The episode begins with Paper taking a picture of the beach, sitting on a beach chair.
Pickle: Okay, let's do this! *dives into the water* Ah, now that's refreshing. Come in! The water's fine.
Cheesy emerges from the water.
Cheesy: Just fine? What a SHALLOW compliment! Ha-ha! Get it?
Pickle: Wait, dude, how long were you down there for?
Cheesy: *chuckles* What do you mean?
Pickle: Like, I dove in, you were nowhere to be found and then you just emerged suddenly.
Cheesy: *chuckles* Airline food! Am I right?
Pickle: *laughs* Come on, Paper! You really wanna miss out on this?
Paper: Oh, you both look like you're having a lovely time! But, I'm doing just great over here! Yeah... *reads his newspaper* big yikes...
Pickle: Uh, I think you'd enjoy it! I know I do. *chills on the water* Ah...
Paper: Yeah, but, you're a Pickle. Sitting in salt water is kind of your thing.
Cheesy: Ooh, I saw that glare! It seems like you're the one who's SALTY you can't join us. *slaps his knee on water* what?
Paper: Come ON, Pickle! Don't you remember the Christmas party?
flashback to Hotel OJ during Christmas
Paper: Wow! I am SO excited for this Christmas party! It's going to be grea-OH NO! Why do you have that giant gallon of water?
Tissues: Aw, thanks guys! You like it? I'm trying to stay hydrated for my CondiSHAWN, lots of fluids, guys! Uh-oh! *he sneezes and the gallon of water gets flung out of his hands and falls on the floor*
Paper tries to protect himself from being drenched by the gallon, but it didn't do anything
emergency sirens blare
Soap: He sneezed right ON you! Emergency wash! EMERGENCY WASH!
the sprinkler system is activated and Paper melts
flashback ends
Pickle: Oh, yeah. You had a rockin' bowtie that day.
Paper: Yeah... So, I hope you could understand why swimming isn't my forte.
Pickle: Oh, come on, man. You can't let one bad experience ruin it. Otherwise you'll never move on to the next... SHAAAARK!!!
Paper: Huh?!
Pickle: *while drowning* Oh no! I'm having a bad experience! SAVE ME!
Paper: Don't worry, Pickle! I am on the way!
Lifering blows his whistle
Lifering: We got a sinker! *rushes to the spot where Pickle was drowning and dives in*
Pickle: Wait! Stop! It wasn't supposed to be you!
Lifering: I wouldn't be picky, son. Because that shark sure isn't!
Pickle: No, but... *chuckles* there IS no shark. *laughs* Uh, this was a lesson, though.
Paper: What KIND of lesson?!
Pickle: A SWIMMING lesson. To prove that your fears are just in your head.
Paper: what... NO! I think they're in YOUR head! I-
Lifering: WHAT?! DID YOU SERIOUSLY FAKE DROWNING IN MY OCEAN!? I DITCHED MY GRILLED CHEESE FOR THIS!!!
Cheesy: Ha-ha... huh?
Pickle: Whoa, dude! I'm sorry.
Lifering: NO! THAT IS NOT OKAY! IT WAS PARTINA! SERIOUSLY! WHAT... IS YOUR... DILL?!
Cheesy: Ha-okay. I'm retiring.
Lifering hops out of the area
Paper: Okay, fine! Maybe I AM salty! Because... I wish I could join you guys! But, water makes me soggy and there's no way around THAT! Beach party, CANCELLED! *rips his newspaper in half and walks away* sorry...
Cheesy: Hmm... In a real pickle, eh?
Pickle: I thought you said you retired.
Cheesy: Pfft. Come on! That was never a real possibility.
Pickle: It's not a possibility. *he looks at Paper's camera* But, I know something that is.
Pickle is walking to the beach at night with Paper who is blindfolded
Pickle: Okay, this way. Aaaand, now!
Paper: *takes off blindfold* Huh?
The picture of the beach is being shown on a projector screen.
Pickle: You said you couldn't swim. But there's always another possibility.
Cheesy ties a rope around Paper and lifts him up with the rope.
Paper: This is really what it's like for you guys?
Cheesy: Eh, I think you're just projecting. *he's about to slap his knee*
Pickle: No.
Cheesy goes back to holding the rope.
Paper: You, guys! Oh, this is so kind! Thank you, really.
a shark fin shows up in the picture
Pickle: I know it's not perfect. But, if you squint a little, it almost looks like a real shark.
Cheesy and Paper get scared and the shark jumps through the projector screen and squishes Pickle.
Lifering: I've called in a favor! Safety's no joke, kid. Now THAT'S how you teach a swimming lesson!