
(weirded out) ...I know Nickel comes off as strong sometimes, but... it's just that he expects a lot out of us. H-he believes in us. (Suitcase looks unconvinced. Baseball smiles encouragingly.) Alliance to the end, right?
|
| Suitcase
|
Yeah. (smiles) You bet.
|
| Baseball
|
Alright! (walks away) Good talk!
|
| Suitcase
|
Good talk... Yeah... (stares into the distance, then sees something to the left)
|
| (Cut to Balloon sitting on a cliff, also staring into the distance. Suitcase comes to join him.)
|
| Suitcase
|
This place is beautiful!
|
| Balloon
|
Up here, everything's below us. And we don't need the approval of others. Plus, the sunset's nice.
|
| Suitcase
|
Yeah! Solid 8 out of 10, would watch again. Wait, approval? That sounded a little off.
|
| Balloon
|
Oh, trust me, there was a time I thought I needed their approval.
|
| (Flashback to Balloon standing outside Hotel OJ in the rain, holding a piece of paper.)
|
| Balloon
|
(clears throat) "Hey, OJ. I just figured I'd pop by... I mean, uh, drop! Drop by. I, uh, I figured maybe we could... talk it over? Who knows. Maybe you'll... change your mind?" No, no. Too forceful. Uh...
|
| OJ
|
Ahem! (revealed to be standing in the doorway) How long are you planning on pacing back and forth here?
|
| Balloon
|
Oh, uh... Hey, OJ! I just, uh, figured I'd, uh-
|
| OJ
|
Is- Is that a note sheet? (grabs the paper and reads Balloon's apology notes) Oh. Oh boy. Come in for a minute.
|
| (OJ escorts Balloon into Hotel OJ, where a party is going on. When the hotel guests see Balloon, the music stops and they walk away in disgust.)
|
| OJ
|
Listen, if you wanna say something, you've gotta be real with me here.
|
| Balloon
|
(sighs) It was all in the game, OJ. I was... just playing a character. You know, the- the character that wins. I- I didn't mean to burn bridges. Can't we all just... start over?
|
| OJ
|
The show can put this... pressure on people, and the competition can make you feel this need to take on a role. In a way, I still do. Mine's sort of the caretaker now. But it's mostly in the past.
|
| Balloon
|
The past? Because you got away from it?
|
| OJ
|
Well, yeah. I can understand that it was a game and what you did. It's not all there is to you. But almost all these guys: Bomb, Pickle, Pepper, the other one... they didn't play a game. They really think you're... you know. Why would you want them anyway?
|
| Balloon
|
Because... it's you guys! We collected lemons, we stood on a cliff... (tearing up) it's gotta be you!
|
| OJ
|
If you never give anyone else a chance, it can only be us!
|
| Balloon
|
What?
|
| OJ
|
Uh... (sighs) You've only done all these things with them. You have a brand new opportunity to meet people now, and I'm sure at least one of them will accept you, you've just gotta find them. Oh, and uh, take this. (grabs an umbrella and hands it to Balloon) I'm not a really big fan of the rain and I know how it feels to be diluted. (shivers) It's just gross.
|
| (Cut to Balloon outside, the door slammed shut in his face.)
|
| Balloon
|
(teary eyed) But... I don't want to.
|
| (Thunder rumbles, flashback ends.)
|
| Balloon
|
You see? OJ wouldn't let me talk!
|
| Suitcase
|
Balloon, you can't manufacture an apology like that. It has to come from a place of truth.
|
| Balloon
|
It never works! And nobody even cares... (wipes a tear away)
|
| Suitcase
|
Well, I care. You just need to believe in what you say. Otherwise, no one will.
|
| (The intro plays.)
|
| (Scene: An incline. Soap and Microphone are walking up it, both holding various cleaning supplies.)
|
| Soap
|
Thanks for helping me with this, Mic.
|
| Microphone
|
Hey, no problem. I never knew there was such thing as a triple-sided mop to get to the "hard-to-reach places".
|
| Soap
|
This urge to clean is like a bizarre defense mechanism. A spider, crawling on my back, waiting to bite me!
|
| Microphone
|
(insincerely) Uh, yeah! I hate it when those happen!
|
| Soap
|
But I realized, you can scrub as hard as you want, but life would never be squeaky clean, you know?
|
| Microphone
|
Yeah... I wish I started talking to you a lot earlier. My input isn't really valued by the rest of the team.
|
| Soap
|
Well, on a team, everyone's opinion matters. And even for yourself, Microphone. You need to listen to your heart, like I'm about to do now! (Soap raises her cleaning supplies. Zoom out to reveal that they're on a cliff, and Soap is holding the supplies over the edge. She hesitates.) Right now... Any second... Here I go- No! (puts the box down) I can't!
