| Character
|
Scene/Script
|
| (Yin-Yang is walking towards a soda machine.)
|
| Yin
|
Oh, I'm thirsty!
|
| Yang
|
Don't complain to me!
|
| Yin
|
I'm not complaining. It's just that there is a soda machine right there!
|
| Yang
|
Ooh! I want Dr. Fizz!
|
| Yin
|
Fresh water is good to keep our body pure!
|
| Yang
|
No, water is for losers, like you!
|
| Yin
|
That isn't true! We need to keep our body pure! Water! (presses water button)
|
| Yang
|
Dr. Fizz! (presses Dr. Fizz button)
|
| Yin
|
Water! (They continue to press their respective buttons as they argue.)
|
| Yang
|
Dr. Fizz!
|
| Yin
|
Water!
|
| Yang
|
Dr. Fizz! (The soda machine starts shaking, and a vacuum emerges from it.)
|
| Yin
|
Water!
|
| Yang
|
Dr. Fizz!
|
| Yin
|
Water!
|
| Yang
|
Dr. Fizz!
|
| Yin
|
Water!
|
| (The vacuum sucks Yin-Yang into the soda machine. They are transported to Test Tube's secret lab.)
|
| Yin
|
Oh no! What just happened?!
|
| Test Tube
|
What!? How did you find my secret laboratory?
|
| Yin
|
You actually have a secret lab?
|
| Yang
|
Of course she does! She's a stupid scientist!
|
| Test Tube
|
And proud! (walks over to a framed list of "Science Rules") Well, now that you're here, please just follow the Science Rules! Rule number 1: Don't touch anything. (Yin-Yang moves to touch one of her inventions.) Hey, don't! (He leans closer.) Stop it! (He touches the invention.) No! You'll contaminate the experiment! What will it take for you to stop acting like five-year-olds?
|
| Yin
|
If I was not attached to Yang, I wouldn't do anything wrong!
|
| Yang
|
That's because you're a loser! (punches himself)
|
| Test Tube
|
Hmm, fair point. I was actually working on an experiment! (The camera zooms in on a potion labeled "Experiment 626".) I call it Experiment 626!
|
| Yin
|
What does it do?
|
| Test Tube
|
Well, our team would surely do better without your arguing! I was hoping it would split you into two different beings. That way you won't be attached anymore. (grabs Experiment 626)
|
| Yang
|
Will it work?
|
| Test Tube
|
How should I know? I haven't tested it yet! But lucky for you, you get to be my test dummy! (Yin-Yang runs away from her.)
|
| Yang
|
Yin is the real dummy!
|
| Yin
|
No, you!
|
| Test Tube
|
That's it!
|
| (She force-feeds Yin-Yang Experiment 626. He floats into the air and begins to glow. When the glow dies down, he has been split into a purely white being and a purely black one.)
|
| Yin
|
Yes!
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| Yang
|
No! I-I mean yes!
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| Test Tube
|
Hah, it worked! Now you can just-
|
| (Yang punches the invention he poked earlier, breaking it, and then jumps through the ceiling while laughing maniacally.)
|
| Test Tube
|
Hmm... Huh.
|
| (intro plays)
|
| (Trophy is resting in a sunchair with a spilled drink on the ground. Knife is standing next to him.)
|
| Trophy
|
Hey Knife, I dropped my protein milkshake!
|
| Knife
|
That's fantastic. (rolls eyes)
|
| Trophy
|
Go make me another one, slave!
|
| Knife
|
Slave!? Who are you calling slave?! I'm not doing- (Trophy shows the picture he took.) Grrr... Chocolate or vanilla?
|
| Trophy
|
I want banana blast, you idiot!
|
| (Trophy throws an empty glass at Knife, who growls angrily.)
|
| MePhone4
|
Bright Lights! (A blending sound is heard in the background.) Come with me to the elimination area! (looks at Knife, who is using a blender to make a milkshake) Knife, do you mind not blending that milkshake in our faces?
|
| Knife
|
(sarcastically) Well, sorry!
|
| MePhone4
|
You should be! So let's start the elimination!
|
| Paintbrush
|
Hold on, where's Test Tube and Yin-Yang?
