The Penultimate Poll/Transcript

Character	Scene/Script
Recapper	Last Time on Inanimate Insanity... OJ was suffering due to his lack of orange juice, and despite the fact that Paper had a container of orange juice, he didn't realize it'd be useful, much to OJ's dismay. Suddenly, that guy MePhone4S reappeared and demanded to co-host, to which MePhone4 reluctantly agreed.
MePhone4S	My news will have to wait.
Recapper	At elimination, it was down to the physical flat and the personality flat, but it was Bow who was finally eliminated and put in a rather small box. After Paper patched up his friendship with OJ, the MePhones began the Tile Terror challenge. While Pickle was utterly clueless in guiding Taco through the tiles, OJ and Paper used an effective method to quickly reach the end of the challenge.
Paper	Nice idea!
Recapper	Paper let OJ take the win as a way of saying sorry for earlier, leaving him, Pickle, and Taco up for elimination. Also MePhone4S claimed that someone's coming, but 4 didn't listen to him. I guess it's nothing. And yes, one of the alliances is going to have to be split apart this episode. Geez, I sure like foreshadowing. And that's what you missed on... Inanimate Insanity.
(Pickle and Taco are standing in front of a pole, holding rings.)
Pickle	Taco, it's called a ring toss.
Taco	Midget apples!
Pickle	Good, you're learning! Now you take the ring, and throw it into the peg! (Pickle overshoots the peg.) Ugh, whatever. You should try to- (Taco succesfully gets the ring onto the peg.) Well, that's just beginner's luck.
(OJ approaches them.)
OJ	Hey, guys! What's up?
Pickle	Oh, do you hear something, Taco?
Taco	OJ!
Pickle	Yeah, I don't hear anything either. Except for maybe an annoying buzzing sound with a hint of citrus, and I hate citrus!
Taco	Sour cream!
OJ	Look, I know not letting Paper help Taco for my own personal gain was wrong, so I came to apologize.
Pickle	Oh?
OJ	I'm sorry. We cool?
Pickle	Yeah, sure. Speaking of which, my left eye barely hurts at all.
OJ	Pickle!
Pickle	What?
OJ	You got hit on your right eye!
Pickle	Huh? (takes off his eyepatch) Oh.
(OJ facepalms.)
(The intro plays.)
(MePhone4 and the contestants are in the Elimination Area.)
MePhone4	To make this elimination a little different, I'm going to use Meeple's new MePhone-to-TV software!
(MePhone4 takes out a button with the Meeple logo on it. He presses it, and his screen goes black as he falls to the ground. His face reappears on the Elimination Area's TV screen.)
Paper	Wow! That's sick!
MePhone4	Yes, yes. Now moving on! The final prizes are...
OJ	Are they actually cookies?
Paper	Maybe kebabs!
Taco	Sour cream!
Pickle	I was thinking a new pair of socks.
MePhone4	Wow, what a coincidence! The prizes are sour sock cream and cookie kebabs! Without the cookies, 'cause...
OJ	You're a...
Paper	...fat slob...
Taco	...so...
Pickle	...you ate them.
MePhone4	Wow! How'd you know?
OJ	Lucky guess.
MePhone4	Well, OJ, you certainly are lucky, because you won immunity, so you are safe from the Final 3. And you get this kebab!
(OJ catches the kebab, and the sour cream splashes on him.)
OJ	Eww...
MePhone4	We have received 639 votes, the most ever! Taco, for some reason, only 125 people voted for you, which I really don't understand. But here is your kebab.
(Taco catches her kebab in her mouth and eats it whole.)
Paper	Ewww! She just ate a sock!
Pickle	Oh, please, like you've never eaten a sock before.
MePhone4	Paper, Pickle, no matter whose name I call, an alliance is being broken up. The name of the person going home... starts with a P!
Paper	Would you please get on with it?!
MePhone4	Fine. The person eliminated is... (OJ, Pickle, and Paper all look nervous as the votes are counted. The final count is 184 votes for Paper and 329 votes for Pickle.) Pickle! Paper, here's your reward.
(Paper catches his kebab, and the sour cream splashes on him.)
Paper	I'd... consider this more of a punishment...
Pickle	Taco, you have to win. You're the only one who deserves it.
OJ and Paper	Hey!
Pickle	Taco, in order to win, you have to believe in yourself. (chuckles) Not really. And more importantly, you- (gets punched away by the Fist Thingy)
(Cut to the characters talking in a field. MePhone4 has returned to his normal body.)
OJ	Thank goodness you're safe, Paper. I would have felt so guilty.
Paper	Well, there's no need to. Because we're both safe and now we outnumbered Taco! So, what's the next challenge, MePhone?
MePhone4	The challenge is not to be eliminated.
OJ	Uh, that's a little vague. That's always the challenge on this show.
MePhone4	But it's as simple as that! Since the eliminated contestants are going to be voting one of you out to leave us with the final two, right now. (The door to the cage on Idiotic Island opens. OJ, Paper, and Taco yelp.) So get ready for... Eliminated... Contestant... Elimination... Time...? Duh-dah. The eliminated contestants will choose one of you to also be eliminated.
OJ	Wow, they seem so calm.