|
| Microphone
|
What?!
|
| Soap
|
I've scrubbed my whole life, I can't give it up now. (Microphone groans.) You see... (singing) Cleaning's my life and when I'm feeling down-
|
| Microphone
|
(slaps Soap) Pull yourself together, woman! (throws the cleaning supplies down the cliff)
|
| Soap
|
Noooooooo! ...Thanks.
|
| (Cut to the Elimination Area.)
|
| MePhone4
|
Welcome to elimination time! I know it's your favorite part of this show.
|
| Knife
|
Actually, I find it boring and repetitive.
|
| MePhone4
|
Well, maybe this will be your last one.
|
| Knife
|
(sarcastically) Oh, yeah...
|
| Nickel
|
Um, Knife, have you gone over your sarcasm notes lately?
|
| Knife
|
Um... (sarcastically) No...
|
| Nickel
|
I have failed you.
|
| MePhone4
|
This time, the prizes are concert tickets to Spoiled Lemon.
|
| Microphone
|
Wow! Those are hard to come by!
|
| Nickel
|
Heh! I'm just gonna scalp that ticket online.
|
| MePhone4
|
You won't be scalping jacksquat if you're eliminated.
|
| Knife
|
(sarcastically) Gasp.
|
| MePhone4
|
Alright, MePad, let's show the votes!
|
| MePad
|
Sir, I believe Toilet would like to pitch in and show the votes today.
|
| Toilet
|
That's right! I made little cards with colored paper and glitter and everything! (moves very close to MePhone4) You like 'em? (MePhone4 blows the cards away.) No! I worked so hard on those, especially the pink ones, (sound fading as he disappears off screen) they're my favorite ones...!
|
| MePhone4
|
Okay, Baseball, Knife, Suitcase, and Microphone are all safe.
|
| Knife
|
Too bad Spoiled Lemon went downhill when the lead singer left.
|
| Microphone
|
Pshh. Starfruit was an attention hog anyway.
|
| MePhone4
|
It's down to Soap, Nickel, and Balloon. MePad, show the votes.
|
| MePad
|
(annoyed) As you wish.
|
| (MePad loads the votes. Soap and Balloon look worried while Nickel looks calm. Eventually, the votes are revealed. The eliminated contestant is Soap, with 2663 votes. Everyone but Nickel and Soap gasp.)
|
| Soap
|
There must be a mistake! Someone clean his hardware! I'd do it... but I can't!
|
| MePhone4
|
Impossible! I always give everyone exactly what they deserve.
|
| Toilet
|
(sadly) Oh...
|
| Soap
|
Wait. Actually, my mistake. I didn't realize that forcing your teammate to steal kept you in the game, but pointing out the crime though? What a disgrace.
|
| Nickel
|
What?! We didn't force her to do anything. Right, Suitcase?
|
| Suitcase
|
(anxiously) Yep... whatever you say...
|
| Nickel
|
Yep, those are the words of an independent thinker alright. You see, Soap, the viewers are carnivorous wolves. They will eat you at the slightest act of rudeness.
|
| Soap
|
Oh, and you're still here? Whatever. Just remember who your true friends are, Suitcase. And Mic, remember to listen to year heart. (holds up two peace signs and walks backwards into the Rejection Portal)
|
| Knife
|
Oh, I thought you were gonna do that thing where the person's in the middle of talking, and someone knocks them into the portal, and they're all like "Waaaaaah...!"
|
| MePhone4
|
Eh, I got a little tired of that. Anyway, as for the next challenge, you're gonna have to forgive me. I've been thrown way off schedule. I've had it rough lately, you know. I was sued, tried in court, jailed, brutally sneezed on, and nearly glitched into submission! But this time it's gonna be different. We're taking things low key.
|
| Fan
|
Oh, so you're saying this is filler!
|
| MePhone4
|
It's not filler. (slowly) It's not filler. (normally) It's just, uh... We're naturally slowing down the pace.
|
| Fan
|
So right now... all of this... You're saying this is all filler.
|
| MePhone4
|
It's not filler! If it was filler, there'd be no significant plot developments at all. However, uh, I've just been informed that Marshmallow... uh... lost her bottlecap collection! Oh no! A beloved assortment of caps to bottles she's been gathering for ages! Paintbrush, Lightbulb, you gotta help her find them!
|
| Marshmallow
|
I don't even have a-
|
| MePhone4
|
Look!
|
| (Cut to Marshmallow, Lightbulb, and Paintbrush looking for bottle caps and talking over each other. While they do so, the words "NOT FILLER" flashes on the screen in large, red letters while an airhorn noise is playing.)