|
| Test Tube
|
(walks up to the other contestants together with Yin) Here we are!
|
| Yin
|
Hi, guys!
|
| Apple
|
Hey, something's different about you, Yin-Yang! Uh, did you get a new tie?
|
| Yin
|
No, Test Tube gave me a potion to split Yang and I into different people!
|
| MePad
|
Wow, that's incredible!
|
| Paintbrush
|
So where's the darker half?
|
| Yin
|
He ran away! We tried to find him!
|
| MePhone4
|
Ehh, I'm sure we can let that wait a bit. But first, we have to give out the prizes: sticks! We got a lot of votes, so we decided to make it special! Marshmallow, Test Tube, and Apple are safe!
|
| Apple
|
Here, Marshmallow, you can have my stick!
|
| Marshmallow
|
Aww, thanks, Apple! I... I guess...
|
| MePhone4
|
Paintbrush, Lightbulb, and Fan are also safe! Here are your sticks!
|
| Lightbulb
|
It's not as spectacular as oatmeal raisin, but... I'll have to deal with it. aCKaM NyIm nYEm
|
| Paintbrush
|
Okay, that's really concerning.
|
| MePhone4
|
It's between Cherries and Yin-Yang. While the Cherries get along well with each other, we can't say the same for Yin and Yang.
|
| Yin
|
That's why I'm so glad to be separated!
|
| Left Cherry
|
Yeah, maybe it won't be as annoying!
|
| MePhone4
|
MePad, show the votes!
|
| MePad
|
This should be good...
|
| (The results are 878 votes for Yin-Yang and 974 votes for Cherries. Cherries looks shocked, then resigned.)
|
| Left Cherry
|
Oh, who am I kidding? I deserve this.
|
| Apple
|
What do you mean, Cherries? I thought you were pretty cool! Box would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for you!
|
| Left Cherry
|
Because... (sighs) I sent Marshmallow to Mars!
|
| (Everyone on the Bright Lights except for Cherries and Marshmallow gasp.)
|
| Fan
|
WHAT?! Why would you do that?!?!
|
| Left Cherry
|
I was just mad they didn't like my jokes. I was out of line. I'm sorry, guys. Will you forgive me, Box? (Right Cherry puts Box upright. Close-up of the silent Box for a few seconds.) Well, thanks for accepting my apology... (The Cherries walk away, and Box falls over.)
|
| MePhone4
|
Okay, Cherries. Now just get into the portal!
|
| Left Cherry
|
Well, before I go, I just want to say- (Yang rushes in and punches them into the portal as they scream, breathing heavily.)
|
| Yin
|
What is it? We aren't connected anymore! You can go now!
|
| Yang
|
I will! (eyes turn Milano red) And I will kill everyone here!! INCLUDING YOU!!! (laughs maniacally, then runs off)
|
| Toilet
|
He sure seems okay to me!
|
| MePhone4
|
Whatever. Onto the next challenge. It's a triathlon!
|
| Apple
|
Wait, what does triathlon mean?
|
| MePhone4
|
Well, you ignoramus, it's basically a three-part race: swimming, cycling, and running. And you gotta "tri" your best to win! (Cheesy slaps his knee.) Okay, Cheesy, they got the joke.
|
| Cheesy
|
Yeah, now they did.
|
| MePhone4
|
And because the team captains are so awesome...
|
| Lightbulb
|
Yeah...?
|
| MePhone4
|
They will not be participating.
|
| Lightbulb
|
Oh, the humanity, I can't compete, oh no! (takes out a lawn chair) Seems like my team's doomed, nooo! (Lightbulb puts on sunglasses and lies on the chair. The camera zooms out, revealing Baseball on another lawn chair.) Eh, eh, they'll be fine, eh, they'll be alright...
|
| Nickel
|
Well, without our captain, I guess I'm in charge now! So let's see, we need someone who hasn't done much to compete in the next challenge. Soap, you've been rather useless.
|
| Soap
|
Oh, you say I'm useless now?! Then how would you like it if I stopped cleaning everything for you guys?! Hmmmmm?!
|
| Nickel
|
I'd like that quite a bit, actually. Mmm, who else? Maybe you, Trophy? You're a jock.
