The Crappy Cliff/Transcript

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Transcript

Christian Potenza The following cartoon contains scenes of actual stupidity, some of the stunts which you are about to see were performed by animated objects! Do not try any of what you see here at home! Seriously, you could get really messed up! My name is Captain Christian Potenza, and I approve the following cartoon. Get Tooned, Be Tooned, and Stay Tooned! (laughs)

Greetings and salutations! I am your host, MePhone4. And this is Inanimate Insanity! A show where these objects compete for ONE. MILLION. DOLLARS! The challenges they will face will be gross, disgusting, and deathly. So, you don't wanna miss this!

Cut to elimination area

You see, the team that loses each episode will have to vote off a contestant, and that contestant will leave the game, never to return, EV-ER.

Cut to contestants

So, it's time for their first challenge!

Intro plays

Okay, so, the first challenge will be to jump off this 60 foot cliff, the first two contestants to jump off this cliff win and get to pick this season's teams.

This should be easy.

Oh yeah, one more thing. You must land into the safe zone filled with clean spring water, because if you don't, you will land in elephant feces.

Um, what's feces?

Feces: It's a nice word for crap, poop, dung, the kids in the pool.

Ew, gross!

If you fall into the elephant poop, you lose, and you cannot jump again. EV-ER. So, everyone ready?

Well, actually, I had a question about--

(completely ignoring and interrupting them) START!!!

Don't worry guys, I have loads of experience in jumping off cliffs. (jumps but lands in the elephant poop while screaming)

And it looks like Pickle is out... in three seconds! That's just sad.

That's disgusting!

This challenge is mine! (jumps but falls very slowly) Oh, crap! This is not good!

Come on, Salty-Salt, let's jump together!

Off that? No way.

But we are BCFFs! (Best Condiment Friends Forever) We have to be together.

I'm sorry, Pepper, there is no way. No way that I'm doing that!

Wait, Taco! Don't do it! NO! (Taco kicks Lightbulb, she falls into the water)

Wow, Lightbulb actually wins, thanks to Taco!

Thanks a lot, Taco. It's your fault Lightbulb WON! (kicks Taco, she lands in the feces)

(Cut to Pepper jumping off the cliff)

Ahh! (lands in the feces)

Oh my God! I'll save you, Pepper!

(Salt jumps off and lands on top of Pepper, they both sink in the feces)

(Marshmallow jumps off the cliff and almost lands in the water, but suddenly defies gravity, moving towards the feces, and lands in it)

Marshmallow's failure to use gravity correctly eliminates herself, so keep going!

(1 hour and 409 seconds of doing nothing and pathetic failure later)

Oh, come on! This should have been done a while ago...wait, is that a balloon?

(cut to Balloon falling very slowly towards the water)

Yes! I'm so close!

(20 minutes later)

(even closer to the water) Alright!

(Eventually, with some fast-forwarding, Balloon makes it into the water)

Balloon also wins! Which means... they can pick the teams!

Alright!

...but next episode.

WHAT!?

Yeah, you heard correctly. Next episode.

Oh, come on!

(Credits, shows the elephant poop)

Ugh, it smells so bad in here!

It's elephant poo, it's not supposed to smell like roses.

It's your fault, you know! Your... oh, what's the word...? Dumb! Your dumb jumping!

We had to try!

(grumbles) No, we didn't! When I get out of here, I swear--

(interrupts Salt) SOUR CREAM!

That. Doesn't. MAKE. SENSE!

Other Notes

• *Lightbulb was at first a boy, though this was changed around episode 3. For the first few episode transcripts, she will be referred to as a result of her original gender.

Transcripts Season 1 The Crappy Cliff • A Lemony Lesson • The Arena of Death • One-Shot Wonder • The Stacker • A New Stage In The Game • War De Guacamole • Sugar Rush • 4Seeing The Future • The Snowdown • Double Digit Desert • Aquatic Conflict • Crappy Anniversary • Inanimate Smackdown • The Great Escape • The Tile Divide • The Penultimate Poll • Journey Through Memory Lane (Part 1) • Journey Through Memory Lane (Part 2) Season 1 Remastered The Crappy Cliff • A Lemony Lesson • The Arena of Death • One-Shot Wonder • The Stacker • War De Guacamole Season 2 Breaking the Ice • Marsh on Mars • Tri Your Best • Cooking for the Grater Good • A Kick in the Right Direction • Let Er' R.I.P. • Everything's A-OJ • Theft and Battery • Rain On Your Charade • Mazed and Confused • Kick the Bucket • Alternate Reality Show • Mine Your Own Business • Hatching the Plan • Truth or Flare • The Reality of the Situation • Through No Choice of Your Own • Objects in Mirror Season 3 Stranded in Paradise • The Shame of the Name • Snapshot Showdown • The Overthinkers • Tragedy at 60 Feet • Try Not To Laugh Challenge • Best Served Cold • Out of Body Experience • Title TBD • I Am Chocolate! • Pesty Besties • Home Is Where the Heart Is • Friend or Froze • Spring on the Breakfast! • Blue Buried • The Great Bluish Bake Off • The Show Must Go On • A Jury of Your Fears • You Can't Do This Forever Season 4 The Future Is Today! • Cob Mentality • Run the Risk! • Fan the Flames Shorts The Stupid Trailer • Nickel's Tips On Conserving Water • Inanimate Insanity II - Anniversary T-Shirt Contest! • Waffling About • Seas the Day • Inanimate Insanity & BFDI Meet Up! • TWO OF THEM!? - BFDI X Inanimate Insanity 2023 Event • BFDI x Inanimate Insanity - THE PORTAL?! • Inanimate Insanity SEASON 4!? Fan's Fantastic Features The Issues with Tissues • The Participation Trophy • Nickel For Your Thoughts • The Paper Cut Exit Interviews Blueberry • Fan • Lifering • OJ • Box • Tea Kettle • Cabby • Clover • Goo • Test Tube • Paintbrush • Candle • Bot • Yin-Yang • Nickel • Silver Spoon Enanimat Ensanetay Teh Awsum Sammich • The Bow Box Pizza Partay 5 • Tis Cabbage... and sum Pasta Inanimate Answers KNIFE VS THE FANS • BALLOON VS THE POPPER • BOW VS DINOSAUR • APPLE VS SANTA