|
| Marshmallow
|
(singing) Bottlecap, oh bottlecap, where have you gone from me? Bottlecaps, where have you gone from me- (coughs)
|
| Lightbulb
|
(singing) Do la... re mi fa... so la... ti dooooo ti la so fa mi re do! (speaking) Oh Mr. Bottlecap, come over here and cap my bottles!
|
| Paintbrush
|
(yelling into a microphone) People! We are looking for a bottlecap! Yes, a bottlecap! If we do not find this bottlecap, we will sure all die a terrible death. (takes out a sign saying "FIND THE CAPS OR DEATH") It will be heartbreaking, and I will be sad, and cry, but I will be dead because there are no bottlecaps!
|
| (The Grand Slams look at the three in confusion.)
|
| MePhone4
|
Yes, occupy yourselves. Now to think of a challenge...
|
| Microphone
|
What do you guys think you'll- (Zoom out to reveal the Grand Slams gone.) And you're all gone... (walking into an area signposted "Perilous Forest") I expected about as much.
|
| (Cut to Knife laying on a lawn chair while Fan is pacing around in front of him.)
|
| Fan
|
I'm trying to figure out why MePhone just blew us off back there. He doesn't do that.
|
| Knife
|
Sure he does! Didn't you notice he ditched us for the last two challenges?
|
| Fan
|
Well, the first one he was sentenced to jail, and the second one was he was sentenced to death, so eh, you give and take.
|
| Knife
|
That's hardly an excuse.
|
| Fan
|
Well, I'm thinking, maybe, you know, maybe... this isn't filler after all.
|
| Knife
|
You know what?
|
| Fan
|
What?
|
| Knife
|
I don't think it means a darn thing!
|
| Fan
|
Oh.
|
| Knife
|
Mr. Overthinker!
|
| Fan
|
Oh wow. Well, think whatever you convince yourself, I mean, that's what I'd do, but... But there has to be a reason the organization is different.
|
| Knife
|
What?
|
| Fan
|
Wait... What if... (looks at his reflection in the Meeple logo on his MePhone) what's around us is changing... because... we're changing?
|
| (Knife walks up behind Fan.)
|
| Knife
|
(gasps sarcastically) Look at that! My location is changing! Whoa! (walks away) Everyone thinks they're a genius...
|
| (Cut to Microphone walking through Perilous Forest. She sits down on a tree stump and begins writing in her diary.)
|
| Microphone
|
Dear Mic's Diary, for some reason, Soap got kicked out today... when it really wasn't her time to go... Nothing much else to say. I would complain some more, but hey, (stops writing) why would you care?! You're a book! (throws the diary in a bush)
|
| (After a beat, a voice comes from the bush, reading the diary aloud.)
|
| ???
|
Dear Mic's Diary, today I accidentally lost the triathlon... Hope no one holds it against me... Dear Mic's Diary, I don't always do well in challenges... but they have to understand I sometimes pull through... Dear Mic's Diary, I may be loud... but I still go under the radar... Dear Mic's Diary, dear Mic's diary, dear Mic's diary. Annoying! Harmful! Random! Useless. Insignificant. Loser.
|
| Microphone
|
Stop! What do you want?!
|
| ???
|
All I want...
|
| (The character jumps out on a log and reveals herself to be none other than Taco.)
|
| Taco
|
...is to help!
|
| (Microphone screams so loudly that it can be heard by the other contestants outside the forest; and MePhone4, MePad, and Toilet, who are brainstorming challenge ideas. Finally, Taco holds Microphone's power button, muting her.)
|
| Taco
|
We done? I have no intention of going deaf today. Alright, ready to converse in a civilized manner? (releases power button)
|
| Microphone
|
(panting) Alright, what are you doing here, Taco?
|
| Taco
|
Microphone, sit down. (Cut to Microphone already doing so.) Now, listen to the story of just how irritatingly pathetic you are, and thereby, how much you need me.
|
| Microphone
|
(angrily) What did you ju-
|
| Taco
|
Microphone, you're loose cannon. A "wild card", if you will. Will you? Some may call it "diverse gameplay". I recognized it as chaos that must be reined in. Take it from last season's loudmouth, yours truly. Microphone, your moves may be bold, but they should be more precise; that's where I come into play.
|
| Microphone
|
Yeah? And what will it cost me?
|
| Taco
|
I'm just attempting to make ends meet. 50-50 split of the million, that's it.
|
| Microphone
|
So automatically forfeit half of my winnings? Nice try.
|
| Taco
|
Microphone, let's face it: Without me, you'll be left with squat. Not even a million of squats, and you'll shed countless tears regarding might have been if you had listened to dear Taco. Just think it over, Microphone, alright? Give it a good... think. Let me know if necessary. It's your game. (walks backwards into bush) You have so much to gain.
|
| (The credits roll.)
|