|
| Trophy
|
Eh, I don't feel like it. Knife! You should go.
|
| Knife
|
Well, I'm not sure if...
|
| Trophy
|
Picture!
|
| Knife
|
Okay, I'll do it!
|
| Suitcase
|
I think Balloon should compete!
|
| Balloon
|
I would, but I'm too slow!
|
| (Microphone takes a deep breath. Nickel puts a foot over her mouth before she can speak.)
|
| Nickel
|
Yes, you can go too!
|
| (Microphone makes a muffled happy noise. Cut to the Bright Lights)
|
| Paintbrush
|
Lightbulb, you should pick three people.
|
| Lightbulb
|
Yo, circular black-and-white bros.
|
| Paintbrush
|
Uh, you mean Yin-Yang.
|
| Lightbulb
|
Yin-Yang? Where'd you pull that one out of? And then Test Tube, and... hold on... don't tell me... Paper?
|
| Fan
|
Are you serious?! I knew you were goofy, but now you're just being dimwitted!
|
| Paintbrush
|
But... what are you made of?
|
| Fan
|
Well, paper, but...
|
| Lightbulb
|
Oh, who was right? Me, that's who! Oh snap... (slaps Paintbrush)
|
| (Cut to the challenge area. Test Tube and Soap are standing in front of a pool, Test Tube with a cork to protect her liquid. She jumps into the water while Soap remains on land.)
|
| Suitcase
|
Go on, Soap, get in the pool!
|
| Soap
|
But... it could have... germs!
|
| Nickel
|
You'll be fine, it's clean! (kicks Soap into the pool)
|
| Test Tube
|
Actually, science has proven that pools contain approximately... 30 different types of bacteria, due to bathers introducing things to the pool like sunscreen, sweat, saliva, mucus, antioxidants-
|
| Soap
|
Okay, that's enough!
|
| Test Tube
|
Oh, just thought you'd like to know!
|
| Knife
|
God, hurry up, Soap!
|
| Toilet
|
Mistah Phone, is there anything you'd want me to do? (accidentally spills some toilet water on MePhone4)
|
| MePhone4
|
(sparks, screen flickering) It's MePhone! (kicks Toilet in pool)
|
| Toilet
|
Oh, sorry, Mistah MePhone! Oh, my toilet water's getting in the pool! (Soap screams and races away.) Hey, where are you going, Soapity-Soap?
|
| MePhone4
|
Toilet, that's disgusting! Get out now and get me some wires!
|
| Toilet
|
Oh, right away, Mister Phone! (jumps out of pool, accidentally knocking Box in)
|
| Marshmallow
|
(screams) Box is sinking!
|
| Balloon
|
I'll save him! (attempts to jump into the pool and slowly floats down) Oh, come on!
|
| (Test Tube reaches the end of the pool, jumps up, and high fives Yin, who is waiting by a bicycle.)
|
| Yin
|
Alright, Yang, let's do this together!
|
| Yang
|
You can't tell me what to do! I'm independent now! I'm doing this challenge my way! (grabs Yin and bikes away)
|
| Yin
|
Huh?
|
| (Soap jumps up at the end of the pool and high fives Knife.)
|
| Knife
|
Let's get this stupid thing over with. (bikes away)
|
| (Knife bikes past Yin and Yang. Yang grabs Yin and lifts him into the air.)
|
| Yin
|
Hey, what are you doing?!
|
| (Yang throws Yin at Knife, breaking Knife's bike.)
|
| Knife
|
(holding his leg) Ugh! You idiots! (falls on his back) Ah! My leg! I can't let this stop me!
|
| (Cut to Box at the bottom of the pool. Suitcase is standing by the pool edge.)
|
| Suitcase
|
Box, no!
|
| Lifering
|
(blows whistle) We've got a sinker! (jumps in pool to save Box)
|
| (Lifering jumps into the pool and saves Box, bringing him to the pool edge.)
|
| Nickel
|
He's alive!
|
| Cheesy
|
So wait, you just sit up there all day?
|
| Lifering
|
That's my job!
|
| Cheesy
|
Wow, you deserve a round of applause! (slaps knee) Get it? Because you're round!