MePhone4	Well, they really care about what this means to you.
Lightbulb	I can't believe we're, like, legally obligated to be here.
MePhone4	OJ, Pap-
Knife	I'll kill you! (He grabs MePhone4, but Lightbulb and Bomb restrain him.)
Nickel	Knife, calm down! Oh man, he's been acting weird lately.
Balloon	Yeah, I know!
Marshmallow	It's crazy that Taco's actually come this far!
Nickel	Oh yeah. Definitely.
Balloon	It's so unbelievable!
MePhone4	Anyway, the final three are all up for elimination, and you guys will decide who doesn't make it. So you guys can vote in the voting box. Make a single file line!
(The eliminated contestants make a line in front of the voting box, with Baseball in front. He tries to enter the box, but is too large.)
Baseball	Uh, I can't really fit.
MePhone4	Fine! Don't use the voting box! Just choose who you want to be eliminated.
Baseball	Well, I vote out Paper.
Paper	Baseball!
Baseball	Your crazy guy impressions on Idiotic Island were so annoying, and not even funny. Try calming down for a change.
Paper	Impressions?! It was a serious psychological-
Knife	Paper! You betrayed me in episode 14!
Paper	You betrayed me in episode 2!
Knife	Are you seriously not over that yet?!
Paper	Dolphins still give me nightmares...
Nickel	For sure Taco. You are unbearable and not worthy of the win. It's because of you that this bright personality over there (points at Lightbulb) was our team captain!
(Taco kicks Nickel.)
Paper	Stop kicking people!
Balloon	Taco-
Pickle	Balloon! Don't vote out my friend, you fat tub of air!
Balloon	Pickle! You suck!
(Pickle kicks Balloon, then pops him.)
Pepper	I don't know who to vote for. Like, I'm stuck.
Salt	Just don't vote for OJ.
Pepper	Why?
Salt	Don't you know? He's my best friend. And maybe something even more than that!
Pepper	What?!
Salt	Yeah, clearly we're in love.
Pepper	Hey! I thought that we were BCFFs!
Salt	Um, yeah, it's just-
Pepper	No! You are betraying us!
Salt	So you're saying I can't have any other friends or find love?
Pepper	Exactly! That's being BCFFs is all about. Now OJ, stay away from Salt, or I'll spill you!
OJ	Hey!
Salt	(gasp) Pepper, how could you?! We are so not BCFFs anymore.
Pepper	Fine!
Lightbulb	I vote OJ, because I pity the others' mental problems!
Paper and Taco	Hey!
Salt	Like, Paper, because OJ is my boyfriend, and Taco is mentally unstable. So I'd feel bad.
Paintbrush	Well, I vote for OJ!
OJ	...Why?
Paintbrush	My tree was way better than yours in episode 9!
OJ	That was months ago!
Paintbrush	And it hurts me more every day.
(The box that Bow is trapped in moves around, with banging noises coming from the inside.)
Lightbulb	I didn't permit you to escape! (kicks the box)
Bomb	OJ, duh!
OJ	Bomb, why?! Haven't you caused me enough pain?!
Bomb	No.
Marshmallow	Well, I vote out Taco! She was the only one here to vote for me to be eliminated in episode 13!
(Taco howls.)
MePhone4	Huh, that's odd.
Marshmallow	Huh? What?
MePhone4	There's a gap in the voting. I'm sure it's nothing.
(Cut to Apple on Idiotic Island 2.)
Apple	Hmm. Why do I have a strange desire to find out what the word "gap" means?
MePhone4	And Bow...?
Knife	She's in that box! But, uh, wait! I think I hear her saying something! (grabs the box and puts it in front of his face) I vote for that smelly Paper! And, like, BTW, Knife is like way better than him, or myself! Oh, and BTW, chairs chairs chairs! (throws away the box, which lands next to Marshmallow)
Marshmallow	Seems legit.
MePhone4	Alright, Pickle, it's all tied up, so you hold the key to the contestants' futures in your hands. What is your (silently) probably inane (normal voice) decision?
Pickle	Well, OJ, you were overall too competitive and made a lot of reckless decisions. Plus, you're a huge complainer, even though you barely actually won any challenges. Paper was a bit of a follower too. I'm not really sure who deserves it more.
Paper	Oh no!
Pickle	I choose... (Dramatic pause, OJ and Paper stare in distress.) Paper!
Paper	Wh-WHAT?!
Pickle	Even though OJ was too competitive, he did apologize and stayed in the entire game. You skipped like half the game, and relied on OJ too much.
Paper	Taco relied on you too! And all you did was mess her up!
MePhone4	Paper, the tribe has spoken.
Paper	WAIT! I can't go back to Idiotic Island!
(The Fist Thingy punches everyone but OJ and Taco back to Idiotic Island.)
OJ	No! I can't believe Paper didn't make it this far. (to Taco) And you! Paper deserved this more than you! And I'm gonna win for him!
Taco	(tsks) Salmonella.
MePhone4	OJ and Taco, one of you will win a million dollars! The other one will win... nothing. Find out on the finale of Inanimate Insanity, November 1st 2012.
(The credits roll.)
(Cut to Bow's box on Idiotic Island. Distorted music plays. Bow punches a hole in the box from the inside, with only her arm being visible. She unclenches her fist, revealing that she has sharp claws. A scream is heard and the camera zooms in on the box before cutting to black.)

Previous Transcript

Following Transcript