|
| (Cut to Knife, who is pulling himself forward on the ground.)
|
| Knife
|
Stupid leg... Stupid Trophy... It's just all so stupid!
|
| (Cut to Yang, who has successfully made it to Fan.)
|
| Yang
|
Come on, Fan, move it!
|
| Fan
|
(sarcastically) Well, thanks for asking so politely!
|
| (Knife pulls himself to Microphone.)
|
| Microphone
|
Knife?! (loudly) What happened?!
|
| Knife
|
Grrr! You broke my eardrums! That's what happened!
|
| Microphone
|
(hits power button) Are you sure you're okay?
|
| Knife
|
Not to be rude... Well, actually, yes, I wanna be rude here! Go away, and start running already!
|
| (Microphone runs away. Cut to Fan.)
|
| Fan
|
Oh no! Mic is catching up! I'll jot that down on a blog post real quick! (He winks at the camera. The web address to the Inanimate Insanity blog appears on screen.)
|
| Microphone
|
I'm the best at challenges! With my secret weapon, you have no chance!
|
| Fan
|
(gets an idea) Gee, I don't think that was loud enough. Can you speak louder, please?
|
| Microphone
|
(hits power button) I said, with my secret weapon!
|
| (Fan is blown into the air by Microphone's soundwaves, then unfolds himself.)
|
| Fan
|
Not today! (glides to the finish line)
|
| MePhone4
|
Team Bright Lights finally wins, about time!
|
| Nickel
|
Mic, I think people have finally figured out your strategy... screaming at people! And just a side note, it's not working, so please stop!
|
| Microphone
|
I thought it was effective! What do you know, anyway?
|
| (Cut to Knife and Trophy.)
|
| Trophy
|
Wow, Knife, I can't believe what this whole blackmailing thing has caused.
|
| Knife
|
Yeah. It really gave me a good beating, so can you please let me off the hook now?
|
| Trophy
|
What? No! I was talking about how you made us lose the challenge! If I had half a brain, I'd show everyone the photo now.
|
| Knife
|
(under his breath) Well, good thing you don't.
|
| Trophy
|
What?!
|
| Knife
|
Wh-what?
|
| (Cut to Yin and Yang.)
|
| Yin
|
I can't believe you threw me at Knife. You nearly killed us both!
|
| Yang
|
Well, it doesn't matter what you think. I control my feelings now. And one by one, you all will DIE!!
|
| Marshmallow
|
Wow, Yang, take it easy. I think someone needs to go sit in the Calm-Down Corner!
|
| Yang
|
SHUT UP!!! (uppercuts Marshmallow)
|
| Yin
|
No! Yang will never calm down. I now realize why we were put together... so we could balance each other out! There's only one way to fix this! Test Tube, you have to put us back together!
|
| Test Tube
|
But Yin, I thought you couldn't stand Yang.
|
| Yin
|
I can't, but we need to be together. Somebody has to control his anger!
|
| Test Tube
|
Okay. Luckily, I just happen to have to made an antidote! (Yin and Yang take the antidotes.) Drink up.
|
| Yang
|
Ha! No way, you losers.
|
| Knife
|
(Snatches Yang's antidote) Gimme that!!! (grabs Yang and lifts him into the air) It's PAYBACK TIME!! (Shoves Yang’s antidote into his mouth causing the cloark to fall off the tube on the ground) Kniferrific.
|
| (Yin drinks his own antidote. He and Yang float into the air and merge back together.)
|
| Test Tube
|
Ugh! This was way too much! Okay, nobody is ever allowed in my laboratory ever again!
|
| Suitcase
|
What laboratory?
|
| Test Tube
|
Um… heh… mull hee haw ha mumbling…
|
| MePhone4
|
So viewers, vote for one member of the Grand Slams to be eliminated! Vote on InanimateInsanity.com! Simply click on the button for the person you want to send home.
|
| (The credits roll.)
|
| (After the credits, Lightbulb is shown, still lying in her chair at night.)
|
| Lightbulb
|
Yeah, midnight! Normally my bedtime's like... 7:46! I feel so rebellious! (notices the viewer, clears her throat, takes her chair, and walks away)
|
